Favourite Harry Potter funny moments or lines

[wanderings]

The series had lots of funny scenes, as well as the dark overall tone. What were your favourite funny scenes in the books, films, or the stage play if you've seen it? Here are some which made me laugh out loud. Some of these scenes feel weirdly topical at the moment.

Order of the Phoenix:

• Professor McGonagall having her lesson inspected by Umbridge. "Obviously I knew you would be inspecting, or I would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom!" Also the scene where Harry is sent to McGonagall. "For heaven's sake, Potter!" she said, straightening her glasses angrily (she had winced horribly when he had used Voldemort's name). "Do you think this is about truth or lies?"

Half Blood Prince: the chapter "The Other Minister", where the minister of magic meets the Muggle prime minister. I think that's one of the funniest scenes in the whole series. "The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."

Deathly Hallows: the scenes with Phineas Nigellus, the snide and pompous Slytherin former head of Hogwarts. He also has some great moments in Order of the Phoenix:
"I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts, but you can't deny he's got style."
"You know, this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so convinced they know everything."

None of the above scenes appeared in the films, only the books. However, one scene in the film of Order of the Phoenix which I think was superb was the one where barefoot Luna Lovegood explains to Harry about the invisible Thestrals.

Also, book 2 isn't a favourite of mine and not one I have revisited much, but there is a line at the beginning to do with Snape looking as though Christmas had been cancelled that makes me chuckle. Especially since Alan said 'and cancel Christmas' when he played the Sheriff of Nottingham in 'Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves'.
And I love the scene in Prisoner Of Azkaban where Hermione looks as if she's going to cast a spell on Draco, then punches him in the nose instead.

@LittleMissNaice

"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbours?"

:o

@Dogsaresomucheasier

I love every word of the books! Harry’s cheek to professor Snape in book 6, every creation of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Lupin magically shooting gun up Peeves’ nose, the whole Snape dressed as Neville’s grandmother boggart scene in the book and the films is priceless.

😂😂😂

"Troll! Troll in the dungeon! Thought you ought to know." (Quirrell collapses in a heap)

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”

"You need your Inner Eye testing, if you ask me"

"Don’t put your wand there, boy!’ roared Moody. ‘What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

"Why is it always me?"

"Mooorrrning" Said as George walks in on Harry and Ginny kissing

Prisoner of Azkaban when Malfoy get his arm broken by Buckbeak; 'he's killed me!' .
That's my fave book/film of the series.

Mrs Weasleys horrified whisper "They'll be killed in their beds" after reading the U-No-Poo sign.

So many great moments already mentioned but I always loved the chap at the Quidditch World Cup who refuses to wear men’s trousers (think he has a womens dress or skirt on) and said ‘I like a healthy breeze around my privates thanks’

Also Kreacher cracks me up! Loved him leading the house elves into battle in the last book!

Favourite scenes that aren't obvious faves:
-Harry doing Aragog's pincers at the Aragog wake. (One of very few moments when DR doesn't act like a plank)

• Everyone spontaneously lifting their wands in a kind of holding-your-lighter/mobile up at a concert kind of way after Dumbledore dies
• Prof Mc calling down the statue things to "do your duty to our school" and then saying to MrsW "I've always wanted to use that spell"
• MrsW, Flitwick etc calling down the protective shield over the school. Nice to see MrsW being effective and cool and not yapping on. (I find the Not my Daughter bit irritating though. Dunno why)

Ginny: I wouldn't go in the kitchen just now, there's a lot of Phlegm around.
Harry: I'll be careful not to slip in it.
("Phlegm" being Fleur, whom Ginny heartily dislikes.)

Fred/George: When I get married, I won't be bothering with any of this nonsense. Everyone can wear what they like, and I'll put a full-body-bind curse on mum until it's over.

The Seven Potters scene.
"Imagine if we're stuck as scrawny, speccy gits for ever."
"Harry, your eyesight really is awful."
"We're terrified. Thirteen of us, against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic."

George (having lost an ear): I feel saint-like; I feel holy. Holey, get it?
Fred: Pathetic! All the ear-related humour in the world, and you go for "holey"!

Would love to have seen Peeves, Ludo Bagman and the SPEW stuff in the films! Love Ron and Harry’s lack of enthusiasm towards SPEW!

I was not a great fan of Dobby at first, and found the film version annoying...
Then I got to bòok 7...
I gasped and cried

I was the wrong age when they came out, 16 for the Philosophers Stone so caught up a few years latee at university and read through books 1-4 within 3 days. It was around the time the films came out. I loved "Harry Potter Day" waiting for my pre-ordered book 5, 6 and 7 to be delivered on lainch day and setting aside the whole day to plough through it. DH tried to pace me but realised quite quickly that it was just better to let me do it in one sitting. My attention span has two setting off or full power.

