God I’m so fucking depressed today. Come and join me for a whinge

[Alltneteabagshavegone]

Ah I’m sick of this BS now. Sick of the kids pissing each other off. Sick of my dd3 fake cry when she wants to get her sister in trouble. Sick of the amount of fucking washing I have because both you get Dds get changed multiple times a day.

Sick of cleaning the same fucking area every day. Sick of visiting the same fucking parks, sick of having to pay a fortune to take the kids some where different. Sick of staying up really late just to claw back some precious alone time with out people talking at me.

I actually feel a smidge better after writing all that

I’m fed up too today. I’m pregnant and overdue. As you’d expect I’m generally uncomfortable and increasingly annoyed that people keep going on about the baby being late as if I have some control over it. Sorry, but the muscles that make my uterus contract and my cervix dilate just aren’t something I can operate at will.

I’ve got a midwife appointment this afternoon which will be shit and mostly centre around pressure to be induced. I don’t want to be induced (even if I’m fed up with being pregnant). I don’t believe the due date the nhs issued me with is right and I don’t want to start a cascade of unnecessary medical intervention based on a particular number of days having passed since the improbable due date they calculated at the 12 week scan. Fine is there is an actual, individual concern about me or the baby (there isn’t: I’m fine and he’s a wriggly little bugger) but I’m not spending possibly days alone (because Covid) on an induction ward (so not technically alone, but surrounded by other women being induced - which is even less appealing than being alone, frankly) while they mess around on the basis of routine guidelines based on population level risks that don’t necessarily apply to me.

Honestly, it’s my 3rd baby and I’ve never felt more like a number/set of categories being passed through a system in my life.

Plus DH is whittering on about all sorts of anxieties he has about missing the birth for childcare reasons. I’m not having unnecessary medical interventions on the basis of his childcare arrangements either. In any case, none of it applies for another week so he can just shut up and stop stressing about it.

In fact, at this point, I’d say that disappearing off on my own like a cat is the best course of action.

@userxx Sorry. If you are having your tea, look away now....

I can't find the plunger and it's starting to overflow when I flush. I may have to stick my arm in.

I just need to say the following:
Bastarding British fucking weather and my little looked forward to camping trip ended in tent (well pegged) actually collapsing.
Then it blew away and we had to chase it... in fucking JULY.
Now back home spending the day putting the camping shit away so my little break has been a day of packing shit, a day of putting up and getting settled, a day of trying to be positive in the fucking wind, and a day of packing up and driving home followed by a day of putting away.
I hate everything. I have worked through the whole lock down in care and just wanted a few days outside In warmish weather chilling.
What’s the point? Life is so dull. Could even afford a modest holiday cottage break but they have all gone except for the bandits flogging their tiny dark cottages for £2500 a week.

As they say misery loves company! Just seems like more and more shit - lost my job (after being offered a promotion from June) - been looking for a new role - applied for over 40 roles - nothing - most of the jobs in my field / level just seem to be CV collecting exercises by the Recruiters!
One role that was going ahead has now been postponed due to COVID. Usual family stresses - better articulated by others - and actually think I’m going a bit crazy with the stress and monotony of my life. Even considering selling everything up and going somewhere remote - mentioned to the family to moaning and more moaning! Arrrggghhh Arrggghhh

@Zaphodsotherheadi just spat my drink out
😁😁😁

@Zaphodsotherhead Have you got a metal coat hanger? They work 👍

I haven't, userxx! I recently moved house and chucked out a load of hangers, those I have left are all plastic.

But, after extensive perusal of past MN threads re toilet blockage, I've just purchased a Luigi's plunger from Amazon. It arrives today. I may update.

Or I may be carried out of the front door and down the hill on a backwash of effluent. We shall see.

Overinvested people who should be doing something productive are waiting for an update, @Zaphodsotherhead. Just saying.

Sorry, sorry! Apologies for lateness and all that...

Well. My Luigi arrived yesterday while I was at work. Today I got it out of the packaging (it looks scarily like a really over-evolved sex toy).

And I plunged, people, I plunged.

There was backwash.

And no noticeable difference.

So I've now done bleach, boiling water, washing up liquid, more bleach, a really really high-tech plunger and it's still not flushing.

Awaiting further instructions...

