Favourite Harry Potter funny moments or lines

[wanderings]

The series had lots of funny scenes, as well as the dark overall tone. What were your favourite funny scenes in the books, films, or the stage play if you've seen it? Here are some which made me laugh out loud. Some of these scenes feel weirdly topical at the moment.

Order of the Phoenix:

• Professor McGonagall having her lesson inspected by Umbridge. "Obviously I knew you would be inspecting, or I would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom!" Also the scene where Harry is sent to McGonagall. "For heaven's sake, Potter!" she said, straightening her glasses angrily (she had winced horribly when he had used Voldemort's name). "Do you think this is about truth or lies?"

Half Blood Prince: the chapter "The Other Minister", where the minister of magic meets the Muggle prime minister. I think that's one of the funniest scenes in the whole series. "The trouble is, the other side can do magic too, Prime Minister."

Deathly Hallows: the scenes with Phineas Nigellus, the snide and pompous Slytherin former head of Hogwarts. He also has some great moments in Order of the Phoenix:
"I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts, but you can't deny he's got style."
"You know, this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so convinced they know everything."

None of the above scenes appeared in the films, only the books. However, one scene in the film of Order of the Phoenix which I think was superb was the one where barefoot Luna Lovegood explains to Harry about the invisible Thestrals.

Funny enough we have begun our annual "watch every Harry Potter film and make insesant observations about nothing" last night.... We agreed the characterisation of the Dursleys is just so excellent! Their decor, mannerisms are so well done! Vile people!!

"Why, dear boy, we don’t send wizards to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts." — Cornelius Fudge

Ah thanks, reading this thread is just I need after a long, hard day's scrubbing
I'll be back in a bit with a quote when I've got home and put my feet up.

@doadeer It's right about the Dursleys: down to the socks and sandals worn by Vernon in Order of the Phoenix. I usually skip those scenes in the films because I can't stand them, but perhaps I'll watch them again. Do tell what other observations you make! These are all things the filmmakers thought of, but often go unnoticed.

Wanderings I've committed your apparition trick to memory, I'm just waiting for DD to be old enough to get her into HP and then I can do an HP birthday party! Can't wait.

My favourite part of the films is when McGonagall does that spell to make all the statues come alive and protect the school, and then she smiles and says ‘oooh I’ve always wanted to do that spell’. Honestly, Maggie Smith was born for that role. Second favourite film moment is Harry’s spider impression whilst under the influence of felix felicis.

I have many favourite book moments. A recent one has become the comment about Filch punting students across the swamp that Fred and George made in the corridor. It’s my new favourite as I listen to Potterless podcast and the bloke who presents it is American, and he didn’t know punting was a boating term, just thought it was the American football term, so assumed Filch was drop kicking students across a swamp

Harry (to Snape): "There is no need to call me 'sir', Professor."

Oh yes, I laugh out loud every time to that one.

Also, book 2 isn't a favourite of mine and not one I have revisited much, but there is a line at the beginning to do with Snape looking as though Christmas had been cancelled that makes me chuckle.

I don't mean to be rude - Vernon began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.

• yet sadly accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often, Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely.

So many times

he didn’t know punting was a boating term, just thought it was the American football term, so assumed Filch was drop kicking students across a swamp

Oh that's made my day!

@wanderings Where to start?!

A number of our disgruntled comments revolve around:

1. What the hell are the kids wearing? No children have ever dressed like that.
2. Why is Harry so tight with money? He spends so much time at the Wesley's and never contributes despite being minted!!
3. A lot of discussion about the love lives of the teachers
4. A lot about why Harry's eyes are neither green nor look like his mum
5. How does James Potter not have a single family member?
6. Unconvinced Ginny would ditch Dean who becomes rather dishy for Harry
7. Why does Ron in the early books sound like a character from Oliver Twist

I could go on but many are so ridiculous.

Fun fact my next door neighbour is a PA for probably the most famous actor in HP

Peeves!

Especially the scene where Fred and George create hell and then say to Peeves “give her hell for us!”

Shame he was missed out really

Half Blood Prince is absoloutley the best book of the series. I loved Hermione getti g more and more stressed and bedraggled trying to get the potion right. Loved Harry (in the film) under the influence of the Felix Felicis attending Aragog's burial, his little "pincer" hand gestures.

My favourite is when Dumbledore evaporates with the Phoenix and Kingsley says

"You may not like him minister, but you can't deny the mans got style"

When Hermione says to Ron that he's actually had a good idea.

When Delores umbridge says "for now" in response to Dumbledore saying he still has power to decide who stays in Hogwarts property. The way she delivers it is hilarious!

