I knew I was a grown up when ....

[nodtik]

Let me start this off ......

I knew I was a grown up when I realised that I had a range of envelopes from which to choose from 🙈 xxxx

What made you think you'd actually made it to be an actual 'grown up'?

XxxX

 for those who have lost loved ones.

When my husband walked out leaving me with 2 dds. The weight of responsibility for them felt huge. I was truly alone and supporting my mum through bereavement and grieving myself. I don't know how I coped now.

Sitting in front of a judge as he read out my decree nisi.

Sitting in front of the judge over a dozen times due to abusive exH.

Navigating a strange city with 3 young children having had to leave my mum in hospital with a fractured neck then arrange for her and us to get home via ambulance and train respectively. That was probably the most traumatic weekend of my life. I can still see that fall in slow motion and it makes me very emotional. Thankfully she's fine now but I had to look after her and the 3dc pretty much by myself for 5 months.

I always viewed myself as weak and dependent until my husband left. He thought I was and was not impressed that actually I am pretty damn strong.

(NC as very outing)

This thread is a rollercoaster, as PP said.

When buying DD an ice-cream the other day and realising I didn't really want one and could happily go without !

When I arranged fixed rates for the gas and electricity. Felt more mature then than when I got married. It was a fleeting moment though, currently buying a house and it doesn't feel like it's happening to me...

I don't see myself as a 'grown-up'. I see it more as leveling up.
I've dealt with divorce, child illness, serious issues at work, and all sorts of other tricky things. It's a curve towards adulting for me, not just one event.

Though I suspect when my parents aren't around anymore that'll be endgame

A mother said to her toddler after I'd let them go past "Say thank you to the lady." I looked around before realising that "the lady" was me!

Getting my first cheque book was a defining moment but I was an adult in training back then.

For me I think one time that stands out was parking outside the hospital to go and sit with my dying dad. I knew I was an adult then. Then sitting and talking about old times and quietly singing him some of his old favourite songs. That was a special time.

I still don't really feel like a grown up but last week I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to watch Gardener's World. I don't even have a garden. I felt pretty grown up when the alarm went off.

Attending a friend’s husband’s funeral. He was 5 years younger than me.

Bills, bills, bills. Never ending!

When I saw a pair of shoes and thought 'ooh they look comfy ' and bought them.
Then realised that my mum would have bought them too. 😬

When I had to decide what colour ‘gown’ thing my mum was to be buried in.

Maddiemookins

When I got ridiculously excited over my Shark vacuum!! Still love taking it all apart to clean it then putting it all back together again (I'm beyond help)

I felt the undeniable responsibility of needing to know which bin to put out.

I bought my own food to cook. I was 18 or 19 in my first full time job.

My family expected me to deal with ‘the authorities’ on their behalf. I grew up on a council estate in a shithole ex-mining town. I was the first person in my family to set foot in a university, never mind graduate from one.
From my late teens, I was expected to read and reply to ‘official’ letters, fill in forms and deal with solicitors, companies, councils, banks, schools etc etc because I was ‘the clever one’. It was a nuisance at the time, but good preparation for adult life.

What is a range of envelopes? Envelopes of what?

Having a full comversation about how aldi and asda are miles cheaper than sainsburies and tesco...

Getting excited when I do the monthly shop as its one of the few times I get out on my own without DS or DSD. The pleasure I feel in taking my time, comparing prices without the whole "are we done yet? How much longer? I'm Booooooored! HUNGRY MAMMY! " From the DC, or me hissing under my breath in the bread aisle "stop taking your pants off and put those sweets back, your not having them! (DS)! If you winge one more time we won't have a takeout tonight (DS and DSD). For gods sake, you said you wanted to come. No you aren't having three share bags of haribo for yourself. If I'm a horrible stepmum, darling, its only because I care about your teeth and what mum will say when you go back off your head on sugar(DSD)".

Also the level of excitment I feel at an empty laundry basket....

I need help 😂

When my 1mo was in the hospital quite unwell and I had to make the decisions

Sitting by my mums bedside every day, all day for two weeks watching her slowly die. Hardest part of adulting i have ever done

Taking DM to Waitrose and paying for her shopping after DSDad died suddenly. Then taking the groceries home and putting them away for her.

I remember thinking I had always imagined being an adult to be a lot more fun

When my husband left me. I had gone straight from living with my parents to living with him for 17 years. I had never paid a bill, bought insurance or driven on a motorway. That was in 2005.

When I realised that DH was just about to retire and our finances were going to be messy for one year. Double taxation and instead of thinking it will be fine, I went out and found an IFA for us, and when I told DH he said who are you and what have you done with my DW.

When I said if nothing else we need to rewrite our wills, and make sure DS (one and only) isn't screwed for a lot of tax on very little when we die...................

He backed across the room, doing the smile and wave thing.

When we were looking for a pub on holiday to have lunch, I chose the one with the nicest hanging baskets.

When someone (a young guy in his 20s) got up and gave me his seat on a crowded train. I was quietly thinking "hey hey, I've still got it then", and my pal ruined the moment by saying "aww bless, it's because you're so old he thought you were about to fall over!"

When I was the one everyone looked to at work if they needed a safety pin due to a button-popping incident, or for a couple of Paracetamol if anyone had a headache.