Daft as a brush, and other very British sayings

[GypsyRoseGarden]

Reading another thread, a poster mentioned “daft as a brush” which made me smile - it’s so very British - expressive but not vindictive

Another saying I like is “completely trollied” for so very drunk that they can’t walk straight

What are your favorite very British sayings ?

My mum used to say "it's a bit black over Will's mother". Surrey via Canada so definitely not peculiar to the Midlands.

Gordon Bennett!

Having a bit of hows your father

Wtf is that all about?

My dad used to call me a dozy duck egg.

Charlie's dead
Every time I hear that I feel mortified all over again - I saw my mum's petticoat showing once and said 'Charlie's dead' and she looked so shocked and worried. Poor Mum, her best friend was called Charlie and was in poor health and I didn't think!

Talking the hind legs off a donkey.

My Spanish friend had never heard of it before, so I translated it literally into Spanish. She told me that the Spanish version is talking the legs off a table.

The Sand Man was coming when it was time for bed.
It's time for the apples and pears another bedtime one.
Jack Frost has been or alternatively the sun has got his hat on.
Love these threads!

Tight as a gnats chuff

@Coldhandscoldheart

You're not wrong, it IS 'All mouth & no trousers!'

Gobby but nothing to back it up/all talk.

Up & down like a whores draws!

Not quite the same, but the background of my childhood...

It's like Blackpool bloody illuminations in here 🤬

As far through as a chip (thin)
Couldn’t find his arse with both hands
As much use as a chocolate fireguard

'Drawers'

Do you think they'll be one about iPhones in years to come?

My mum’s favourite:
“I want” never gets

Where you born in a barn?

My dad used to tell us we were daft brushes, I hadn't heard it for so long and then DS came out with it after spending a few days with my dad, melted my heart! You daft brush!

Like shit off a shovel (moving quickly)

Oh and, that my brother used to charge about "like a bull in a china shop" - I say the same thing now to DS.

Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Make like a tree and leave.
Lit up like Blackpool Illuminations

Longer than a month of Sunday’s

Donkeys years

We also had “as soft as a brush” (as in soft in the head) which actually makes more sense than daft as a brush

Up and down like a whore's drawers, we say. Rhymes nicely!
My DM described people as "up the potty screw jar" which may well have been something she invented..
Blunt knives - you could ride bare-bottomed to London on those! (London is a looong ride)
Load of nonsense all my eye and Betty Martin
Fiddlesticks! Is satisfying to say

She's no better than she should be.

Does my head in trying to work out the literal meaning, but I understand the idiom.

Sooo many, some generally known and some I think unique to my (slightly bonkers) family.

But! This is a good place to see if anyone else has heard of one my mum used to say and I have never come across anywhere else.

If we were reluctant to do something (such as going to bed) and kept delaying and trying to put it off she'd say

"stop hanging the latch"

which I think conjures quite an evocative picture of someone hanging around at the door, saying it's time to leave but not leaving, maybe even lifting the latch but not actually opening the door and going.

I've never heard it anywhere else. Mum was from the Wirral so I don't know if it's a phrase local to there. I suspect that use of local idiom was discouraged by her parents though so she may have picked it up somewhere else.

There are so many good ones for using the toilet:

I'm going to powder my nose
I'm going to spend a penny.

I need to avail myself of the conveniences (I love this one!)

or the slightly more vulgar:
I'm going for a Jimmy (Jimmy Riddle = piddle).

If (something very unlikely) happens, I’ll show my arse in Woollies window