Never going to buy a house

[Juiceey]

Just that, really. I feel really sad about it.

Me and OH are in our mid thirties and forties and know it's realistically never going to happen for us. We live in Herts and pay a whopping £1500 a month for rent (for a 2 bed house >not envy) and simply can't afford to save for a deposit as well. On top of that we're in an expensive town anyway, a 2 bed house to buy is at least 400k.

It's sad, considering we both earn good money, to know we're in this position. I'm trying to stay positive about it- we're SUPER lucky after years of bad luck (moving every year thanks to landlords selling etc) to be in a secure lovely let- our house is owned by a charity, they will never sell or evict us, and is about 10 times nicer than anything we could ever dream of buying. It's just small but at least we can decorate as we wish and feel really happy here.

(We really can't move away somewhere cheaper. DC are at school, we live smack in the middle of both of our workplaces, I have a grandparent who relies on me etc, not to mention endless friends and family. We couldn't/wouldn't want to live away from our people)

So how do I get over the sadness?

Why have children before you've bought a house?

Op, a quick right move search has shown properties in your county to rent for much much less than you are paying now. They might not be as nice as your house, but you could save £800 a month which would get you a very long way to buying.

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-72122982.html

@2coffeesinbed I bought my first house in January and now with this pandemic going on I'm not sure if I've done the right thing. I'm a single parent and I can't work from home, so if there are any school closures in the future I don't know how or if I'm going to be able to work and pay the bills! At least when I was renting I could get Universal Credit to help with the rent if I lost my job. Now I won't get anything. I'm very nervous.

I do think unfortunately if you have children before you have saved a deposit then you are partly to blame for not being able to afford a house. Every single person I work with owns there own house, most of us are 30 or under. The difference is that no one had children before they’d saved up. 2 adults both saving for their 20s can easily buy something.

Why have children before you've bought a house

I agree with this if buying a house is high on your priorities and something you'd like to do. Obviously not saying everyone should own a house or have the means to before having them, but if it's something you really want then of course it's easier before having children to save.

Yes, even my parents both worked full time in professional careers for 10 years and put off having children through the 1950s before having me so they could buy a house. My father's father did not marry until well into his 30s and had my father when he was 49 because he wanted some financial stability.

6 months is really nothing I you don't like a rental. That's not much of an argument. But buying a house then selling it costs thousands in fees.
Housing benefit also still exists, even for older people. It's a bit dramatic to suggest older people will just be thrown onto the streets willy nilly

6 months is nothing if you are renting but if you need to move because of a job the 6 months might be too long to wait.
If you bought you don’t need to wait. You could rent your place out and move immediately without huge costs of selling and buying.
If you have been there for some time most people can suck up the fees from the increase in equity.

I do think you are naive to think housing benefits covers all rents and certainly in Juiceey’s case it most certainly wouldn’t cover the rent. You only have to watch the Cant Pay We’ll Take It Away programmes to see that if you are younger and with children the council will rehouse you but if you are older then you see old men and women with nowhere to go when they get kicked out. Sometimes through no fault of their own. Ill health can play a part and sometimes just because the landlord wants his house back and they cannot afford current rents or just own/earn too much to qualify for benefits and not quite enough to rent. Or just because they are on benefits.

There are many reasons but renting isn’t all plain sailing.

@Xenia

Yes, even my parents both worked full time in professional careers for 10 years and put off having children through the 1950s before having me so they could buy a house. My father's father did not marry until well into his 30s and had my father when he was 49 because he wanted some financial stability.

But they would have sacrificed being a young family and having more time with grandchildren etc. It all depends on your priorities.

I rent and probably will never buy, unless we get a windfall inheritance or something. It’s frustrating because there’s no return, it’s not secure for retirement and we move more frequently than homeowners.

HOWEVER....
we never have to worry about the boiler or roof or flooding or new carpets or plastering etc. We could relocate to anywhere we wanted for work or family with little fuss. We can try out different areas if we fancy a change for a few years. We don’t have the stress of being repossessed and that effecting our credit for many years. If things go bad for us financially we would only need to hold on a for a few months of notice and then move somewhere cheaper.

I would love to own, I get very envious sometimes (Especially as we can never have a cat!) but then I remind myself of the positives.

I am told that in other countries it’s much more common to rent and the obsession with homeownership doesn’t really exist like it does here?

@Oliversmumsarmy you’re right about the settling in thing....

But anti money laundering laws stop you from buying and selling within 6 months from purchase and some banks are even stricter and say it’s 6 months from Land Registry Title change (which are delayed for months).

You can’t get “permission to let” your property out for 6 months after purchase either.

Annoyingly our lives have completely changed within the last 6 months

But it is what it is - a messed up housing market in an antiquated system

But they would have sacrificed being a young family and having more time with grandchildren etc. It all depends on your priorities.

