I’ve got a problem I need to admit, I’m a constant moaner. About everything. Not necessarily weather/news/work, but deeper stuff in my life, once I open up it flows out.
I’m a single mum with no support, very few friends or relatives. The people I do have, I tend to open up to them when we chat because that’s the only opportunity I have to speak to an adult about adult problems.
But, it’s mostly negative as apart from my children I haven’t got anything positive going on and never have.
My life isn’t great, there are a lot of problems and I’m unhappy in general. I’ve tried to get help many times in the past, but nothing works including all the pills and potions they throw at you. I feel like I’m offloading to others too much as if they can fix it, when I know they can’t. It’s just my way of getting it ‘out there’ in a sense.
Some friends seem to be distancing from me. I get it, I’d be fed up of hearing someone complain a lot. I’m not self centred, we talk about other things, including positives, and I make an effort to ask about their lives and help through hard times etc. When it’s ‘my turn’ to talk about my current life, I don’t hear from them for a few days and they change the subject when I do. It’s made me aware I am probably a bad friend.
I don’t expect them to be there for me and help me through hard times, that’s for me alone to get help I know that, but it does take some pressure off my shoulders to open up to someone and I’ve always been hugely grateful when they have offered advice or support in the past, but I’ve probably began to rely on it as escapism too much.
I’m at a loss what to do. I hold back a lot and only talk about serious things that are bothering me to ‘cut down’ on the depressing side, but I have no one really there for me to open up to emotionally and mentally.
Therapy isn’t an option, as ideal as it sounds, I can’t talk to strangers about anything. I tried it once and it was uncomfortable, and the advice I was given didn’t feel right so I didn’t return.
I go for weeks without talking to another adult sometimes, apart from occasional hellos at the school gates, so it gets bottled up and I probably pounce at the first sign of interaction from a friend. (All online never face to face as I don’t like my children being aware)
Has anyone got any tips for me to help me ‘snap out of it’ or accept I just don’t have anyone willing to listen anymore? It’s not a case of ‘change your life if you aren’t happy’ it’s harder than that.
I’ve considered a diary to put everything down on paper I would usually text to friends, but it feels quite ‘dead end’. I feel guilty that I am probably hard work and draining them too or expecting too much, I don’t want sympathy or attention just someone who genuinely cares.
Can anyone relate?