I loved the first lesson with Snape and Hernione burstjng to give the answer. That was so me at 11

I'm on this beauty at the moment. They are gorgeous versions!

Not a funny one but...

‘After all this time?’

‘Always’

Gets me every time!

And:
‘Certainly not Severus. You must kill me.’
‘Shall I do it now? Or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph?’

"I'm going to bed before you come up with another stupid plan to get us killed. Or worse - expelled!"

Any part with McGonagall and Umbridge (I genuinely believe Umbridge to be one of the greatest literary villains of all time).

"The emotional range of a teaspoon"

"Oh, he's not unbalanced," said Dumbledore quietly. "He's just suffered a severe disappointment."

About Snape on the war path blaming Harry after Sirius escapes.

Dumbledore is really enjoying getting one over the Minister all evening

Elders Worple and Sanguine the vampire always make me laugh too, particularly when Sanguine is eyeing up an group of girls and Worple gives him a pasty instead,
"Sanguine stay here, here, have a pasty"

Obviously that should say eldred ☝️

I LOVE the books. Currently listening to all the audio books again. Stephen Fry reads them all so perfectly.

My fave book is order of the Phoenix. It’s been said already but the scene in Dumbledores office when Harry gets caught by umbrigde and the inquisitorial squad is brilliant.

Favourite characters are Fred and George amd Dumbledore

Oh, also Harry to Professor Trelawney,
H- "and you didn't see that coming?"
PT- "no, as I say it was pitch.."
She eyed him suspiciously

Definitely the emotional range of a teaspoon line.

Also, in the film when they are in the pub drinking butterbeer and slughorn arrives and spills the drinks and says “all hands on deck” - makes me laugh every time!

Simple one but:

Philosophers stone, Harry’s first Christmas at hogwarts and receiving a weasley jumper. The twins running in and inspecting Harry’s jumper noticing it hasn’t got a letter on it

‘Harry’s hasn’t got a letter on it like ours. But we’re not stupid we know we’re called Gred and Forge’

@wanderings

I loved the Apparition Lesson, with Wilkie Twycross and his three D's. "Never mind, never mind," said Twycross, who did not seem to have expected anything better. In fact, I have a party trick to make children think they have Apparated from one end of the room to the other.

What's the party trick?! Please

@wanderings

When Hermione slaps Harry's hand as he tries to look at the Time Turner (Prisoner of Azkaban). Why did JKR give that object such an ordinary name, unlike the "Pensieve", "Veritaserum", "Deluminator"?

In Order of the Phoenix, the sequence where Umbridge was stamping her authority over the school: using magic to separate pupils kissing, tuck their shirts in, Filch hammering the Educational Decrees into the wall, interrogating Snape, who replies in his usual deadpan manner, all to busybody music.

In the Deathly Hallows book, when Harry finds Sirius's bedroom, with the Gryffindor banners, the pictures of motorcycles, and the bikini-clad Muggle girls.

In the book of Order of the Phoenix: Madam Pince shrieking "Chocolate in the library!!! Out, out, out!!!!" and causing Harry and Ginny to be whacked round the head with their own bags.

@SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito I'm glad you remembered the Apparition trick, which I posted elsewhere. For those who haven't read it, here is how to do it:

At your Harry Potter party, lead the kids one at a time into the "classroom", which has a hoop on the floor at one end, and a cushion on the floor at the other. Place the child in the middle of the room, and tell them that they have to jump forwards while saying the three D's: Destination, Determination, Deliberation. Get them to practise this, so you can see how far they jump. Then tell them that when they do it for real, they have to be blindfolded, or they might lose concentration and get Splinched. Blindfold and spin them, lead them to the cushion, and tell them to jump off it, saying the three D's; and they must not peep for a few seconds. When they're allowed to look, they will find that they have Apprarated from one end of the room to the other!

The secret part is: after you blindfold them, someone sneakily moves the cushion to be next to the hoop. When you lead them to the cushion, they think you are taking them to where the cushion was when they saw it. You have to get the cushion moved back to that spot before allowing them to see, so keep telling them not to peep too early, or they'll be Splinched! The children loved this trick.

Thank you!

Don’t put your wand there, boy!’ roared Moody. ‘What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

I say this to my 3 yo he loves HP, I am planning on fostering this love.

Eat slugs, Malfoy.

Mr Dursley in the first book being described as a beetroot with a moustache.