What do people DO on mat leave?

[Bewilderbeastie]

I'm a FTM, baby born week of lockdown. So my mat leave has been weird to say the least. Now we're starting to get back to some sort of 'normality' (ha!) and now st 5 months we're finally out of the newborn fog, I'm wondering what people who had non-pandemic mat leaves actually did during the day?

Might sound like a weird and stupid question, but I'm genuinely curious. I'm keen to start getting out and about a bit more but can't think of what things we can do that also work with nap times? I feel like Covid has completely skewed my perception of what things are possible (but also pleasurable) to do with a baby.

We do walks, occasionally meet up with NCT group outdoors, see family at weekends, but that's about it. Most weeks are spent at home doing the same few activities. I know baby is probably fine with that but I'm dying of boredom...

Baby groups are still not operating where I am currently.

With first, household jobs - reorganising cupboards, painting fences - bigger jobs. Often listened to podcasts while I did it (when Baby was sleeping or chilling).

What would you do if the baby wasn't there and you had the time off? At 5mo they are pretty portable so just do what you want to do and bring the baby along.

I think some of you must had completely different experiences to mine. Both mine were handfuls, not having long naps generally, or quite unsettled ones, not able to sleep when out and about as just seemed too stimulated by the outside world so just screamed in the pram when they got tired. There is no way I could have done "projects" like painting fences during naps, I was too busy trying to get my lunch, have an uninterrupted chat to my mum on the phone, wash bottles/prepare the next ones, wash & tidy up kitchen, washing/ironing, general tidy up. How are some of you managing to do things like painting fences during baby's naps?!?!

As for just doing whatever you'd do if you were off work before you were a parent. I would have read a book for 2 hours, or done gardening, or gone clothes shopping. You can't do that with a 6 month old, they're wanting to be exploring everything and they need close supervision. Frustration/tiredness/teething/hunger/illness made mine very fractious at times, so going out for lunch with a friend was just a no-go unless it was to their house.

I went for lots of walk to the park and up to the local high street just for a change of scene. Visited relatives with babies etc. And my parents. But mainly I didn'dt have time to be bored cos I did lots of stuff with my babies at home, WITH them, not alongside them. I did Child Development at GCSE so had a real interest in how babies learn and what they needed for stimulation so got a kick out of doing all that. I'm aware that not everyone finds that fascinating though.

Nct, few baby groups, walked every day, tried to see people as much as poss.
2nd time I was more chilled and binge watched breaking bad.
Must be a really odd time to be on mat leave. Perhaps cheaper tho? I spent a fortune on lunches and random bits n Bob's.

The odd baby group, medical appointments for prem baby, walks, take baby to meet people, watch box sets, then moved house and went back to work when she was six months so it absolutely flew by.

When baby was small, a lot of feeding and watching box sets! Then from about 4 months we did swimming 1 morning a week and another baby group (sensory, music etc) once a week. Rest of the time i would do something like walk into village and go to shops, local baby group at church hall, trip to library, shops, park, walks, meeting up for coffees/lunch/friends house, farms. And a lot of mooching at home.

Post Covid, I am still going to library, lots of walks, playground, picnics with friends, cafes (outdoor), farms and hopefully starting swimming again soon. I also used to do a few 30 min activities during lockdown to give some structure to the day like put a blanket down and do nursery rhymes, or get sensory stuff out (lights, balls etc), playing with water, messy play, paints, shakers and pans to bang on, things to pop in and out of egg boxes/muffin trays/boxes. Baby club on cbeebies is also my friend! And little one likes "helping" with jobs round the house.

Also, dont get too hung up on naps - it's not a bad skill to be able to nap in the buggy occasionally!

My baby’s swim lessons have just restarted and it’s amazing! We were the only ones there last time so it was a private lesson- great time to start them swimming. We also love The Baby Club programme on CBeebies- get some accessories and play along, they’re only 15mins or so so perfect for doing at home.

Anyone doing mat leave now under lockdown deserves a fcking medal. I simply could not have coped.*

Yes, I’ve thought this plenty a time (I’m on special extended leave).

Don’t feel guilty to not do stuff if that’s not you, but try to think wide if you need activity.

Personally I think baby sensory, yoga and massage etc is unnecessary and I did LOADS just to get out and about.

I did get bored of the repetitive convo by month 8, but the classes was a start to my day after which I’d have something else planned.

Are you in London OP? Happy to search for something’s to do?

I loved my mat leave but Christ, it was different to what it would have been in lockdown.

I met friends most days, went to 3 or 4 baby groups a week, went shopping, general housework, cooking, etc. I loved it!

I also went back to work after 5 months though so crammed as much into that time as I could!

No babies here but my two friends did the follow - one wrote TWO flipping novels during mat leave cause her baby napped so much and she was bored senseless - the other started a masters at uni to keep herself occupied.

Then I have others who have struggled to even brush their hair when on mat leave lol - all depends on the baby.

One of my friends is on mat leave now and seems to just do normal life stuff (i.e. not baby focused) except for maybe 1-2 play dates a week which are just an excuse for her to have a glass of wine with another mum whilst the babies are sat on a blanket in their gardens. Sounds lovely to me!

I didn’t go because I felt like we were supposed to, I went for adult conversation and for someone to hold the baby while I had a cup of coffee in peace. Not living in London we sadly aren’t overwhelmed with museums/galleries etc to take babies to

I didn't mention galleries and museums. I was mostly outdoors, on foot, with the pushchair, because I'd had a CS and our nearest tube and overground both had step-only access. And I have no memory at all of anyone else holding my baby at any of the baby massage/yoga/sensory classes I attended -- I think I got a cup of tea at some, which was quite nice.

I did actually write a novel, @Juno231, come to think of it, but I completely rewrote it a couple of years later before it sold.

I appreciate the usual mat leave activities are shut or restricted but with more people wfh do you have friends you could meet in their lunch hr locally for a bite to eat?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers yes that would be ideal but unfortunately all my friends are at least a bus or tube journey away and we haven't been taking public transport. But hopefully it'll start feeling safer again soon