Has a bird ever pooed on your head?

[AnneLovesGilbert]

It’s happened to me twice. Twice! It’s not good luck, that’s what people it hasn’t happened to say to people it has happened to. No one I know has ever admitted it’s happened to them.

Three times. Seagulls, always... It's becoming almost predictable!

Not on my head but a seagull once pooed on my fish and chips in Whitby. I'd queued for a very long time for them so DH shared his with me.

On my first date with DH one pooed into my handbag. Looking back at must have been good luck. I had to laugh it off at the time but I was mortified.

Close. It landed on my shoulder.

New coat. I was fuming, little bastard.

Yes, and it was while I was at work

Another time, a bird shat in my coat pocket. I was walking along and went to put my hand in my pocket to keep it warm. Just as my hand was opening my pocket but before it was actually in there, in that nanosecond a fucking bird managed to shit in my pocket.

Twice. Once about 15 years ago when I was in Rye and a sea gull pooped on me. I had a 2 hour car ride home.
The first time must have been about 30 years ago when I was playing netball in the garden. I had just had a bath and my hair was wet. Remember both incidents really clearly.

@CountFosco for your ruined fish and chips

Nice to know I’m not alone, thank you all.

Did anyone think it was good luck or am I right it’s a meaningless platitude?

The second time it went on my head and then ran down my face and trickled onto my scarf. I threw the scarf in the bin, I loved that scarf but it was destroyed.

Yes, as a teen. One pooed on DD's head last week. I've noticed that since then when we're outside and a bird flies over, she mutters "please don't poo please don't poo"
I've noticed she's also started preferring my sun hat to hers probably thinking she would mind less if it were splatted.

I think it's only good luck for your companions who didn't get splattered!

Yes. I was 15 and had been dragged out on a Fun Family Outing.

I sat on Ayr beach in full Goth regalia ('it's NOT just a phase, Mum, GOD') on the hottest day that Scottish summer. I refused to put on sun cream and was determined to be truly miserable all day.

Did I want a cone? No.
Did I want a drink? No.
Did I want fish and chips? You are just ruining my life, you don't understand...

And then a seagull shat spectacularly on top of me.

My brother still cries with laughter when he thinks about it

Yep. Was 18, waiting for a bus home from school by the side of the town shopping centre. Common pigeon. Hated the bastards ever since. Had to sit on bus all the way home with bird shit in my hair.

Having said that, it was eclipsed last year when I was pooed on by a large snake. Don't ask.

A pigeon crapped on my daughters head when she was about 2 and we were in London Victoria train station. I knew if she realised we would of had 6 months of her being terrified of pigeons so I fibbed and said it was just water dripping from the roof as I wiped it out with a babywipe (luckily she still didn't have much in the way of hair). We then went on the tube and she sat on my lap. Back then I would often kiss her head while she sat there - I usually didn't realise I was doing it. I was doing that until my husband said "I wouldn't recommend doing that - you know (mouthing) the poo". Opps.

Once. As a teenager on the way to school. Absolutely mortified.

Not on my head but on a lovely blue wool coat I was wearing. I popped into a newsagents and bought a lottery ticket. I won £10 which paid for the coat to be dry cleaned.

Just the once. I was having a beer in an outside bar in a square in Porto, Portugal. My dh and his mate nearly killed themselves laughing.

Yes, twice. A long time ago a pigeon and more recently a seagull.

Magpiecomplex

Years ago on my shoulder and once right in front of my face. Millimetres away from my nose.

My favourite was when my cockney boss came back from a walk in town and a seagul had got him on his head. He walked in the office and announced "that seafaring bastard just shat right on the bonce"

Yes, in an underground station. One of those rouge pigeons that managed to get in. I was not impressed.

On my lunch break at school, in front of freinds. I managed to wash most of it out in the bathroom and didnt get in to trouble for being late to class

Yes. I was at the duck pond with my youngest and felt something splat on my head. We had to cut our walk short so I could get in the shower. I won £40 on a scratchcard later that day though 👍

In St. Ives a seagull grabbed a sandwich out of my cousin's hand and then shat on her shoe!

Whilst visiting the Taj Mahal about 13 years ago. Everyone said it was lucky but it stank.

On my 21st birthday. I was badly depressed. My now DH then boyfriend took me to the beach. It was drizzling and grey to match my mood. I stepped out of the car and a bucketful of fish stinking sandy seagull shit hit my head and ran down my face and front. From my head down to my feet. Literally . I was retching and gagging. Things didn’t get better for a decade or so

Mine was a pigeon both times. Seagulls seem the biggest villains though. Squawky shitting food thieving bastards.