Harmonising whilst singing happy birthday

[NCParanoia]

Caveat: I know there's bigger and worse things going on in the world that I should be annoyed at, but here we are.

Does this make anyone else totally cringe? I have a family member who always harmonises when we sing happy birthday, especially the last bit. I find it so cringey.. its a bit me me me when the point of singing happy birthday is for the birthday person to be in the limelight. Also isn't it something awful we all sing just because we have to, not because we want to?

Am I alone in this? Do you harmonise when singing happy birthday? If so - why?!

(I promise I'm also a happy, fun person who likes to have a good time. I appreciate i sound like a massive birthday grinch)

My husband does this, and much as I love the bones of him, it makes me want to shove him out the window. Maybe I should tell him it makes him look like a wanker?

It also makes it hard for me to sing the melody, which pisses me off. The song's crap enough without someone making you lose the tune.

Pretty sure Justin Bieber wrote the third verse.

From someone who is absolutely not doing it to show off, to grab attention or anything else else- bloody hell you are a hard crowd! I'm not saying there aren't any wanky show offs who do it, but that's a harsh assumption to make!

It's as natural as breathing- I'd have to really concentrate and try hard not to.
Shit. That's every bloody birthday party I've ever been to, wondering if they all think like you lot! Is it regional? Have I been offending the English for the last 30 years? Is it people who don't 'do' music apart from singing along to the radio? Even my tone deaf husband gives 'happy birthday' his all!

@picklemewalnuts

From someone who is absolutely not doing it to show off, to grab attention or anything else else- bloody hell you are a hard crowd! I'm not saying there aren't any wanky show offs who do it, but that's a harsh assumption to make!

It's as natural as breathing- I'd have to really concentrate and try hard not to.
Shit. That's every bloody birthday party I've ever been to, wondering if they all think like you lot! Is it regional? Have I been offending the English for the last 30 years? Is it people who don't 'do' music apart from singing along to the radio? Even my tone deaf husband gives 'happy birthday' his all!

I'd say it's on a similar level to farting in the middle of it. Everybody is too polite to actually say anything, but we're all still dying inside.

@SkepticalCat

This thread reminds of one I read years ago about a mum who used to harmonize at baby/toddler rhyme time. Harmonizing to row, row, row your boat etc

Me too!

My favourite post was the description of the DH who used to "bim bom" the bass notes.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2124697-to-sing-harmonies-in-toddler-music-sessions

Have I been offending the English for the last 30 years?
Yes. But at least you know now.
The problem is the harmonising drowns out the sound of everyone else's eyeballs rolling.

My dd does this she is a harmony genius though, and adds all sorts of stuff.
You get the jazz version if we sing to you.

I had to look at the date of that thread to see if it was me they were talking about

I did use to sing harmonies at rhyme time. It kept me occupied until the 30 seconds after it had finished and I could get back to drinking gin.

fuck me I hated all the baby and toddler group shite.

We have a smallish village. Those grousp were totally taken over by a performance parenting Queen Bee called Sarah. Sarah dictated relaitonshios and who spoke to who. I got totally suckered into why no-one seemed to like me (aside from my personaility of course).

Finally DH told me with some rustration that just because all of us had had sex at roughly the same time roughly 9 months before did not mean we had ANYTHING else in common.

Now THAT was the best piece of parenting advice I think I ever got.

Wow, madness. People aren't singing to show off to you, how weird. It's just a nice fun thing to do. It's a basic human thing, to sing together - pretty much every culture does it.

Never encountered this idea before. Why do you sing at all if you hate singing and hate people singing?

The singers aren't showing off. They are celebrating the birthday of someone. The harmonisers though do appear to be. It's about someone else, but they appear not to be able to cope with that.

@picklemewalnuts ite not a regional thing. I am from Scotland and hate attention grabby ''I'm so amazing at singing" happy birthday harmonising tw*ts as well.

@jolokoy

Wow, madness. People aren't singing to show off to you, how weird. It's just a nice fun thing to do. It's a basic human thing, to sing together - pretty much every culture does it.

Never encountered this idea before. Why do you sing at all if you hate singing and hate people singing?

Thank you jolokoy

Believe me, all the focus IS on the Birthday person when we burst into song. We are all harmonising or adding extras, it's really not just one person making it all about them. And you know what, a couple of family members really do have super voices and talent (the rest of us can sing nicely enough) and we don't think they're showing off, it's just fun.

Some of you lot are right miserable gits!

Harmonising while singing Happy Birthday is terrible if the harmoniser is a smug student or wannabe social media star, but completely acceptable if they're a shy, retiring older woman who's been silent at all family events except for when the singing starts, then they belt it out (ideally with a few blunt home truths)

I shall take Quarantino's advice.
As a shy retiring older woman, I shall in future belt out my harmonies and follow them up with some home truths. I hadn't been aware it was a competitive situation and had just been quietly harmonising in the background. Henceforth there will be no stopping me. Anyone who raises an eyebrow will be told they are a joy sponges and should make more effort.

I usually harmonise the last line because it sounds nicer. I don't intend people to particularly notice and it's not meant to make people look at me, i assume no one is listening anyway.
I harmonise to all sorts of songs (alone in the car) and it often happens without me really noticing it intending to. I used to sing alto in a choir and you never get the melody so I'm used to hearing something different in songs and that's what comes out of my mouth. I don't think consciously when I sing, so my brain does it's own thing.
I'm surprised at how many people feel so strongly about it!

Oh god I do this....

I'm an amateur musician - studied music st uni- and just can't help it. I do it without thinking. I harmonise to everything I hear on the radio/ CD playing etc. Sorry!

@GrouchyKiwi

Pretty sure Justin Bieber wrote the third verse.

@GrouchyKiwi

I'd say it's on a similar level to farting in the middle of it. Everybody is too polite to actually say anything, but we're all still dying inside.

Also lol 😂

To me it’s the equivalent of someone who speaks foreign languages, pronouncing words borrowed from that language, or cities from the country the language belongs to, with the accent of that country. It sounds pretentious and like you are showing off.
The place we rented in Firenze had a marvellous jacutzi, it was so much better than the hell hole in Roma!

I love, love, love the US version of the Office. And Michael Scott does this when they have an office birthday.
Makes me laugh everytime

@LightDrizzle

To me it’s the equivalent of someone who speaks foreign languages, pronouncing words borrowed from that language, or cities from the country the language belongs to, with the accent of that country. It sounds pretentious and like you are showing off. The place we rented in Firenze had a marvellous jacutzi, it was so much better than the hell hole in Roma!

Whereas it's actually more like a German/English bi lingual person using the pronunciation from their other language. Referring to, say, Köln when speaking in English. Entirely instinctive, with no underlying intention whatsoever.

I have never seen anyone doing this in real life but I'm afraid I'm crying with laughter at the mere thought of it...!

Oh yes LightDrizzle I've met some choritho wankers in my time too

In my family we always harmonise Happy Birthday at birthday parties. If one of us takes the alto line, others will sing soprano etc. We're not doing it to show off. Harmonising is just natural and livens up a pretty dull and awful song. Noone bats an eyelid and the attention remains on the birthday boy or girl.

I can understand why someone would harmonise along to toddler rhymes, to make them a bit more bearable.

In our family Christmas gatherings, after dinner we each grab an instrument and play carols. Again, just something we do as a musical family, no one is showing off,we're just enjoying ourselves.