The reality of life living with Covid has just really sunk in this weekend, and I am finding it tough tonight.

[Belleende]

In all the ways that matter I am one of the very fortunate ones. Lovely healthy family, I credibly supportive partner, own our wee house, live in a town I love, reasonable job security.

Like many others, i cancelled every holiday we had planned, I made a makeshift office in our bedroom, I became the simultaneous teacher, employee and parent, I stayed home, made the most of our wee garden. I have worried about how and when I might see my elderly parents again. Like everyone else it was hard but had to be done.

We deliberately chose a life full of simple pleasures rather than luxuries. As lock down has eased I am seeing the new reality and many of the things we counted as simple pleasures just aren't pleasurable any more.

Our local farm re opened and it was pretty joyless, lots of queuing in the sun for ages to get five minutes in the playground and then having to carry DD off kicking and screaming, most of the animals not there, no sandpit, no cafe. Left after an hour.

Today DD had her swimming lessons restart. Her dad wasn't allowed to swim in the empty pool, there was no play time before or after the lesson. She really did nt enjoy it.

Local splash Park just doesn't work, if your kid wanders out they have to queue to get back in, try explaining that to a two year old.

Having spent a bit of time this weekend looking at the research and the global experience, this is it for the foreseeable. We are not going back to anything resembling normal for years. For some reasons, it is the loss of these small things that has affected more than anything else. Perhaps the straw that broke the camels back. Added to the increasing liklihood that schools will not be reopening as normal come September, and the feeling of wi ter looming with few options to do stuff with the kids and I am not liking life right now.

Anyone want to join my pity party?

[BogRollBOGOF]

@bookworm14

The worst thing about this whole shitshow - the restrictions, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the joylessness - is that we’re not even allowed to complain without some sanctimonious twat telling us to stop complaining. For god’s sake, this is an anonymous internet forum - are people not allowed to have a bit of a moan?

The gift I've been given is months of time for unfettered moaning without the usual stuff that keeps me occupied getting in the way

[Rainbowb]

It’s hard not to feel a bit down when things had been looking up a bit but now they seem to have taken a step back. Of course it’s going to have an effect on people’s morale. We’re only human. Living in a permanent state of uncertainty is not healthy and it’s uncertainty about literally everything- job security, health, schooling, seeing family, having freedoms suddenly restricted by the government. How can anyone feel relaxed or happy?

I worked through lockdown which was a saving grace but trying to homeschool my daughter was the most stressful thing I’ve ever had to do since becoming a parent and it came close to ruining the lovely relationship we’ve always had. I feel so sorry for my dd, she normally has play dates throughout the summer and she’s stuck with me instead.

I make a point of going places now as you never know when lockdown may strike again but I have to agree it’s not the same. We’ve managed a restaurant, swimming and the zoo but yesterday we went to one of our favourite local National Trust places for a picnic. The house and gardens were closed but the surrounding parkland was open. Trouble was, the sheep and deer had been roaming uninterrupted for the past few months so there was literally shit everywhere and nowhere to sit. I had thought I was in generally in a pretty robust frame of mind but I just stood and cried. I hadn’t realised how fragile my mental health had become. A few months ago I would have laughed it off and gone back to the carpark to eat. I guess there’s just been too much disappointment lately.

I miss going to the theatre and cinema and being spontaneous. So much. I bloody hate face masks, pictures of rainbows and hearing the phrase “social distancing”. Sorry if that offends anyone but a bit of venting is healthy. We can only make the best of what we have today, be thankful but allow ourselves to mourn what we’ve lost.

[labyrinthloafer]

I also miss the theatre so much

[ssd]

This thread has made me realise why I'm so happy to stay at home just now, I know what I'm doing at home and I don't need to worry about the outside world.

[ssd]

Unfortunately I need to go out to work though.

[Allmyfavouritepeople]

@RosieLemonade

A lot of things people are saying you can’t do you can do? Like you can see your family, you can go out for dinner and drinks, you can go shopping and to the cinema.
Really depressing when people say you can’t be upset about what’s happening if you aren’t dead. There’s a whole lot more to living than being alive.

Not everyone can see their family . My OH hasn't seen hers in over a year and can only see them if we travel for 7 hours then meet in a public place and stay 2 metres apart. We can't go (as planned) to their house or garden.
Having a moan is healthy for your mental health. In all life you are always worse off than someone and better off than someone else, it's okay to acknowledge that.

[Bupkis]

for goodness sake stop moaning.

Bollock that.

Have a moan, vent, whinge and have a cry if you need to ...it's cathartic and it's ok to admit that stuff is shite, whether it's a bit shite or massively shite....it's ok.

Today I cried about 2 things. I held it in all day, because I didn't want to cry in front of the kids. One was about a photo that popped up on Facebook memories of a camping trip we've had for the last few years, but is cancelled this year. The other was seeing a photo on Twitter of a boy hugging his grandma after shielding paused. My mum died suddenly in June, my son hadn't seen her since the week before lockdown, he adored her, we all saw each other a lot before lockdown. I was so overwhelmingly happy for the people in that photo, and so overwhelmingly sad that ds wouldn't get that reunion.

Both things made me cry, the big and the small. It's really hard...this last few days has been a real uphill slog, and has made me really miss some of the old normal. I fucking hate this new normal.

