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Original poster

What do people DO on mat leave?

61 replies

Bewilderbeastie · 13/08/2020 08:37

I'm a FTM, baby born week of lockdown. So my mat leave has been weird to say the least. Now we're starting to get back to some sort of 'normality' (ha!) and now st 5 months we're finally out of the newborn fog, I'm wondering what people who had non-pandemic mat leaves actually did during the day?

Might sound like a weird and stupid question, but I'm genuinely curious. I'm keen to start getting out and about a bit more but can't think of what things we can do that also work with nap times? I feel like Covid has completely skewed my perception of what things are possible (but also pleasurable) to do with a baby.

We do walks, occasionally meet up with NCT group outdoors, see family at weekends, but that's about it. Most weeks are spent at home doing the same few activities. I know baby is probably fine with that but I'm dying of boredom...

Baby groups are still not operating where I am currently.

OP posts:
BumbleNova · 13/08/2020 08:41

Baby groups. I did one every day Monday to Friday. It kept me sane. Swimming, rhyme time, baby sensory, mum and baby yoga and Gymboree. I have no idea how you are coping without them!

My baby used to happily nap in a sling/ buggy which also gave me more freedom.

Wait4nothing · 13/08/2020 08:42

Watched box sets (Gilmore Girls with first, Topsy and Tim with 2nd 🤦‍♀️)
With first, household jobs - reorganising cupboards, painting fences - bigger jobs. Often listened to podcasts while I did it (when Baby was sleeping or chilling).

Peanutbutteryogurt · 13/08/2020 08:44

Baby groups and classes, baby yoga, swimming, hartbeeps, baby sign language. We did around 3 a week.

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BikeTyson · 13/08/2020 08:44

Baby groups, walks, swimming, baby sessions at museums, meet friends, meet family. It was a bit monotonous at the beginning but definitely became fun once she was a few months old. I didn’t bother about staying at home for naps though, just plonked her in the pram or baby carrier. I really feel for you being on mat leave while so much stuff is not running, it sounds 5 times more difficult.

chubbyhotchoc · 13/08/2020 08:45

My baby didn't nap much at home. She would only nap in the pram being walked so I went out a lot. Baby groups, lunch with a friend, meeting my mum/sister, shopping. I was never in tbh because I couldn't stand the crying at home

Finfintytint · 13/08/2020 08:47

I test drove new cars with baby in car seat. I was bored senseless and couldn’t wait to get back to work.

Thecomfortador · 13/08/2020 08:47

I don't think I did very much more to be honest, went to a few groups as they got older, tried baby massage with one but just wondered what the point of it all was really. I didn't particularly enjoy the groups and baby obviously didn't know what was happening so it was all fairly short lived. We mainly went for local walks where the weather was good, other than that just sort of existed, read mumsnet, watched tv and ate food I think.

Different with ds2 where we were running around taking ds1 to nursery or to the park etc.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 13/08/2020 08:48

I certainly didn't do a baby group a day, but yes - baby groups, meeting up with friends, going to the park, going for walks (mine always loved sleeping in his pram), grocery shopping at all the wee local shops I didn't ever make it to when I was working...

I think the difference is most FTMs get out and about as soon as baby is born, and so the baby naps around that routine. Because you've been stuck at home it's the other way round. And of course, there's nothing to actually do. Can you check for open air meet ups? I think some of the buggy fitness stuff near us has reopened - that might not be your bag but it's a place to meet people.

Lazypuppy · 13/08/2020 08:49

I watched a lot of box sets!!

Went out for a walk once a day, swimming once a week.

Never did any baby groups, sounds like my worst nightmare.

Original poster
Bewilderbeastie · 13/08/2020 08:49

Yes, I had a feeling the answer was going to be baby groups! They are doing some online things but the whole point is to try to get out of the house so these really don't appeal

I'm going to try to find a baby swimming group, I think they might be running?

OP posts:
Xiaoxiong · 13/08/2020 08:49

I went to a couple of baby groups but hated them. I spent a lot of time walking with the push chair (like, 2-3 hour walks, trying to lose the baby weight), sitting in Costa reading a book, a LOT of time on my Mumsnet antenatal thread and met some lifelong friends, and I watched a lot of box sets. (My NCT group was a dud.)

