Clothes for teens - how much?

[Mintychoc1]

I’m a single parent with no financial help from elsewhere, but I earn a good salary (about £45k) so we’re comfortable. We have holidays etc. I have 2 DSs age 11 and 14, both into football so lots of money spent on kit, season tickets and so on. I don’t drink or smoke or eat out.

DS is turning 15 soon and said he’d like some clothes for his birthday. All fine till I saw the prices - £135 for a pair of trainers, £70 for a hoodie! He wears school uniform all week and football kit for most of the weekend, so would rarely wear these clothes. But he tells me this is what all his friends have. And they’re all normal families, none are particularly rich.

Am I out of touch? Is this normal? I can’t bring myself to pay money like that!!

My 15 year old boy is the same.

At Xmas he only wanted clothes & PlayStation games.
It made me sad inside thinking of the xmas’s where he would get bob the builder toys or shark stuff etc.

Now it’s all expensive clobber!

I did buy him it though I must admit. Not rich but I wanted him to get what he asked for.

We are average income and no I would not be paying that much. But I would give him some money towards clothes, so he can save up. Or I’d maybe just say yes to the hoodie.

What would your normal budget be for birthdays? And what would be his usual level of spending on clothes? Maybe tell him he has x amount as a birthday budget and ask him to prioritise his choices, say, £100. If the hoody is worth 70% of his birthday gifts, or the trainers are worth all of the birthday money plus some of his allowance/ pocket money, then he will prioritise them but maybe he'll have a rethink when he sees that the birthday budget isn't limitless.

Ds wears clothes from Primark although he does have some Nike stuff from Sports Direct. That’s because he prefers to have birthday/Christmas/pocket money spent on music equipment & tech.

Dd gets a clothing allowance of £10 a week. She can buy designer stuff if she wants to but mostly doesn’t.

He doesn’t get an allowance but he doesn’t go short. He gets money for getting good grades (bright but lazy, needs to motivate himself!), and at birthdays/Christmas he gets gifts and cash (usually around £300 of gifts and £150 cash). He’s hopeless with money, never saves it, spends it instantly on Xbox stuff.
I think I’ll give him money, and he can decide if he wants expensive clothes so much that it’s worth blowing it all.

I would do one item as a gift and start him on an allowance so he learns about saving for these things.

My sister has three DDs and her rule was that she would pay for the basic item and if the girls wanted branded stuff they would have to save up the difference. It taught them fast to value what they bought, care for them and think hard if they really need jeans no. 5

My DS was the same and in football kit all the time. He wasn’t especially in to branded clothes but I think many are. He does like branded trainers though.

That is a lot. My dd is turning 17 this week and is getting £50 for her birthday! She will get another £50 from her grandparents and her dad will probably give her £50-70ish. Then it’s up to her what she spends it on. Oddly enough her and her friends are really into charity shops! They hate waste and want to reuse everything. They’d be horrified if I got her a hoodie for £100 plus but I completely understand it’s different in different social circles etc!

I’ve agreed with DS I’ll pay up to £80 for trainers and if he wants something fancy he’ll have to pay the rest.

It’s good to make them have some “skin in the game“ so they have to make choices about budgeting.