Daft as a brush, and other very British sayings

[GypsyRoseGarden]

Reading another thread, a poster mentioned “daft as a brush” which made me smile - it’s so very British - expressive but not vindictive

Another saying I like is “completely trollied” for so very drunk that they can’t walk straight

What are your favorite very British sayings ?

Not in a month of Sundays - a very long time

When Nelson gets his eye back - in answer to a when question.

Doesn't know if he's coming, going, been or went.

Run up a shutter - in answer to a bored child asking what they can do.

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Too slow to catch a cold

It's nesh out there - meaning freezing cold.

Put your foot in it or open mouth insert foot.

Looks like the wreck of the Hesperus same as looks like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Base over apex - a more polite version of arse over tit.

So sharp he'll cut himself - said about someone's sarcastic wit.

I thought it was as mad as a barrel of badgers.

Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs

@Dramalady52

"Flying low" for an open trouser zip "Sweating cobs" think these are suppose to be cobblestones?? My personal favourite "as cackhanded as a bull handling a musket" one is a bit clumsy 😄

I think "sweating cobs" is more likely to refer to the sort of cob that was a working horse.

‘Round the houses’

‘Not the sharpest’ - love how they even get shortened making them more difficult for ‘furriners’ to understand !

Top drawer
In a jiffy
Keep your hair on
Cream rises
Six and two threes
No better than he ought to be
You won’t get the benefit
Like a tin of milk

@Tartyflette

Steppemum English also used to have 'sennight' for a week (seven nights) but sadly that has been lost. My old french teacher could never get his head round the saying 'I'm feeling under the weather' -- very common but when you think about it, it makes very little sense at all.

'Under the weather' has naval / seafaring origins. If a sailor was feeling sea-sick due to inclement weather they would go to their bed below deck to escape the storm. Ergo, they would be under the weather.

As useless as tits on a bull
Like a bull in a china shop

She has tickets on herself

My American niece loves ‘up the duff’, for pregnant, esp. when uttered in a northern accent - ‘oop the dooff’.

If a knife or scissors are blunt, I’d say “I could ride bare arsed to China on those”

He bats for the other side (gay)

He’s half rice, half chips (bi)

Let’s cut to the chase.

They’re not the sharpest tool in the shed.

@TheOrchidKiller

It's looking a bit black over Bill's mother's.

To mean the sky's gone dark & it looks like rain.

I think it's specific to Notts, maybe Derby? Hadn't heard it elsewhere. (Apologies if anywhereelse in the UK uses it too).

We have "wills mother" for the west in Sussex

“Trunky want a bun?” As a way to ask or imply someone is being nosy.

This came up on a thread here a few months ago and some people had never heard it, but it’s very common where I grew up.

My mam used the expression 'she could talk a glass eye to sleep' meaning that this person could waffle on and on for hours.

All at sixes and sevens

I'm not so green as I'm cabbage looking (not as stupid as I look).

Hurray Henry

As much use as a chocolate teapot

Fur coat, no knickers

Having 'deep pockets' to suggest being mean

Water off a duck's back

Two sandwiches short of a picnic

Up and and down like a tart's knickers.
Face like the backend of a bus.
Dead chuffed.
Bloody cheek.
Fancy a chin wag?
Don't tell porkies!
Give over!

up Yonda - it's 'yonder' which literally means 'far away'.

grew like Topsy is from Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe. A young slave girl called Topsy didn't know where she came from she said 'I just growed*.

@Moonhorse

I'm not so green as I'm cabbage looking (not as stupid as I look).

My mum said that. She was from Liverpool.

'Did you wake up on the wrong side of bed?' Just said to my 3 year old to much bafflement

Short arms, deep pockets - someone tight with money

Face like a slapped arse - having an unhappy look on your face

A Welsh one I use a lot - Ych a fi!

I love daft as a brush and use it often.

Talk the hind leg off a donkey - very talkative person
Long thin streak of pump water - tall thin person
Big girl’s blouse - someone who is a coward or weak
Gordon Bennet- exclamation of annoyance

My husband says 'it's wet as a turfer's knee' when it's raining. I've never heard that one before.

My aunt says 'Robert's your relative' instead of Bob's your uncle which I think might be unique to her...

Oh and my granny used to exclaim 'God's trousers!' when anything surprising happened, sometimes abbreviated to 'strousers!'