I ended up going back to work 2 months early and DH took split parental leave which I can't recommend enough if that's an option for you - it really reset our relationship for the better in terms of him pulling his weight with the baby and with housework, and ended the competitive tiredness thing that was starting.

sanityisamyth · 13/08/2020 08:51

@Bewilderbeastie

Yes, I had a feeling the answer was going to be baby groups! They are doing some online things but the whole point is to try to get out of the house so these really don't appeal

I'm going to try to find a baby swimming group, I think they might be running?

Water babies are up and running. The lessons were amazing (although appear expensive) but my DS did all 17 chapters and "graduated" at age 4 as a confident, independent swimmer who was safe and happy in the water. Have a look into lessons in your area :) Good luck!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/08/2020 08:52

Line of duty whilst breastfeeding.
Play mat, tummy time, black and white books.
I tried a couple of baby groups- only liked one- a local soft play was free for under 1s, go there (usually my LO would stare up at the sensory light stuff- then I’d have a coffee and cake). Went swimming. Went to the shopping centre, saimsburys, walks.
As long as I was chatting to her and engaging, it didn’t really matter what we did.

Phoenix21 · 13/08/2020 08:52

We went to lots of baby clubs.
Went on mum’s day outings
Went to a lot of museums, city farms, libraries, exhibitions, family festivals etc
Visited a lot of relatives
Met people (and DH) on lunch breaks, Scenic London walks before and after.
Explored local area.

I aimed to do something at least every other day. Baby slept in pram. Got a bit harder as baby got more active.

I was lucky in that a few people were on mat leave with me and we had saved social funds for mat leave as it was expensive at times. I planned my week in advance.

Oh and I did have an easy baby to be fair.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 13/08/2020 08:53

What would you do if the baby wasn't there and you had the time off? At 5mo they are pretty portable so just do what you want to do and bring the baby along.

Knocka · 13/08/2020 08:53

Baby groups were like scooping out your own eyeballs with a teaspoon — completely irrelevant to small babies, attended by exhausted FTMs because they thought they were supposed to. I soon stopped, spent the rest of mat leave exploring London with DS in the pushchair, and skipped back to work early.

PrayingandHoping · 13/08/2020 08:55

Baby sensory classes are starting back up face2face. Have a look at their website and find your local group. Obv the spaces are v limited....

PomBearSandwich · 13/08/2020 08:55

I only went to 1-2 baby groups a week. Apart from that I watched lots of box sets, went into town to wander around the shops and for lunch/coffee, and also went on long walks listening to an audiobook or podcast while the baby napped in the buggy.

Wecandothis99 · 13/08/2020 08:56

Lots of lunching then then I have a lot of friends off too so al living the dream really. Would be boring alone tho

Phoenix21 · 13/08/2020 08:56

To add - I used to have a look at timeout and London tourist sights for free things to do.

In the pre Covid world there was always something, such as art exhibition at Regents Park. Obviously baby was engaged with, but let’s face it a trip to Tesco is an adventure to a baby.

minipie · 13/08/2020 08:56

5 months is a particularly tricky time as they still have 3+ naps then. I remember being bored stiff at that point. (Tho generally the first and last naps are short so could be in the buggy on the way to/from somewhere?)

As so little is open and running, your main social option is meeting with other mums with small babies. There are now apps like Mush and Peanut that aim to link up local mums, you could try those?

Also, lots of walks. Lots ans lots of walks!

Pumpertrumper · 13/08/2020 08:58

My DS was born week before lockdown too. I’m in the same boat as you.
Non of our local clubs are open.
DS screams when I’m wearing a mask so shopping is pretty unpleasant (not to mention people are so impatient and seem offended by my daring to take a pushchair out).

Outdoor activities are a bit limited by weather. It always seems either too warm or too wet to go out at the moment. DS is in a regimented nap/feed routine and we live rurally so difficult to juggle.

I’d be able to do/go out more if I didn’t have to social distance still as could have more practical help. It really sucks.

HunterAngel · 13/08/2020 08:58

I didn’t use baby groups at all, just met up with family/friends and went for many, many long walks trying to settle DS down to sleep. I just didn’t see the point in making myself presentable and attempting to be sociable with strangers

MileyWiley · 13/08/2020 08:59

Most groups I've seen round here (greater Manchester) are restarting the week after the kids are back in school.

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2020 08:59

I walked for hours, because my first born was a complete fucking nightmare, bless him. Couldn't do cafes, meet ups or baby groups because he would scream and scream and scream if kept still. Pump milk, endlessly. Try to survive hour after hour. It was horrible.