I don’t even know how to start - most of my adult life has been marred by angry, controlling men who in the end got the upper hand with the help of overstretched and failing children’s social services and the family court. I have been treated horrendously. It’s taken me over two years to finally get the recognition that I was horribly failed by the SS. The years and years of being told I’m unwell/defective/weak/incapable/thoughtless/manipulative/lying/lacking in self awareness/imagining things etc etc including by social workers has finished me off. I’m left anxious over any task I have to complete, any parenting decision I have to make with the 1 child I have left that I see, terrified every time there’s a knock on the door or an unknown number in my phone or an official looking letter. I jump at loud noises. I’m hyper vigilant. I have no trust left in anyone. I’m terrified to ask god help because that was used against me. I’m filled with a mixture of grief and rage and guilt. I feel worthless and whatever I do is pointless because to make their case the SS ignored anything positive or twisted it into a negative. I feel I cannot possibly do anything right. I swing all over the place. I’ve managed to prove that what happened to me was wrong and deeply unfair and THERE IS NO JUSTICE FOR ME. I want to stand in the middle of a field and scream until I cannot scream ahh more but I’m scared if even doing that in case I’m heard and some busy-body calls the police. I feel as if I’m trapped underwater - which was his I felt most days in an abusive relationship, and the SS have made dammed sure I now feel kind that most minutes of every day. I cannot even escape it in my sleep - most nights I dream about it. There is no escape. I will never escape.

@Zaphodsotherhead I stuck the old sweeping brush handle down mine when it blocked up recently-ish & it worked. Have you something long you could try shoving down there?

It doesn't go very far before it goes round the bend lucysmam, if you see what I mean, so I'm not sure that anything rigid will work. My Luigi is plastic and very flexible (it sort of sucks up water and the squirts it out and that's meant to clear it).

I have the day off from work tomorrow. I shall be trying everything, including shoving ferrets down, if Luigi doesn't come through for me in the end.

Just another whinge here.

1. got rejected from my dream Msc course, because 26 years ago -pre-Bologna treaty- my BA degree is not classed as BA hons. Since Hungary signed the Bologna treaty (next year after i got my diploma, of course) it is classed as a BA (hons). I've waited 26 years for this opportunity then life screws me over
2. it's friggin' hot in our apartment, and the closes beaches as 2 hours drive away + they are already jam packed and we have been shielding until now, so won't throw that away for 1 sunny day. But it still sucks.
3. There is a private pool for residents where we live, but as tenants we don't have access to the online reservation form, so we can't go, because it's reservation only. It'll be solved in about a week, but i want to go now!!!
4. Hate the fact that the majority of people are not being responsible adults and thus make this whole limbo a lot longer than it could be.

Whinge over.

Also here to whinge.

Spent hours (and goodness knows how much expense) filling the paddling pool up this morning.

Recommended DDs did not get their hair wet as they get cold and moan.

They decided to anyway, spent less than an hour in the pool before getting cold, moaning a lot, and then went inside.

I also had to go inside to make sure they keep relatively quiet (DH is WFH).

I was looking forward to spending a couple of hours in the sun reading my book

@Zaphodsotherhead I have become an expert at unblocking our old narrow ubend crapper. I have bought a few flashy gizmos but the one thing that never fails me is the cheap old fashioned mop with two black bin bags tied over the mop head and plunge away! It seems to totally fill the space and cause that suction.

Thanks bagpuss!

I live alone. The lovely cheery hugs-and-kisses Italian social culture was keeping me sane and, frankly, well. None of that now, obviously, and nobody to lean on in any sense but myself.

I had no income for about three months due to COVID because I'm a freelancer and all my clients shut down for the duration. Destroyed what financial cushion I had -- I'd only just got properly up and running and I was doing great. Now I have to be peppy and proactive and future-proof my business and all that important shite as well as taking every available bit of work I can handle. I'm already fucking exhausted.

My friends in the UK are so lovely and supportive but many of them think I'm living a really exotic, leisurely life because I'm freelancing in a foreign country, and that filters through in ways I pick up on but can't really say anything about. I love my life here, never intend to leave, but it's not the same as living in some kind of bad romcom script. I'm doing what I love but it's also basically what I CAN do because years out of the workplace blew a hole in my CV. That was a big whinge, sorry, but gosh it was cathartic.

cliffdiver totally with you on the paddling pool thing. Mine always DESPERATELY want it and then lose interest in minutes. Bloody PITA.

I’m sitting in a messy house with two tired grumpy children and a headache. I have a delightful weekly trip to Sainsbury’s to look forward to later. Meh to the lot of it.

Thanks for the update Zaphod good luck with the mop/binbags!

Proper fed up here
I’ve had a stomach bug that started on Wednesday so not eaten since Wednesday lunchtime just sipping water and all I want to do is sleep but it’s too damn hot
My friend was due to be getting married next weekend and my dd was being bridesmaid but it’s now been cancelled for the 2nd time (was originally booked for April) I’m truly gutted and pissed off that you can go to a pub or restaurant and potentially mix with people you don’t know yet you can’t have a small wedding for 30 guests who will mostly be family

Bloke whinge here, it is the sameness followed by more of the same tomorrow!
I have 3 interesting projects to do.
For one I have to sort out the garage first. --Can't be arsed
Fitness, health issues stopping that. No help from hospital/doctor other than "do what you can" and have some more painkillers! Grrrr

History, reading, studying the Stuarts. --Can't concentrate, get to bottom of a page and have forgotten first para.
Tesco and Lidl might be high point of day! Glee