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Original poster

Anyone else feel mildly anxious a lot of the time?

89 replies

WillowSummerSloth · 21/07/2020 14:30

Hi, I'm trying to gauge how normal this is. I'm a very typical, busy mum of 3.i have a fairly high pressure job but I only actually work 3 days. I don't have actual 'anxiety' as it doesn't stop me doing anything. I still work, exercise and love spending time with the kids. But.... I have this underlying mild anxiety. I am never fully relaxed. I worry about work- am I good enough, what do my colleagues think, what if I make a mistake. I think I'd give up work if I could but knowing me I'd feel the same. And about the kids- I'm constantly analysing if they've done enough work, music practice, exercise that day etc.
It's like my mind never stops. I am happy and have a lovely DH. He is so relaxed and content though despite having far more work pressure than me.
I feel I'm not enjoying things as much as I could, like it all might come crashing down at any time.
Is this normal? Is this just the normal mental state of a busy, working mum? I wish I could just throw caution to the wind and drink a bit too much, laugh too loudly and stop caring so much what everyone thinks.
Thanks

OP posts:
Ladywinesalot · 21/07/2020 23:16

Yes I do.
At times it’s crippling, I’m so overwhelmed by my own thoughts I do nothing which adds to my anxiety and feelings of worthlessness.

I really do wonder what it would like to be normal and have a healthy confidence

My mind does not shut up ever

user1471519931 · 21/07/2020 23:17

Yes, same here...now have job uncertainty to add to the mix thanks to covid

rogueantimatter · 21/07/2020 23:18

Yes. I totally get you. This is me too despite not having a busy lifestyle. Do you manage to regularly do something just for fun? Obviously it's very difficult in locktime. Something you enjoy with other people that requires concentration might be helpful. I found going to a choir a great escape from my constant fretting and overthinking. I have serial obsessions. I am currently obsessed with the horrific government we have now and the sickening direction it's taking our country.

jenthehen · 21/07/2020 23:21

I’m exactly the same. I overthink things all the time. Have so many, what if? Moments throughout the day. Never really relax.

Areyouactuallyseriousrightnow · 21/07/2020 23:32

Same OP. Feel like I constantly have low level anxiety, so many things to fret worry or ruminate about.
Every now and then it feels bigger than that, but the thing that concerns me more is that I didn’t used to be like this, sometimes I feel like I don’t recognise Myself anymore

GabrielleChanel · 21/07/2020 23:35

Everyone I have spoken to recently is on low
Dose anti depressants.
I haven't been to the gp about this but am thinking about it
Awesome2020 that is how I feel too
I also have sort of itchy feet like I want to change something major: like emigrate (god knows where as my Dh hasn't even got a job atm) but the thought of doing all the jobs to our house on market fills me with dread

GabrielleChanel · 21/07/2020 23:37

Added to which I have just been eating my feelings for last two years so I don't want to take anything that may induce more weight gain.. 😢🤯

Lurchermom · 21/07/2020 23:38

Sounds silly but do you drink caffeine at all? My DH was really struggling with low level constant anxiety and was ready to go to Drs and be medicated etc. He cut out (well, we both did) ALL caffeine. It's been a total game changer. Almost no anxiety and that daily underlying anxious energy has totally gone. I'd recommend giving up caffeine to everyone!

GabrielleChanel · 21/07/2020 23:43

That is really interesting. Lurcher
I think I would struggle with headaches but maybe worth it

2020wasShocking · 21/07/2020 23:48

Watching

2020wasShocking · 21/07/2020 23:49

That sounded a bit strange 😟 I meant with interest, I’m watching... with interest this thread.

MissClementine · 21/07/2020 23:50

I can very much relate to this thread and with what others are saying. I have serial obsessions too. I go from one thing to the next. I just get through one issue in life and immediately I’m confronted with something new to dwell on or something that took a back seat for a while. I question everything and research everything.
Having children and a house escalates everything for me and the sense of responsibility can be overwhelming. My husband is very relaxed too but understands my thought process is not like his.

