Anyone else lonely and want to chat?

[Ijustneed]

Feeling pretty lonely at the moment. I suffer with anxiety, so struggle to get out and make friends at the best of times, but lockdown has made it even more difficult.

I moved to the area late last year. Dd19 was home during lockdown, but has since returned to shared uni accommodation. I'm alone with my cats. Recently ended a relationship. The only person I see is my mum once a week. I don't work at the moment, although I hope to change that soon.

Anyone fancy chatting here? Anyone in a similar situation? It would be nice to have someone to talk to.

Thinking of you OP. It's a horrible feeling. I have different circumstances but feel similar, and just really feel a lack of good, close friendships at the moment. Lockdown has amplified it but also made it worse because now social media is full of photos of people out and having a nice time catching up.

@catlovingdoctor I know what you mean.

At the beginning of lockdown I felt ok, it was as if my usual staying at home became normal, but now I would just like to be normal. I used to go to the pub once a week with my exh and friends, I miss that. I know I need to get out and make friends, but it's not easy when I'm fighting anxiety and with the complication of the virus.

Anyway, bed time now, hopefully I'll sleep better. Good night.

@Chels182

I feel lonely too OP - but feel like I shouldn’t.. I live with my bf, 3 cats and our dog but I live in England and my family are in Northern Ireland, lived here 5 years now. I have one close friend from uni, people I work with however distanced myself from one as she was extremely toxic.

My bf has a huge family but he doesn’t really get involved with them or I don’t feel like I could ring them up or anything. He’s a talker and a bit old fashioned so instead of texting he calls and he talks to his friends near enough everyday, meets up with them for bike rides and records music with them etc (that’s his job).

I just feel like I have no one for things like that? My friend has just got a full time job teaching in Sept, so she is super busy atm. I just miss being able to go to go see my nan, or my siblings - we would go out for dinner together nearly every Sunday! My best friends are also back home!

Now I could easily become a hermit, of course I can text my family and friends but it’s not the same and everyone has their own lives. If I was home right now I’d pop to my parents for sunday dinner.

We have a plan to move to N.I but I feel like it might not happen and I don’t know what I’d do then. I guess I’m homesick and it’s making me feel horribly lonely. Plus I have anxiety too and I am an introvert but I feel moving here has made me worse! I used to be so outgoing, If that even makes any sense.

I’m from NI too and now live in Manchester. I’m happy to chat about random crap if you fancy it!

Wow, well done OP, I'm so pleased for you that you've arranged a wee coffee and a chat.

Even if it doesn't turn in to a "best friends forever" situation, it's someone different to chat to and a change of routine.

You sound so nice - actually everyone on this thread is lovely - I feel like us solitary wee souls have made some virtual pals anyway!

Thanks @CarrieMoonbeams I feel like we've made some friends here too. It would be nice to continue chatting. It's good to hear how you all cope and what hobbies you have.

I'll be a nervous wreck tomorrow, but I'll go. I'm already panicking about where to park, timing, whether I need cash etc, but that's always a problem for me. I plan meticulously. Hopefully she's nice and we'll have something to talk about.

Morning, OP. Hope the sun is shining where you are. Don't worry, I panic about turning up on time and parking as well. I have been known to arrive an hour early for hospital appointments. My family think I'm mad. Give yourself plenty of time and you should feel calmer. If you have photos of your cats on your phone they are always a good talking point, Covid19 should give you plenty to talk about as well! Ask plenty of questions, most people like to talk about themselves. Keep smiling and let us know how you get on.

Have a nice meet-up today. It’s great just to get a change of scenery. What’s the group - is it just a general ‘meet-up’ or is it around a hobby or interest?

Thanks @mrswhiplington. Not just me then! Often I can't sleep the night before I'm due to go somewhere because I'm planning the journey and the conversation in my head all night. I hate anxiety! But I did manage to sleep, although it took me a while to fall asleep.

Thre sun's shining, hope it stays that way. I think thunderstorms are forecast for the next few days, hopefully not while I'm out.

I'm going to try to plan to do a few things each day to try and motivate myself. Today I'm going to go for coffee including a walk, I'm going to hoover, read and do some word searches.

What's everyone got planned for today? Hope you all slept well. @SerenityNowwwww how's your back today?

I find it hard to sleep the night before anything - I’m a nightmare! I think I’m going to miss my train or sleep through the alarm...

I am one way or the other - either organised like the d-day landings or ‘lets jump in the car car and see where we end up’. As long I have a picnic I’m fine...

Still a bit stiff and achey today - waking around like Frankenstein a monster! At least I have this week off work so I can be mobile or flat on my back when needed.

Hi @Ijustneed, how did your coffee meetup go? I was thinking about you.

I'm beginning to think we're actually sisters 😂 - if I'm going somewhere new I have to work out in advance where I'm going to park, what I'm going to wear, and I also have to leave the house in plenty of time (i. e. WAAAAAY too early!). Funnily enough it's a comfort thing for me though, it just makes me feel better if I have it all planned out in my head and then I can sleep soundly.

In fact Serenity (sorry, don't know how to bold your name) must be a relation too, because I'm another one who worries about missing a flight, a train etc, even though I've never ever done that!

Hope everyone had a nice day today. DH and I are in the middle of a rather massive Spring clean. I know it's a bit late for Spring but I've got to be in the mood! 🤣 I then had a splendid nap on the settee with the snooker on the telly in the background, that clicking is very soothing!

