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Original poster

Please help can't pass driving test

122 replies

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 14:22

I'm at my wit's end and I just cannot seem to pass the fucking thing. My fourth attempt is tomorrow. I haven't told a single soul I'm doing it, not even my DH. Only my instructor knows.

My only problem, and I really do mean this, is nerves. I get so flustered and so nervous that I panic and make the most ridiculous mistakes. I never, ever do these things in lessons nor when I'm out practising with DH. I'm a completely confident driver but I go utterly to shit in the tests. Things I have tried that haven't worked:

  • Beta blockers
  • Kalms, Rescue Remedy
  • Narrating what I'm doing as I'm doing it
  • Practising - I do a shit tonne of practising
  • Hynotherapy
  • A different instructor
  • Pretending the examiner is a taxi driver

I am all out of ideas. How the fuck can I stop being so nervous during the test? I am a perfectly competent, confident driver in lessons. I go to pieces during the test.

I have always been the same with any practical exam. EG with my piano exams I'd have practised my exam piece for months and know it absolutely back to front and inside out. On exam day I'd cock it up completely!

I'm at my wit's end with this!!

OP posts:
LegoMaus · 04/08/2020 23:12

It took me ten attempts and I truly believe I only passed because the stars lined up. I got a pleasant examiner who obviously liked me and overlooked a couple of minor points that he could have noted. He randomly chose the manoeuvre that I was most confident with. Nobody pulled out in front of me. Nobody crossed the road in front of me. I didn’t encounter any bicycles. The traffic lights didn’t turn red when I was literally on top of them. We didn’t take a route with unclear road markings. Basically you just have to keep attempting it until you hit lucky and nothing goes wrong during your test.

Mrsmchammer · 04/08/2020 23:15

Passed on attempt 3. Had to pull in as I thought I was going to be sick. I talked complete nonsense the whole time to calm myself. The fear is real. I work a job where I face far more frightening things than driving a car so I am usually very measured and I was still a wreck.

All the best for tomorrow OP.

FAQs · 04/08/2020 23:16

Get your shit together, wind your neck in, no other fucker is going to do it for you.

That’s the pep talk I give myself when I’ve got to do something a really can’t face or want to do.

Might be a bit tough though so feel free to modify as appropriate.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Driving & parking
Original poster
FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 23:18

Can't bloody sleep so that's not going to help!

OP posts:
tinkerbellvspredator · 04/08/2020 23:21

Try visualisation. Run through exactly what happens - what the test centre looks, feels, smells like, saying hello to the instructor etc (you already know what all that is like) but in your visualisation you do everything perfectly, you are confident, you are proud of yourself that you've handled it all so well. Keep running through the scenario in your imagination in as much detail as possible, reinforcing this version where you are great.

Also on the day you need to tell your brain that the adrenalin is good, it's because you are excited, it will make your reflexes faster, your brain work quicker, more oxygen to your lungs. Every time you slip into thinking you're scared repeat in your head (and out loud if possible) that you are excited and this is good. Scientifically proven technique.

ilovesooty · 05/08/2020 01:57

@LegoMaus

It took me ten attempts and I truly believe I only passed because the stars lined up. I got a pleasant examiner who obviously liked me and overlooked a couple of minor points that he could have noted. He randomly chose the manoeuvre that I was most confident with. Nobody pulled out in front of me. Nobody crossed the road in front of me. I didn’t encounter any bicycles. The traffic lights didn’t turn red when I was literally on top of them. We didn’t take a route with unclear road markings. Basically you just have to keep attempting it until you hit lucky and nothing goes wrong during your test.
I could have written that. I was paralysed with nerves the first few times and passed on the 11th attempt. I passed at one of the most difficult test centres in the country, and I certainly drove better on the two previous tests that I failed. One day your luck just comes together.
FraughtwithGin · 05/08/2020 02:13

I failed my first test because I had only been driving for 3 months and it was far too soon.
I failed my second test because I took it in my mother's car, which was "not posh" and the examiner didn't "like" it.
I passed my third test in my mother's car, barefoot, on a very hot day. The only comment was that I should look in my rearview mirror a little more.
The next day I we were off on holiday in the afternoon and my mother had a hair appointment, which I drove her to and was then given several things to do involving the car.
After we got back from holiday I ended up collecting my brother from his school, which is the first time I had ever driven on a motorway - seemed the obvious route to take.
I am certain that once I had mastered the technical side of driving, I was pretty confident with everything else.
That was 44 years ago.
If you can drive the car you will pass the test. Just think of it as giving some incredibly fussy passenger a lift!
Good luck!

