Mine are all Lancashire ones, well I think they are, they come from my childhood, from my Mum or Grandma and sadly neither are alive to ask. My Great Grandma was Irish, no idea if this has any influence over these.
Don't stand there like one of Lewis's - like a mannequin from John Lewis
It's the way you hold your mouth - it means you are the issue (like when trying to get a lid off a jar and you can't do it but someone else does it easily)
A midge's doofa - move something a teeny amount, a midge's penis length 
You make a better door than a window - I can't see through you (usually when two people sat down are talking and someone stands in between them)
You're never lost with a tongue in your head - you can always get directions
Nice weather (when it's raining, got to pause here waiting for surprise look on someone's face) for ducks, is the punchline
We had one but the leg fell off - when you butt into a conversation and expect to be filled in and that is all they give as a catch up
Each to their own said the farmer as he kissed his donkey's ass
Some people's taste is in their mouths - no taste in clothes/furnishings
I'll knock you into the middle of next week - I'll hit you so hard you will time travel