Fred578 · 21/07/2020 23:51

Just to add to my previous post... interestingly I deal with highly stressful situations very well, it is the day to day smaller things that I find cause my anxiety to heighten. Things like worrying the kids have watched too much TV, the house isn’t clean enough, things that happened years ago etc

Aldilogue · 21/07/2020 23:54

You are definitely not alone OP.
I often feel the same but have learnt to control it by really trying to relax.
It was affecting my marriage because my husband is the same and he felt uneasy because I was a stress head.
About three months ago I had to go to hospital for an ecg and bloods and they found nothing wrong and told me to reduce my stress levels.
I work, study and have three children and we are in the middle of a global pandemic. I don’t think anything you are feeling is unusual and I don’t think you need AD’s as it doesn’t restrict your life.
You HAVE to make time for yourself whatever it is. If your kids are happy and healthy they’ll be fine.
I think a lot of us massively over parent out of love but it’s unnecessary because most of the time kids are fine, we just think they’re not.
I’m 47 and I feel like I’ve wasted time worrying about stuff that never eventuated.
Go easy on your self and focus on the things in your life are good and stop striving to be perfect.
We all have our faults.

IDidntChoseThePondLife · 22/07/2020 00:03

Do you think it might be hyper-vigilance? ThTs how I feel all the time, and have done since my dd was born 13yrs agi! Always fretting and fearing the worst. Covid has made it worst, and my dd getting a mobile and negotiating her friendships online makes it worst too. I can function normally and am happiest when phones are off and we’re all at home. But Went completely into a pit of doom when dd fell out with friend and work pressure was thru the roof. Anti-d’s made me feel terrible tho so not taking them. Got better without them when work calmed down and got new HRT. We do live very stressful lives - it’s only natural we feel anxious.

CrazyToast · 22/07/2020 00:11

Yes I am the same. Even when I am safe and cosy I dont feel it, always this small underlying anxiety.

newbiee · 22/07/2020 00:19

I'm really similar to you OP - for me, it's like a general underlying stress all the time. People generally think of me as calm and collected, but underneath there's like an almost constant 'buzzing'. That's not quite the right explanation, but it's like I feel calm all the time but simultaneously like everything could spiral at any point. I'd be interested to know how people manage this as I absolutely hate it. I consider quitting my job on a weekly basis to avoid the stress, but I know id just find something else to worry about.

TheStuffedPenguin · 22/07/2020 00:53

@WillowSummerSloth what you are experiencing is mind chatter . We all have it - well at least our minds try to do it . You are not in the here and now . Try looking at some mindfulness in particular You Tube some body scans which will help you to relax .

Userzzz · 22/07/2020 01:18

OP I feel the same way. My DH is very easy going as well and really knows how to relax and enjoy life.
The things you wrote about your work life resonate with me. I started a new job a month ago after coming off mat leave and working from home has made the anxiety worse. Even though my boss has praised me, I feel like the chips will fall any moment and everyone will realize I'm a complete idiot. It's exhausting. I want to be in the moment and enjoy life, I don't know what the answers just, just that I understand how you feel.

managedmis · 22/07/2020 03:30

Same here.

I always find something to worry about - and it's always relative to the situation I.. E if I don't have anything major to worry about I'll panic and start thinking, 'do the kids need their hoodies' when it's 30 degrees in the shade.

I've always been like this but it's far worse since having kids.

managedmis · 22/07/2020 03:34

Yup, i reckon giving up coffee would do it! Ugh

Lurchermom · 22/07/2020 03:49

@GabrielleChanel

That is really interesting. Lurcher I think I would struggle with headaches but maybe worth it
I think I read that caffeine leaves your system within 48 hours so it's actually only a very short period of 'suffering'. It takes a bit longer to not go to caffeine when you have a slump, but now we don't miss it at all. We have Yorkshire decaf tea and can't tell the difference from normal and my DH drinks decaf coffee (we buy whole bean) and also can't notice the difference. We never crave it. Just be careful about compensating with sugar! Also watch out for herbal teas as some also have caffeine.
Lostnameperson · 22/07/2020 11:42

Unfortunately I know that my low level anxiety and over thinking isn’t anything to do with caffeine as I completely cut it out years ago due to heart palpitations.

feelingsomewhatlost · 22/07/2020 12:25

Sounds like generalised anxiety disorder or GAD, I have had it since I was 16! And so have most of the women in my family... it's a pain in the arse, isn't it?

I was on sertraline for a while; I can't say I noticed a difference, but if you think a low dosage of anti-depressants will help then I think it's worth following up. What has helped the most is having regular CBT, journalling and exercising for at least an hour a day, although I appreciate that's bloody hard to do when you're a parent! It's not nice, but it is normal x

BearSoFair · 22/07/2020 13:28

I feel similar. For as long as I can remember I've always had an undercurrent of mild anxiety/unease. It doesn't have a huge impact on my life or stop me doing things but I know it's there. I sometimes joke that if I'm not worried I worry I've forgotten what it is I should be worrying about, but it's not too far from the truth!

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