What did everyone else do?

Nope, never missed a flight or train. I’ve known people who have and they seem not the be particularly bothered!

@CarrieMoonbeams thanks for asking, I had a lovely time! Two very nice people and felt very at home chatting with them. I've only just got home! We're meeting again next week and I'm going to park somewhere where I can leave the car for longer so that we can have fish and chips as well. I'm so glad I went. Everything went to plan and I got there dot on time.
Now I'm going to get some dinner and watch TV.

Both my daughters rang me this morning which was lovely ❤

Hope you're all ok. Spring cleaning sounds like a good idea. I keep doing a bit too.

@Ijustneed, that's fantastic, I'm so happy for you!

You must be really proud of yourself too, it probably felt quite daunting, but you did it!

Just seen your update OP. So glad your meet-up went well. Hopefully things will feel easier next time. We've just got back from an Italian restaurant. Decided to take advantage of Eat Out to Help Out scheme. Can't really afford to do stuff like that very often. It was lovely. Hope everyone else had a good day too.

Thank you @CarrieMoonbeams and @mrswhiplington . It was just lovely to get out and speak to people.

What's everyone doing today? I may try to do some weeding and SHOULD mow the lawn. I've been putting it off.

Got back from walking the dog about half an hour ago. It was much to warm so we'll be staying at home today trying to keep cool. Just enjoying a morning coffee and MNing. Might venture into the garden if it clouds over a bit. I have plenty to do in the house but can't be bothered right now, it can all wait til another day.

Hi @Ijustneed that's great news, so glad you had a lovely day! Glad you are feeling better about things.

I've just been gardening, it's amazing how fast things are growing isn't it? After lunch I'm having a shopping afternoon with DD to get stuff for uni, hope the rain/storms keep off. Nice to hear about your DD phone calls too.

Yes @CarrieMoonbeams everyone here does sound so nice, I'm glad Ijustneed has got a good response.

Thanks @shadypines . Have fun shopping for uni stuff! It's amazing how much they need! I ended up buying dd one of those unikits last year, it did have just about most things she needed, but everything was very poor quality. Is your dd going to be in halls? Have you seen the accommodation? Dd decided quite late where to go and we didn't go to see the uni (mainly due to anxiety on both our parts). Unfortunately the accommodation she ended up in was very quiet and she didn't make many friends, so she's happy to be renting a private flat with her friend this year.

It's lovely that so many people have responded to this thread, it's really helped me.

It's a pretty wet day here so I'm going to read my book while inhaling the aroma of damp dog

Still got loads of Spring cleaning to do really, but it too can wait for another day, I have declared today as a day off in the Moonbeams household.

Think I'll look to see if I can find an old episode of Inspector Morse on this afternoon. Bliss!

You sound so much happier today @Ijustneed, and a wee plump stranger on the Internet (me!) is genuinely really chuffed for you.

That sounds lovely carrie ! I even miss the aroma of wet dog!

What are you reading at the moment?

It's still sunny here at the moment, not sure when the rain and thunderstorms are due to reach us. Ds was camping in the lake district last night and said they had spectacular storms.

and a wee plump stranger on the Internet (me!) is genuinely really chuffed for you. ha ha that is sweet.

thanks Ijustneed yes we have seen the accommodation and it looks very nice but my main concern is that I hope there are some nice people to share with , she is a lovely girl (if I say so myself!) but has always struggled to make nice friends. I'll be a nervous wreck when she goes!

Have a lovely day everyone

The wee plump stranger made me think of Susan calman- in the nicest possible way, as I adore her!

Yes, I hope your dd meets nice people. My dd is lovely, she's made one good friend who is equally lovely, but she found it hard to socialise due to anxiety.

Wet dog's a lovely smell isn't it? It's just the smell of a good walk and clean warm fur.

I nearly got (accidentally) shredded by the cat a few minutes ago so I think the most productive I'll be today is getting the nail clippers out and giving her a quick manicure and pedicure. Phew, it's all go here! 🤣

Enjoy the sunshine, hopefully you'll be lucky and avoid the rain while you do a bit of gardening. I did a bit the other day - we only have a small garden but I don't want to push myself too hard ya know?! Anyway I did even less than I intended because I spent ages just sitting on the path watching the bees, they're so cute.

Hope DS stays dry in the Lake District too! I love that area, it's beautiful. Keswick is one of my favourite places.

Shadypines, that sounds like an exciting afternoon! I didn't go to Uni myself but I bet they need loads of stuff right enough.

And Mrswhiplington, I think I read earlier that you have a Lurcher? I had one too, Morse was his name (my favourite TV detective!). He was very rough coated, and looked like a big grey scribble with a smile 😍. Lots of people thought he was a Deerhound, but I always said he was much better than that - instead of just having ONE pedigree, he had THREE! (his mixture was greyhound, bearded collie and border collie.) Can't quite bring myself to look at photos of him yet, but he was a brilliant dog. Is yours a smiler too?

Haha, well yeah if you imagine a cross between Susan Calman and Shirley Temple, that's me! 🤣

I love watching the bees. When I sit in my patio I can hear them buzzing in the fuchsia and borage nearby. I'm a terrible gardener, only do the bare minimum. I did have 3 tomatoes for tea last night that I've grown though - and very nice they were!

You sound lovely! Susan calman AND Shirley Temple... a great combination.

I've never watched Morse, maybe I should?

I need to clip the cat's claws too, been putting it off because it's such a struggle.