Absolutely, I find it bizarre how scornful mumsnet is of younger parents and the search for so called financial security, willing to go against health advice and have babies biologically late to achieve this (I appreciate that's not always the central reason for having children later), whereas I'm seen as the irresponsible one for wanting to have children while I am young and healthy and live a long life with them, but I didn't buy until a few years after parenthood (still by the average age). I appreciate we all have different priorities but I don't see how I was any more reckless as a young pregnant woman with limited financial means (sufficient I will added, but didn't yet own) vs a financially stable older woman with a higher risk pregnancy.

@GreyGardens88

I'd rather rent for the rest of my life than move to Birmingham

How rude are you? Where do you live?

@Juiceey I feel bad for you. I know you’ve mentioned the commute but hopping over the border to Bedfordshire would drop the prices dramatically. Yes you’ll be a little further from work/family etc but I think that would be worth it. I think realistically it would be that or waiting until your children leave home and buying a one/two bedroom flat. Don’t give up! Keep saving and who knows what will happen with the markets but at least you’ll have savings for house/retirement/the future.

@noColinleftbehind

Why have children before you've bought a house?

If you are saving to get your first mortgage it does make sense to put off having children as dependents will reduce the amount of money banks are prepared to lend you so you will get a small mortgage.

Sometimes life takes different directions and its a shame others can't see that. I spent much of my early 20s recovering from a serious injury and any wages were spent on extensive therapies to become well (successfully to). I my then bf of a decade left with the last of my savings. I met now DH at 27. He has teen DSS and having had a breakdown and MH crisis he also had no savings and moved across the country for a new start. We then rented and got married to provide some security for DSS. Well by then I was early 30s so we start TTC as I knew I would always regret it if I waited too long for a baby. Now we are getting some traction with savings and DD is 2 but we are not there yet. Its too simplistic to say not to have DC until you have bought a house as fertility may not be infinite but it does mean working that bit harder to get a deposit and making more sacrificed yourself if you are prepared to do that. Many friends had significant financial support from parents paying for weddings, house deposits and renovations but sadly we have not been so lucky despite both sets of parents having the means to do so.

2coffeesinbed

I don’t think the 6 month rule means you can’t sell. It just means your buyer would have to go to certain mortgage lenders.

It is more to do with where someone would get a mortgage rather than a hard and fast rule that you can’t sell.

I have seen a few places go up for sale. Then definitely sold then put back on the market within weeks.

I wouldn't think you couldn’t sell at all.

You probably could afford a house but you're prioritising living in a very expensive area. You can't have it all.

We didn't ever think think we would buy a house either.

We both earn normal amounts, in the low side actually .

We rented in a cheaper area and saved for a 5% deposit and bought a house in a nice area but needed some TLC.

We pay less now than we did when we rented, 5 years ago.

Mrs, yes there are lots of advantages of renting as you point out. My mother's family were never rich enough to buy so they just rented and seemed perfectly happy.

Xenia I am presuming HB covered the rent when they got to retirement.
In ops case it wouldn’t.

Have you looked at flats / apartments, OP?

I don't know whereabouts in Herts you are, but on Rightmove there are lots of 2 bed flats under £300k (and quite a few at £250k, some even £200k) in Watford, Hatfield, Welwyn Garden City, Cheshunt and surrounds.

Perhaps if you do want to get on the housing ladder as an ambition you could move to a cheaper rental for a year whilst saving like mad for a deposit on an apartment to buy? With the money then saved on renting going on a mortgage, you could then move up the housing ladder into a house a few years later if you wanted?

@Bearnecessity your post made me laugh. I'd love to build my own home. Have you seen land prices in south east where planning is granted?!

I think pps are right that it makes sense to put off having children until you are on the housing ladder. Childcare is an enormous expense and you will be in a much poorer position to buy with kids.

Also I moved areas to afford to buy. My ex on the other hand is happier renting in the more expensive area. You have a choice and no one can have everything they want without sacrifices.

They already have children. Too late!

High housing costs are so detrimental to the younger generations.

The average age of FTB is 33 so very likely to already be a parent or wanting to become one soon (if they want kids obvs). People who are having kids are having them later & having less of them.

I read recently that Camden has the lowest fertility rate in the country at 1.05. One reason is the high housing costs. 2 schools have closed because their are just not enough kids.

The thing is, living in a 'naice town' is not living frugally. I'm not saying the price of houses isn't outrageous, but it is a choice for you to live in such an expensive rental area. I bet there are cheaper towns in less desirable areas that are commutable.

For me, we had a choice. We could rent in a nice middle class town and not ever buy or have much disposable income or we could buy in a very deprived area cheap town and have a decent disposable income for travel. Both have good schools. It was an extremely tough decision but still a decision.