[Belleende]

@Bupkis that is heartbreaking. Big hugs to you and your son x

[StealthPolarBear]

"
Yesterday 17:29RosieLemonade

A lot of things people are saying you can’t do you can do? Like you can see your family,"
Yes but we can meet up indoors, more than two households yet I don't think, based on replies on this thread. That's what I miss, seeing my parents, aunt and uncle, cousins and theit families

[wentawaycameback]

@bookworm14 - This is the first time I have been called a sanctimonious twat on Mums Net (or in real life). Thank you - gave me a good laugh.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

There is more to living than being alive. However we are in the middle of a pandemic, some people are really suffering - why is it okay to complain that your favourite cafe or that your local, favourite attraction just arn't the same - and that this is a huge problem. It isnt a huge problem - for goodness sake stop moaning.

No. That's 2 years of therapy wasted. I can't sleep. I don't want to eat. I'm constantly having flashbacks to something which should be long laid to rest (and was until bloody masks dragged it back to the surface). My kids are suffering and my marriage is suffering. The list of places I can't go (given I'm not a functioning person in a mask) is getting longer by the day.

I'm trying to fight how I feel, reminding myself of what I've survived in the past (not hard given it's virtually constantly replaying in my head) but right now moaning about how shit things are is one of the few things keeping me "sane". The alternative (acceptance) is not something I feel I can live right now.

[bloodywhitecat]

But it's the little things like not being able to go out and have a coffee at a coffee shop with friends that is making the whole situation we are in all the harder to bear. I am at breaking point right now and if I go out to see friends not one of them could give me a hug if I cry which I am likely to do.

[ssd]

There's nothing wrong with moaning or feelings of despair. It's natural. Please remember to be kind to yourself and accept your feelings as perfectly reasonable.
It won't always be like this.
This too shall pass.
Just keep on keeping on.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

I sat down in the street today and had a bit of a weep. We were doing a long bike ride and hadn't packed anywhere near enough food, forgetting and thinking we'd be able to pick something up. Every single place was shut. Cafes, pubs , snack places. I was tired and hungry and in pain - I'm awaiting indefinitely delayed surgery and it just suddenly seemed shit again.


There will be bad days and good days.

[jessstan2]

@OhYouBadBadKitten

I sat down in the street today and had a bit of a weep. We were doing a long bike ride and hadn't packed anywhere near enough food, forgetting and thinking we'd be able to pick something up. Every single place was shut. Cafes, pubs , snack places. I was tired and hungry and in pain - I'm awaiting indefinitely delayed surgery and it just suddenly seemed shit again.

There will be bad days and good days.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go on a long bike ride when you are not well and awaiting surgery.

I hope you feel better now and don't have to wait too long for surgery. It's tough.

[jessstan2]

@Athrawes

I haven't seen my partner since March because he is stuck on the other side of the planet. It's shit.

My son is in the same boat only for longer and goodness knows when they will be able to meet again, she is in America. It is tough.

However he is enjoying working from and being in his own home, says he now thinks he is the person he was always meant to be. I'm not sure I quite understand that, perhaps just as well :-).

I like being on my own at home. It will seem very strange to me to go out 'normally' again.

For those thoroughly fed up, things have been gradually easing for a while, there is light at the end of the tunnel as long as nobody throws all caution to the wind at the first whiff of freedom. Plus we must remember it's only been since March, hardly a lifetime.

[SingToTheSky]

I feel a bit more positive today having tried the gym - it was different but nice and quiet and although it’s time consuming cleaning everything I can adjust my programme and get used to it. It was a little normality at least. I’m still worried about swimming so I’m trying to just focus on the good things. Little by little we will get more of our lives back but it’s absolutely ok to have a moan about it too. Accepting bad feelings is important.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Thank you jess, I am not unwell, just part of me is a bit broken. I don't normally struggle with cycling.
It's ok to have bad days sometimes and it's normal for reality to suddenly hit.

I agree Sing and I'm glad today was better.

[GrumpiestOldWoman]

@OhYouBadBadKitten

Thank you jess, I am not unwell, just part of me is a bit broken. I don't normally struggle with cycling.
It's ok to have bad days sometimes and it's normal for reality to suddenly hit.

I agree Sing and I'm glad today was better.

I'm with you, sometimes a good cry is therapeutic.

[Sarahbeans]

Am not feeling too bad about it at the moment. Whilst the weather has been nice, we've been able to get out and about quite a lot. We live rurally, so the kids have been swimming at a local weir (popular wild swimming place), meet in pub gardens for meals and drinks... that has been easy, book a table, sit at table, they bring everything to you, and have met friends for picnics and the like.

Not really into shopping or cinema so that hasn't bothered me.

But I am dreading winter. At the moment I can manage socialising because I do it all outside, and we've had a good summer. Don't know what I'm going to do in winter though.

[InFiveMins]

Yep it's shit OP. I don't lead an extravagant lifestyle by any means, but we enjoy holidays, meals out, day trips, shopping trips etc. The fun has been sucked out of everything. Went for a meal last night for the first time and it was crap - queuing, told where you can and can't stand, can't leave the table unless for the toilet, food took ages to come because understandably everyone is so stretched.

Shopping is awful, even going for bread and milk is more of a chore than it used to be.

I refuse to accept this "new normal" and am so ready for life to go back to how it was.

[Belleende]

I am not feeling quite so despondent today, but my tolerance levels are low. Off on holiday tomorrow, but keep convincing myself that too will be a bit shit. It is just so unlike me to think like that, I am totally a glass half full person. Hoping a change of scenery will recharge the batteries. Also didn't have to make anyone redundant this week, another big mercy