Harmonising whilst singing happy birthday

[NCParanoia]

Caveat: I know there's bigger and worse things going on in the world that I should be annoyed at, but here we are.

Does this make anyone else totally cringe? I have a family member who always harmonises when we sing happy birthday, especially the last bit. I find it so cringey.. its a bit me me me when the point of singing happy birthday is for the birthday person to be in the limelight. Also isn't it something awful we all sing just because we have to, not because we want to?

Am I alone in this? Do you harmonise when singing happy birthday? If so - why?!

(I promise I'm also a happy, fun person who likes to have a good time. I appreciate i sound like a massive birthday grinch)

Oh come off it - it can't be 'so natural that it's difficult not to do it'. I'm pretty musical, have sung in choirs, would be capable of ad libbing harmonies to a familiar tune, and often do so (on my own or at home) when I'm singing along to something that already has harmonies. But I don't do it when singing happy birthday because it's show-offy, cringy and would make me look like an arse!

I’m so glad I found this thread. You’re my people. I wouldn’t be able to contain my laughter if I heard someone to this do this. Surely, half the point it’s to sing happy birthday terribly.

Off to read the toddler rhyme time thread.

I’m mortified for the posters who find it SO hard not to harmonise because they’re SO musical they can’t help it! 😂😂😂

You can’t be that musical if you don’t know how to sing the melody.

And who posted that she was harmonising as a treat for the birthday person?! I’m dying 😂😂😂

I only do it at choir, where it’s expected to harmonise Happy Birthday.

Though I do sing the descants at carol services - I thought that was ok but it seems not. I’d better stop.

Nothing to do with showing off (I dislike limelight and attention) but it feels good to sing, and even better to harmonise.

Harmonizing is the same as being a spoony fucker
It doesn't NEED it you just thought it would improve it and could not believe anyone wouldn't be amazed at your insight

I'm no slouch as a choral singer myself I sang in a couple of decent auditioning choirs at university but I'm not automatically compelled to harmonise when engaging in ritual non-performance singing like 'Happy Birthday' or 'Jerusalem' at weddings.

Harmonizing is the same as being a spoony fucker

Though I do sing the descants at carol services - I thought that was ok but it seems not. I’d better stop

Oh, don't let me rain on your carolling parade, @NotHotPot! It was mostly that the solo descanting woman was going it fortissimo with much warbling and slightly flat in a tiny congregation (it was an English-language service at a tiny church in Switzerland), and was clearly construing the WTF glances as praise for her vocal stylings.

Hardbackwriter I have a child who used to cry when people sang out of tune. It was horribly embarrassing, especially as once they started talking they would tell me why they were so upset.

Fast forward several years, add in an autism diagnosis, and she is now able to tell me that it is actually painful to hear people singing out of tune. She tells me regularly to stop singing (on days when she cannot put up with it any longer). Thankfully now she is older she can pretty much keep it under control in public but she will remove herself where possible from a situation where there is singing which isn’t in tune, because it’s only a matter of time before it becomes too much for her.

Funnily enough her sibling hates having happy birthday sung to him - he even requests at school (where the class usually do a quick rendition in form time) and at his parties that no one sings - because it’s really hard for him too when people sing out of tune (also ASD), but I don’t think he perceives it as painful like his sister (might ask him actually)

I don't warble or scoop. Trained out of me at an early age. I do tweak though, and had no idea until I heard a recording of a small group piece. The other singers were all classically trained, and spot on precise. I unfortunately was doing a teeny slide into some notes. Totally unintentional. I wish the conductor had told me ahead of time. I felt like I'd totally spoiled it. I found the discipline of choir challenging- but that's the point.

Anyway, I'm out- if you are convinced it's about showing off then I can't dissuade you. Think it says more about you than me though, to be honest. Next time you hear someone doing it, just pause a moment before assuming they are showing off.

This thread :) Cheered me right up.

Am going to adopt the third verse at all times now.

I think its just cringey because its very unbritish to draw attention to yourself. If you're in a family or group that does this then no one is standing out. But an outsider would probably find it very embarrassing and tell all their friends what you were all like.
I mean if I went to another family for Christmas and they all sing carols in harmony or got instruments out to play, that would be so far outside my comfort zone. I would be cringing inside out!