Harry, coming out of the room of requirements after kissing Ginny for the first time, runs into Ron, who says "well? did you do it"

I also love when Harry and Slughorn and Hagrid are at Aragog's funeral and Slughorn does a little impromptu speech... "Farwell, Aragog, king of the arachnids. Your body will decay... but your spirit lingers on.."

And the first one where hermione says "they'll get killed - or worse still - expelled"

I giggle every time!

'Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work.'
👌

Luna Lovegood on the Rotfang Conspiracy, bringing down the Ministry through a combination of Dark magic and gum disease

I don’t think it’s in the book, but I love Malfoy’s line in the second film where Harry and Ron are Polyjuiced up to look like Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy asks why he’s wearing glasses-Malfoy says, ‘I didn’t know you could read!’

I also wish they had included Dudleys progression as a character

When he wanted Harry to come with them in the last book, and said that he would miss him

When Hermione slaps Harry's hand as he tries to look at the Time Turner (Prisoner of Azkaban). Why did JKR give that object such an ordinary name, unlike the "Pensieve", "Veritaserum", "Deluminator"?

In Order of the Phoenix, the sequence where Umbridge was stamping her authority over the school: using magic to separate pupils kissing, tuck their shirts in, Filch hammering the Educational Decrees into the wall, interrogating Snape, who replies in his usual deadpan manner, all to busybody music.

In the Deathly Hallows book, when Harry finds Sirius's bedroom, with the Gryffindor banners, the pictures of motorcycles, and the bikini-clad Muggle girls.

In the book of Order of the Phoenix: Madam Pince shrieking "Chocolate in the library!!! Out, out, out!!!!" and causing Harry and Ginny to be whacked round the head with their own bags.

@SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito I'm glad you remembered the Apparition trick, which I posted elsewhere. For those who haven't read it, here is how to do it:

At your Harry Potter party, lead the kids one at a time into the "classroom", which has a hoop on the floor at one end, and a cushion on the floor at the other. Place the child in the middle of the room, and tell them that they have to jump forwards while saying the three D's: Destination, Determination, Deliberation. Get them to practise this, so you can see how far they jump. Then tell them that when they do it for real, they have to be blindfolded, or they might lose concentration and get Splinched. Blindfold and spin them, lead them to the cushion, and tell them to jump off it, saying the three D's; and they must not peep for a few seconds. When they're allowed to look, they will find that they have Apprarated from one end of the room to the other!

The secret part is: after you blindfold them, someone sneakily moves the cushion to be next to the hoop. When you lead them to the cushion, they think you are taking them to where the cushion was when they saw it. You have to get the cushion moved back to that spot before allowing them to see, so keep telling them not to peep too early, or they'll be Splinched! The children loved this trick.

"Aunt Petunia looked like she had sucked a lemon"

@Appuskidu

I don’t think it’s in the book, but I love Malfoy’s line in the second film where Harry and Ron are Polyjuiced up to look like Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy asks why he’s wearing glasses-Malfoy says, ‘I didn’t know you could read!’

Improvised by Tom Felton, because he couldn't remember his lines!

Sirsamuel amazing bit of trivia. Also shows how the cast well. These kids could really be their characters.

Not my daughter you bitch!
Evokes a cheer from the mog household along with cheers every time we see Neville (we love Neville)

Why, oh why did they exclude the Weasley’s coming through the Dursley’s chimney. That made me giggle so, so much.

Damn!' said Mr Weasley's voice. 'What on earth did they want to block up the fireplace for?'

'They've got an electric fire,' Harry explained.

'Really?' said Mr Weasley's voice excitedly. "Ecklectic, you say? With a plug? Gracious, I must see that.... Let's think ... ouch, Ron!'

Ron's voice now joined the others'.

'What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?'

'Oh no, Ron,' came Fred's voice, very sarcastically. 'No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up.'

'Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here,' said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.

'Boys, boys ... ' said Mr Weasley vaguely. 'I'm trying to think what to do ... Yes ... only way ... Stand back, Harry.'

Harry retreated to the sofa. Uncle Vernon, however, moved forward.

'Wait a moment!' he bellowed at the fire. 'What exactly are you going to -'

BANG.

The electric fire shot across the room as the boarded-up fireplace burst outward, expelling Mr Weasley, Fred, George, and Ron in a cloud of rubble and loose chippings. Aunt Petunia shrieked and fell backward over the coffee table;

I love every word of the books! Harry’s cheek to professor Snape in book 6, every creation of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Lupin magically shooting gun up Peeves’ nose, the whole Snape dressed as Neville’s grandmother boggart scene in the book and the films is priceless.