My 4 year old son is doing my head in

[Nally432]

I have just joined mumsnet and it has really helped me I enjoy it here. However, my son started to go to nursery just before lockdown and he has changed, he doesnt go to the toilet and pee instead he holds it in eventhough he is potty trained, when i take the phone or tv from him he starts to attack me and it is a total nightmare, the naughty corner used to work no he refuses to even go there. Its almost like he had this excess energy that I cant get rid of. Ive tried everything and now he is even refusing to eat without watching, he is in control of me and I have a feeling when he is older he will be much worse and end up bad even though my other kids turned out well and were not like this at all.

Please help me🙏🏻

My son is exactly the same and has been for two years, he is almost 4 now. He rules the house and affects everything we do as a family due to his tantrums.
He definitely got worse over lockdown as he had more screentime while we tried to work. Once he held in a poo for a week and was in terrible form. He hits, scratches and kicks me and throws items. It's like he has all this frustration inside and has to let it out.

It all came to a head a week or so ago when me and my husband decided that the family couldn't live like this anymore, it was so bad and everyone was miserable.

We had already tried positive reinforcement and talking super sweetly to him but it didn't even help.
So what I did that worked was sit him outside the kitchen door EVERY time he lashed out or threw something. And explained why he was there. And he wasn't allowed to come back in until he apologised.
It took about a week and was tough going at times, but do you know what, we have had three days tantrum free for the first time in years and it feels like there might be light at the end of the tunnel. He is being sweet and saying thank you and I have noticed such an improvement. There were times in the past I cried as it was so bad.

He seems happier and is even communicating better. We also removed his dummy a while ago.as he was using it as comfort to get to sleep at night, and I believe that this has helped to improve his behaviour, no idea how.

I’ve found this book really helpful. The book you wish your parents had read Philippa Perry. Sending good vibes.