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Please help can't pass driving test

122 replies

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 14:22

I'm at my wit's end and I just cannot seem to pass the fucking thing. My fourth attempt is tomorrow. I haven't told a single soul I'm doing it, not even my DH. Only my instructor knows.

My only problem, and I really do mean this, is nerves. I get so flustered and so nervous that I panic and make the most ridiculous mistakes. I never, ever do these things in lessons nor when I'm out practising with DH. I'm a completely confident driver but I go utterly to shit in the tests. Things I have tried that haven't worked:

  • Beta blockers
  • Kalms, Rescue Remedy
  • Narrating what I'm doing as I'm doing it
  • Practising - I do a shit tonne of practising
  • Hynotherapy
  • A different instructor
  • Pretending the examiner is a taxi driver

I am all out of ideas. How the fuck can I stop being so nervous during the test? I am a perfectly competent, confident driver in lessons. I go to pieces during the test.

I have always been the same with any practical exam. EG with my piano exams I'd have practised my exam piece for months and know it absolutely back to front and inside out. On exam day I'd cock it up completely!

I'm at my wit's end with this!!

OP posts:
J62 · 04/08/2020 15:59

I sympathise as has same problem with nerves when taking test 20 years ago. Passed fifth? time by changing to quieter test centre (Mill Hill instead of Wood Green) first thing on a Saturday morning. Hardly any traffic and a lovely examiner who talked all the way round. I think maybe but that test I had stopped caring about pass or fail, so took the pressure of myself too. Good luck, don't worry and just keep going. I had a friend in same position. She did a week residential course in Wales, then passed x

RNBrie · 04/08/2020 16:03

I failed a lot of times too. I even got pulled over by the police for running a red light during one test. In the end it was just what other people have said, a bit of reverse psychology... convinced myself i'd definitely fail but that one day I'd pass so I would just have to write this off as another fucking failure. Good luck.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 04/08/2020 16:10

My neighbour passed on her 7th attempt because- in her words "I knew I would just fucking fail this one too so I didn't care". Not caring meant she relaxed, relaxing meant she drove well, and she passed.

My best friend passed on her 6th go and says it was because it was the same examiner she'd had for two other tests and she thinks he was sick to death of seeing her and just wanted never to have to sit in a car with her again Grin.

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womaninatightspot · 04/08/2020 16:11

I'd consider an intensive course. I did mines and the test in Aberfeldy, Scotland. There are only two routes and you practice both of them so no surprises. I think it has the highest pass rate in the country.

spacegirl295 · 04/08/2020 16:23

I took 5 attempts to pass. On my final test I sat in the waiting area and said to my instructor "if I don't pass today I'm giving up" and I just had complete acceptance that if I didn't pass that was it. I was suddenly not nervous anymore because I'd just accepted what will be will be, I'd almost gone past the point of caring so just wanted to get the test over with and I drove almost perfectly (one minor) because I simply wasn't bothered enough to be nervous anymore.

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 21:55

I'm absolutely bricking it now despite 3 fucking propanalol. I already can't even remember how to turn on the cocking windscreen wipers

OP posts:
Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 22:01

Google the Superman pose (not the yoga one). Proven to be successful in building confidence

Sassenach85 · 04/08/2020 22:05

I passed on my 6th attempt. The pressure I put on myself was huge coz we couldn’t afford all the tests! My dd was missing out coz I couldn’t drive. I made myself ill. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done apart from PND!! I literally forced myself to do it whilst feeling sick and faint. It was just too much pressure and nerves. On my 6th test I had already decided I would fail. The little voice in my head was still saying try your best but inside I was resigned to fail. Thing is, I had 100% decided Even though this was making me a nervous wreck I would NOT give up. I developed a bit of a “get used to my face mate” attitude by the 6th test. That’s not to say I wasn’t feeling just as nervous I mean being sick, shallow breathing the lot. But hey. The only way to fail is to stop trying Wink

Sassenach85 · 04/08/2020 22:07

I always had one big stupid fail btw, a moment, one thing I did wrong. Sometimes really pedantic things lol.

Simonfromharlow · 04/08/2020 22:12

Failed 5 tests in a manual. Was like you, could drive fine until it came to test. Gave up tried again in a auto and passed first time. Doing the auto took all the thinking away. I may do the manual test at some point but totally happy in auto at the mo.

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 22:18

I'm already in an auto!!!