Boomerwang · 05/08/2020 04:47

I found the hardest part about the lessons and test was that I was still new to the mechanics of a car so I had that on top of having to look around and predict hazards. I had a lesson before my test in which everything went wrong and I was certain to fail my test, which went very smoothly. I had two or three minors. I think the adrenaline had burnt off by the test.

What helps is getting the mechanics down pat first so you can clear your mind purely for the traffic conditions. If you don't make it this time don't give up. Go for the intensive course.

Allice · 05/08/2020 05:14

I have no advice. I passed my test on my third attempt after an intensive course (my previous attempts had been traditional lots of lessons then local test centre) and I can still remember how terrified I felt, it was 27 years ago!

Good luck, please do let us know how you get on.

Original poster
FrontToBackTree · 05/08/2020 07:17

Shitting myself. Its at 11.

OP posts:
Sweetpea84 · 05/08/2020 07:27

Good luck for today. I passed on my first attempt but I made it clear to the instructor I needed to pass as I was a student nurse and needed to get to my placements. I took rescue remedy as well which must of helped.

My advice would be keep checking your mirrors and try and be as positive as you can easier said than done I know!

MrMeeseekscando · 05/08/2020 07:31

Today may be the day it clicks. Best of luck.
Flowers

RippleEffects · 05/08/2020 07:32

Nerves are a really natural thing. Try not to add guilt to your range of emotions for feeling what is normal on a test day.

Just like some people are hyper and full of energy others far more sedate our level of nerves varies person to person.

Passing the test would be lovely. Like others have said I think the starts have to align.

My mum failed a few times, so did I. My mums theory was that they pass so many people a month. Strict quotas. So following that theory sometimes you've failed before you get in the car, others you'd have to make a major error to fail. One time I failed I thought I'd done okay, the time I passed I thought I'd made a few minors that would mean a fail.

It helped me to think it wasn't all on me, other forces like the quotas were also at play. Luck of the draw kind of thing.

Just keep driving. It isn't a pass/ fail until the examiner talks to you at the end of the test.

Mumsnet will still be here after the test to celebrate, comiserate. No doubt so will your family. This test doesn't represent you. You are the sum of all your parts, driving is one very small element of that. At some stage with your determination you will be independantly driving.

Here's hoping that today is that day.

Startofsomethingnew20 · 05/08/2020 07:33

Hope it goes well op :)

Sassenach85 · 05/08/2020 07:48

Good luck

lobster12 · 05/08/2020 07:53

I agree with some pps that have said it's all down to the examiner. My first examiner was horrid, he ignored me the whole time and just made me feel uneasy, I got him again on my third attempt, I felt so sick, I couldn't concentrate, at the start I pulled off in 2nd gear, I thought I had failed, I don't know how I got through that test, I was so nervous my legs were shaking and when I was parking in to a bay the car was shaking so much cause of my legs. He then told me I had passed!!! I couldn't believe it.

Try and think of the examiner like they are your best mate who you have known for years.

Massive good luck today!

TheTeenageYears · 05/08/2020 08:03

@FrontToBackTree good luck today. I have no words of advice, sorry but wondered when you had received an email to rebook what I'm presuming was a cancelled test between mid March and 22nd July? DS is desperate to book a test but can't until the process opens up to everyone and his instructor has pupils who had tests booked on the first day of cancellations who have heard nothing from the DVSA about rebooking.

Longdistance · 05/08/2020 08:05

I passed 7th time too. I had the same instructor for the first five. Had a break of a year or so and went with someone else. I was very nervous. I passed second time with him.
It will be nerves, just take your time.
Good luck 🍀

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 05/08/2020 08:09

Ah good luck op. I was literally shitting myself the morning of my test, the nerves gave me an awful tummy. I had to take immodium! I passed my test that day, I just wanted to get it over with so I could get back to the security of a toilet!Blush
You don't need to be perfect, just safe. Fingers crossed for you.

savemejebus · 05/08/2020 08:20

Good luck!! X

VanCleefArpels · 05/08/2020 08:29

Hypnotherapy works - I know someone who failed 5 times despite being a good driver due to nerves. 2 sessions of hypnotherapy and they passed 6th time. Coukd have been coincidence etc but for that person it gave them the confidence they needed

Cakestandkitchen · 05/08/2020 08:36

Good luck. When I sat my second test, I positioned my rear view mirror just off so when I checked it, the movement to do that was obvious rather than just lifting my eyes and the tester not seeing it. I kept my window open and also talked myself through the test. Out loud. Passed second time.

Original poster
FrontToBackTree · 05/08/2020 08:39

I've done hypnotherapy...

OP posts:
middleager · 05/08/2020 08:40

I passed on my fifth test. My advice is do not give up. You've got this.

Good luck today.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 05/08/2020 08:45

Best of luck OP