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Would it be unacceptable to make someone a 50th birthday present?

82 replies

Progress2019 · 16/07/2020 10:26

My best friend is 50 at the end of next month. I don’t see her much but I wanted to buy her something lovely, unfortunately the lockdown meant that we had no income at all, and have been living off our savings. Theres really hardly any spare money left.

Shes really hard to buy for at the best of times, as she owns a gift and antique shop. Shes not into fashion and beauty, and although shes a keen reader, she volunteers in the library, and I know she’d hate to receive books.

Her favourite book as a child was Heidi, and we have a thing, that whenever things are going badly with our lives (mostly child related, as neither of our teenagers were easy), we’d say ‘shall we go to the mountain?’ Or ‘my bags are packed, the cabins booked’, silly things like that.

Before lockdown, i’d bought her a really old copy of Heidi, and I was thinking, to go with it, I could make some felt bunting with mountains, trees, a log cabin, and maybe a goat. Is this a stupid idea? Her home is more quirky and eclectic, than minimalist or modern. I think I have all the materials, can sew and draw a bit.

My family would definitely not think something homemade was an acceptable present, especially for a milestone birthday but i’d love some more opinions. If it sounds shit, i’d rather know!

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 09/09/2020 09:11

It sounds lovely, rather than bunting how about a Heidi themed cushion cover as someone else suggested, and bookmark for her favourite reading chair?

GreyishDays · 09/09/2020 09:14

But that all sounds lovely? How odd and how rude of her.

helpfulperson · 09/09/2020 09:14

I think that is amazing. I'd have been delighted to receive it. (In fact if she doesn't want it I'll send you my address. I have a bit of shelving just right for it!)

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Pikachubaby · 09/09/2020 09:16

I would love this and think it very sweet

sunnysidegold · 09/09/2020 09:28

OP your gift is lovely and you did a great job. I think her reaction says a lot about her. Do you think she expected a "big" gift? I would ask what's up, only because you've been friends for so long. Does she realisr you madeit yourself?

Etinox · 09/09/2020 09:37

That bunting is beautiful and as pp have said could also be used as Christmas decs. I wonder if there is something else is going on in her life?

Fingermoose · 09/09/2020 09:38

I'd love your gift OP, especially combined with a book I loved. It shows real thought and care. Did she know it was made by you, and about your financial situation? If so it's a disappointing reaction from her.

CormoranStrike · 09/09/2020 09:40

I love your bunting! Shame your friend isn’t as nice a person as you.

Mycatismadeofstringcheese · 09/09/2020 09:47

That bunting is adorable. I would cry tears of joy if I was given a handmade present like that. You can see the love in it.

If income is tight, I bet you could sell similar on Etsy. Might not make a fortune, but could be something coming in.

Etinox · 09/09/2020 09:50

It really is beautiful @Progress2019 yy to pp saying you could make and sell on Etsy.
Is there a big reveal? Did she take you to St Moritz for your 50th or buy you a chalet? Wink

inappropriateraspberry · 09/09/2020 09:58

I think whatever you make would be lovely. It's not just that you made it yourself, it's the thought and memories that go with it. The personalisation shows you know her and care for her. I second a bar of Toblerone as well!
How about making a picture from layers of fabric, appliqué/decoupage style? You could see, quilt, or glue it?

inappropriateraspberry · 09/09/2020 10:00

Sorry, just read the end!! Your bunting is beautiful. Good enough to sell, so I would ask her what the matter is.

Plussizejumpsuit · 09/09/2020 10:06

Just saw the update. ShockThe bunting is beautiful. Such a thoughtful gift. I'd love this as a gift and I haven't even read the book! You seem really thoughtful as a friend op. Sorry shes been off with you. Is she aware of your financial situation? Not that it should matter

ApolloandDaphne · 09/09/2020 10:11

The bunting is lovely. Your whole gift theme was very thoughtful and something I would have appreciated. Are you sure she is being off with you or maybe just busy and distracted with birthday celebrations and life in general?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 09/09/2020 10:21

That bunting is so cute.
I would have loved it.
It looks great in itself and the tie to the book is so clever and thoughtful.

I'm 40 in a year, so perhaps we could become acquaintances now and work up to milestone birthday presents by then?

I don't actually expect any presents from anyone, let alone expensive flashy ones.
Is this definitely a thing now?

sallyshirt · 09/09/2020 11:06

Nooooo I can't believe your friend didn't appreciate the gifts, are you sure?

I think your gift was so lovely and thoughtful, and she must know you don't have a lot of money for an OTT gift?

The bunting is beautiful, you could sell that on Etsy! Maybe this is the start of a new career!

CatteStreet · 09/09/2020 11:36

I would treasure that bunting, OP, if I had been given it, even if it weren't to my aesthetic taste, and I would be proud to be a friend someone thought it worth going to that effort for.

Can you find out from your friend whether she is really upset about the gift? And if she is, tbh, I don't think it's her who should be offended and 'off', it's you. It would be the ultimate in rudeness, shallowness and ingratitude and would make me rethink where my thought and effort goes.

Timmytoo · 09/09/2020 11:44

What about a scrap book with picture of you both with a Heidi theme. Ie a background on each page with pictures or off cuts representing the story line. But the pics would be of you and her stuck onto the background if that makes sense.

Timmytoo · 09/09/2020 11:50

Apologies, the thread hadn't updated before I posted 😔

everybodysang · 09/09/2020 11:53

Oh I'm so sad to read your update - I think it was a beautiful present and I would genuinely have been thrilled to receive it. You seem like a very thoughtful friend.

Perhaps there's something else going on with her and it's nothing to do with this? It's such a shame.

MellieNelba · 09/09/2020 15:42

I think the bunting is lovely and I would have appreciated the time and thought that went in it.

Clymene · 09/09/2020 15:50

Oh this thread has made me so sad! I think your gift is beautiful

CokeyCola · 09/09/2020 15:58

I think the bunting is gorgeous and agree you could sell on Etsy. How strange of your friend and how rejecting after you've put so much effort in. Did she say thank you?

Fleamaker123 · 09/09/2020 16:02

If a friend of mine put that much thought and effort into creating such a unique and personal gift for me I would be so touched. Are you sure she's off with you because of this? Can't believe it I feel sad for you x

PineappleTart · 09/09/2020 16:04

Oh I'm so sorry to read the update, your mountain scene garland is beautiful, I'd have been thrilled to receive that.