I was once at a child's roller disco party and the parents got their skates on and did a choreographed routine. I mean OMG that was awful and I told everyone about it. It was mortifying!!

This is my favourite MN thread for ages, thanks OP
I don't know anyone who harmonises Happy Birthday but now I kind of wish I did just to experience the cringe first hand!

Many people in my family are singers or choral scholars and we sing together in an unrehearsed, everyday sort of way. It's just normal.

I am unaware of ever harmonising on Happy Birthday but I agree it is 100% possible! It could have happened at some point. At Christmas we do sing carols together, sometimes just at the dining table. It's true! We do!

I promise you we are not showing off. There's... no one to show off to when it's normal. Who is the imagined audience.

It just doesn't make sense to me. It's like a whole thread of people going and then they ate TOAST for BREAKFAST. I COULD HAVE DIED. WHO EATS TOAST. You can tell they were just thinking they were AMAZING for heating BREAD like a WIZARD.

Or accidentally letting an Irish dancing step slip in while your dancing in a nightclub.

sorry. But I have done Irish dancing, ballet, tap, modern, jazz, a bit of gymnastics, cheerleading, did to about grade 2 in piano and a bit beyond in flute.

Never, EVER, once, even the tiniest little bit, in any context, under any circumstance have I been dancing in a club and have an Irish dancing step “slip in” while I’m dancing. Nor have I ever accidentally done a time step or a pirouette or felt myself back flipping while bumping and grinding along to R Kelly. Never.

Completely lolling at the thought though

I was the person who admitted to harmonising and asked for some clear explanations why it's the wrong thing to do.

I have read all the replies carefully and have taken them on board. Also, DCs hate me harmonising Happy Birthday so I will definitely stop.

Just a few questions though. Where is the line between making things special for a birthday and showing off? Eg. Buying a really nice present ? (Showing off your wealth)Wrapping a present nicely? (Showing off your dexterity/aesthetics )Making a cake at home? (showing off your cooking skills?)Singing enthusiastically? (Showing off your singing skills) Why is the last one particularly narcissistic ?

Also would like to say that it's a fact (not made up as defence) that as an alto I have more or less never been given or been able to sing the melody. It's a musical fact that only a narrow range of voices can properly sing Happy Birthday.

When Jamie Oliver's children have a birthday does he insist they buy a Betty Crocker cake mix in case anything else is 'showing off?'

Where is the line between making things special for a birthday and showing off? Eg. Buying a really nice present ? (Showing off your wealth)Wrapping a present nicely? (Showing off your dexterity/aesthetics )Making a cake at home? (showing off your cooking skills?)Singing enthusiastically? (Showing off your singing skills) Why is the last one particularly narcissistic?

All those first things are totally normal for a birthday. The last is abnormal because no one expects you to do it or thinks you should.

If you wrapped a present the did an interpretive dance delivering it to the birthday girl and a dramatic reading of their birthday wishes people would think you were equally as attention seeking

Now I feel like I did on the sea monkeys thread, except this time I'm the one earnestly telling people to humanely euthanise them with blunt force trauma.

I can't help but harmonise along to old Macdonald - only when there's only my toddler and my OH in the house though, I do have some self control.

You should hear my choir sing it 😁 it was even more interesting on zoom!

Loving the defensive posts from harmonisers! I'm picturing families blowing one of those "tune pipe" things to get the right key.

Luckily my family opt for the standard awkward drone that upsets young children.

If you wrapped a present the did an interpretive dance delivering it to the birthday girl and a dramatic reading of their birthday wishes people would think you were equally as attention seeking*

That's a bit of a weird response because all I said was I wonder why harmonising one line of HB is narcissistic ? Especially as:

1. For the vast majority of singers this is the 'normal' way to sing
2. There are so many other special things you can do to show a birthday person that you have put extra thought into their birthday eg. Spent money, decorated the house, made an extra special cake. Why is singing in particular more narcissistic than any other extra effort?

Amazing thread op

This thread is hilarious thanks OP!

We try to sing it as badly as humanly possible 😂

What's not to get? You're performing in a situation that is not about performing, or even about singing, it's just making a collective noise to say Happy Birthday.