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rumblingtumtum · 04/08/2020 22:31

As per pp , assume the worst and you'll stop caring! Or have a few months off driving.

I passed on my 7th attempt... and I'm now an emergency services blue light driver!!

After the first 6 tests I thought f*ck it and gave up. I didn't get behind the wheel again for 2 years. I then had a block of 10 lessons and passed on my 7th go.. I was more relaxed because I assumed I would fail.

As per a pp I also went through a red light on a test!!

Nerves are a bastard. Good luck x

thewisp · 04/08/2020 22:31

I took 2mg of diazepam and passed on my third attempt. I would have been on test number 28373 probably without it.

I had the diazepam already, I had two left so took one the day before to check it didn't effect my driving (as whilst it had no noticeable effect on me, I wanted to be sure). Sadly I doubt a GP would prescribe it for this purpose, but maybe worth a chat with them.

Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 22:33

You're not supposed to take diazepam and drive!

Jojobar · 04/08/2020 22:45

On the day of my 3rd test I cried. I had my own car, I desperately wanted to pass. I was so upset my DP said just cancel it (I didn't because I didn't want to waste the money) and that if I didn't pass it didn't matter, I'd just keep going and sooner or later I WOULD pass.

This helped somehow. I was still super nervous, didn't drive perfectly but corrected the mistakes I made. The worst part was it was a really hot day and the examiner said that the Aircon was irritating her contact lenses so turned it off. What with the heat and the stress I was sweating all down my back.

But I passed! That was 4 years ago and it's still one of the best days of my life.

Good luck for tomorrow. Give yourself permission to fail. The worst that will happen is that you fail and have to take another test. It's not the end of the world if that happens.

Oh and eat a banana. Don't know why but it helps a bit.

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 04/08/2020 22:51

I know this might sound a bit Hmm but would voicing your nerves to your examiner help at all do you think?

I’m just wondering because I know that when I feel extremely nervous, I calm down somewhat when I voice it.

Also agree that some exercise before hand may be a good idea!

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 22:57

I obviously won't take diazepam Smile

I just dont know why I'm even nervous. I can just take it again if I fail.

I think I just worry about feeling like an idiot if I make stupid mistakes due to nerves.

OP posts:
liverpoolgal82 · 04/08/2020 22:58

I was exactly the same. Great in lessons but the test I went to pieces. I just kept on and eventually passed on the seventh go. It'll happen eventually. I did the week's intense course on the sixth time - still failed but put in for next test immediately and it happened on the seventh.

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 23:01

I'm actually sitting here in tears at the thought of it, it is utterly pathetic.

OP posts:
BammBamm · 04/08/2020 23:04

OP I am the with same piano exams etc. I was a wreck before my driving test and juddered across the test car park before I managed to pull myself together. Something that has helped me as I've got older, is to put things into perspective. There are no awful consequences for failing and if it takes you 10, 20, 30 attempts, it really doesn't matter. I do think there is quite a bit of luck when it comes to driving tests and you may have just been unlucky. Good luck!

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 23:06

Thank you all for being so nice. DH has got no idea what the matter with me is 🤣

OP posts:
Shinygoldbauble · 04/08/2020 23:06

I failed 3 times due to nerves. I got lucky on the 4th attempt and got a tester who treated me like a person, talked casually to me and put me at ease. I drove around like I was driving a friend and didn't make any mistakes.
I drive a small car and on previous tests felt very ill at ease with a large man sitting so close to me.

CaviarAndCigarettes · 04/08/2020 23:07

OP I'm with you. I failed twice due to nerves and it was pure fluke I passed the third time.

All I can say to reassure you 12 years later is that I am an excellent driver and not at all nervous. I've never had an accident except one time with an inanimate object when I moved from a tiny Ka to a mahusive 7 seater! I had only had it a day 😬

Please breathe, relax. If you feel overwhelmed inform your examiner and if you are in a residential area (don't do it on a dual carriage way) ask if you can safely pull over because you feel nervous and want to calm down. I did this on my driving test and was not penalised. I was shaking with nerves and needed to breathe for a moment. Maybe ask the examiner if that is possible before the test begins?

SuzanneV · 04/08/2020 23:09

I'm not going to tell you how many times I took my test as I have expunged the number from my memory but it was way more than 4! I got there eventually and have been a safe driver for many years. Don't give up!

FrontToBackTree · 04/08/2020 23:10

I can tell you the one thing which would calm my nerves and that is a cigarette. Haven't had one in seven years!

OP posts: