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Would it be unacceptable to make someone a 50th birthday present?

82 replies

Progress2019 · 16/07/2020 10:26

My best friend is 50 at the end of next month. I don’t see her much but I wanted to buy her something lovely, unfortunately the lockdown meant that we had no income at all, and have been living off our savings. Theres really hardly any spare money left.

Shes really hard to buy for at the best of times, as she owns a gift and antique shop. Shes not into fashion and beauty, and although shes a keen reader, she volunteers in the library, and I know she’d hate to receive books.

Her favourite book as a child was Heidi, and we have a thing, that whenever things are going badly with our lives (mostly child related, as neither of our teenagers were easy), we’d say ‘shall we go to the mountain?’ Or ‘my bags are packed, the cabins booked’, silly things like that.

Before lockdown, i’d bought her a really old copy of Heidi, and I was thinking, to go with it, I could make some felt bunting with mountains, trees, a log cabin, and maybe a goat. Is this a stupid idea? Her home is more quirky and eclectic, than minimalist or modern. I think I have all the materials, can sew and draw a bit.

My family would definitely not think something homemade was an acceptable present, especially for a milestone birthday but i’d love some more opinions. If it sounds shit, i’d rather know!

OP posts:
LST · 16/07/2020 12:31

I was 30 a few weeks ago and my friend knitted me the most amazing blanket. I really appreciated it

MrsJemimaDuck · 16/07/2020 12:36

I would love to receive this. How kind and creative you are.

Addler · 16/07/2020 12:50

This sounds like a lovely idea. You and she sound like wonderful friends to have.

Interested in this thread?

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joyjester · 16/07/2020 12:55

I would rather receive something homemade!

Divebar · 16/07/2020 13:02

I’ve just turned 50 and would love the vintage book but although I love handmade things probably wouldn’t love the bunting. You could hand stitch something patchwork like a cushion cover - you could patchwork on one side and leave the other side plain to cut down the sewing. Obviously it would be quicker to machine sew it... are you sure you don’t know anyone with a machine you could borrow? If you want inspiration have a look at a quilter called Cassandra Ellis who does these beautiful “freestyle” quilts ( eg not following a set pattern). She does other items like these beautiful hand stitched patchworks made of off-cuts of kimono fabrics that she puts into frames. You could adapt that idea. I’m sure you’d find other hand stitched ideas for non cheesy gifts. However the book itself sounds wonderful and I hope she really appreciates it.

Mrsjayy · 16/07/2020 14:24

That is adorable I would love something like that as a present so thoughtful.

Vintagevixen · 16/07/2020 14:28

I am 50 this month too, and would love the bunting, I would actually prefer it to a shop bought gift. Something individually made with love...perfect.

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2020 14:29

I’d agree buying a plain cushion cover then hand sewing things on to it would work well. And it would be really special too.

Fanthorpe · 16/07/2020 18:12

A really nice cushion cover with a novel themed applique would be lovely, I’d buy one!
Like the Jan Constantine ones but literary.

Progress2019 · 09/09/2020 07:58

I thought i’d update this.

Most people didn't think this was the best idea and offered alternatives, but I decided to go ahead anyway, as I really didn’t have any money to spare (apart from the vintage book, card, and toblerone), and I had a box of felt. I did really like the other suggestions - cushions, blankets etc but I don’t have any skills.

I thought I knew best. I really didn't. Shes been a bit off with me ever since

If anyone googles ‘handmade presents’ and find this post - please don’t bother. I think people are actually a bit insulted.

Would it be unacceptable to make someone a 50th birthday present?
OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 09/09/2020 08:06

@midlifecrash

this is such a lovely idea. You could maybe get a v cheap plain cushion cover and applique on the felt mountain and goat? This would last longer than bunting. The book cover is also a lovely idea.

I want some goat covers now

I love the idea of appliqué cushion covers.

I am nearly 50 and would love a thoughtful homemade gift.

BikeRunSki · 09/09/2020 08:08

Oh no. Just seen your update. How dissapointing.

Plussizejumpsuit · 09/09/2020 08:09

So lovely! If she is a good friend she will understand the thought that you put in.

GlamGiraffe · 09/09/2020 08:12

You might be able to buy a bookmark kit online with a pattern of mountains or something on it. a simple tapestry type thing. Easy to do.

BrowncoatWaffles · 09/09/2020 08:12

Oh no! I'm so sorry read this! I thought the bunting turned out great. I'd have loved this as a present.

Surely she knows your situation?

diplodocusinermine · 09/09/2020 08:17

Sorry, Progress - I thought it was a lovely idea and tbh your 'friend's' reaction is a reflection on her and current societal obsession with what a birthday present should cost than your lovely gift. I've had a proper look at the photo and it's just beautiful - so much thought and effort. I would have been over the moon to have received it.

Crylittlesister · 09/09/2020 08:17

The bunting looks fab, it was a lovely idea. Maybe it's not the present that has put her in a crappy mood, have you asked her what's wrong? I'm sorry you don't think it was well received, you put a lot of thought and effort into it.

Trumpton · 09/09/2020 08:17

Oh that’s very sad .
I love the bunting !

BarbaraofSeville · 09/09/2020 08:19

Well I think that's nice and very thoughtful, although I'd probably repurpose the bunting as Christmas tree decorations because I wouldn't know where to use the bunting, but what I really like is individual mismatched tree decorations that mean something to me.

It's incredibly rude of her to be off with you over a birthday present. Especially as you've had no income.

I think presents between adults apart from consumables and other little token presents are pointless because most people have money to buy what they want when they want, and if they don't, they can do without getting into a cycle of exchanging gifts that they can't afford and often don't need. Plus there's the environmental aspect. A lot of the stuff bought just ends up wasted.

GlamGiraffe · 09/09/2020 08:19

Oh ive just seen your update @Progress2019. Bunting isnt my thing but I think that is really lovely and not what I would imagine bunting to be like at all.
I really would appreciate how much effort you had put into that, fun memory things are the best.

A good thing should also understand you've fonexeomethingcrwally thinking of them and that perhaps you're not the richest right now either.
How mean of her.
I'd like a friend like you.
I'd like to think she sees this and realises shes been mean to you.
You can make me bunting anytime!

TheClitterati · 09/09/2020 08:19

I thinks that would be a perfect gift op
Thoughtful, personal with meaning.

milienhaus · 09/09/2020 08:28

The bunting you made looks amazing! I’m sorry your friend is being off with you but I would have been very happy to receive it so I don’t think it was a bad idea.

Coffeecak3 · 09/09/2020 08:29

Sorry your friend is a bit off.
Your bunting is beautiful.

My bf often hand makes things for me and I love it.
It shows thoughtfulness and it's unique.
Perhaps your friend got a lot of gifts and hasn't really had Tim's to process them yet.
Sometimes a week or two after Christmas I go through gifts and only then realise what I have.

speakfriendandenter · 09/09/2020 08:37

I think your gift is beautiful and it shows what a kind & thoughtful friend you are.

Coffeecak3 · 09/09/2020 09:07

time