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Original poster

I've just collected my wedding dress and I don't like it at all.

85 replies

ShellsAndSunrises · 08/07/2020 12:30

That, really... any advice?

I hated the idea of wedding dress shopping but took my best friend and fiancé's mum to try some on as they really wanted to. I found the whole thing awkward, not least because I was 2 stone heavier than I normally am and felt it was very obvious in the tiny shop dresses, but I found a dress that I liked more than the rest and they cried, so we bought it.

I've just seen it for the first time since October. It doesn't suit me at all. I've lost the 2st so it's too big, but it looks odd and wide. I don't look like me at all.

The original wedding was in a gorgeous little Manor House, so I got a dress that suited the room... it's got a long train, and is lace. We're now getting married in a tiny office room. I think it'll look really out of place.

It was already a lot more than I'd planned to pay, but doable. It's due to be fitted on Saturday so I think I'd have to pay for that anyway. The date is in a month, so no real time to lose more weight and see if that helps... There's nothing that I can do really, is there?

I feel really sad and deflated this afternoon!

OP posts:

ChipsyChopsy · 08/07/2020 12:34

I remember feeling a bit meh about me and my dress at numerous points in the buying and fitting process, Do you have a link to it or any pics of you in it you are willing to share and we could give you ideas on how to style it which might make you love it more?

A dress which is fitted to your size, hair, make up, shoes all make a huge difference.

ChipsyChopsy · 08/07/2020 12:34

A dress which is fitted to your size, hair, make up, shoes all make a huge difference.

Waiting42021 · 08/07/2020 12:35

I think this situation is probably more common than you think, OP!

I’d speak to the dress shop if I were you, and tell them exactly what your concerns are. They may be able to make some tweaks or add some details to make it feel more ‘you’. For example, they could reduce the length of the train for you or tweak the parts that you think look too wide. There’s a lot they can do!

Of course this may cost slightly more but they will want you to be in a dress that you feel happy in, so I’m sure they’d want to help in any way they can.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty

Abracad · 08/07/2020 12:38

I regret my wedding dress choice and would change it if I could. I would investigate selling it and buying one you really like. X

KeepingPlain · 08/07/2020 12:38

Is it maybe just because it isn't fitted to you yet?

Get someone round to hold it together at the back tightly so you can see what you look like in it when it's a bit better fitted to you, or wait until Saturday for the fitting.

mencken · 08/07/2020 12:43

speak to the shop. If you've lost two stone it will fit you like a bag of spanners so don't wear it as it is, will look ridiculous.

pity you got pressured into the whole thing - and grown women crying over a frock? Jesus.

some brides I'm afraid do look ridiculous on what should be quite a good day. Stand up for yourself and don't be one of them. It isn't a time to go shopping for outfits so get this one sorted. And remember - it is only one day!

boredboredboredboredbored · 08/07/2020 12:48

What about a high street dress? Try Monsoon, phase eight, ASOS, John Lewis. You can at least get it quickly in regular sizes plus they tend to be less traditional bride if you're having a low key wedding.

RedOasis · 08/07/2020 13:28

Speak to the shop first. They may be able to help you out in some way.... if you really really don’t want to wear it, then maybe get something you do want and then sell it on? Hope you work it out 🙂

KeepingPlain · 08/07/2020 13:29

@mencken

That's a bit rude. People do cry over wedding dresses, happy tears you know? Because they look beautiful in a way they usually don't on a normal day. Same way that people cry over an ending to a film, even if it's happy.

OP will have felt embarrassed trying on dresses (even though she doesn't need to) because she wasn't happy with her size. I wasn't happy with mine either when I tried on my dress, was worried that the dresses would be too small. Lots of women go through the same thing.

RedOasis · 08/07/2020 13:29

Ps I got an absolutely gorgeous stunning dress on eBay for £100. Girl for a new one and wanted to sell it. Brand new and stunning. You could look there. Just make sure the photos are actual photos and not screen shots of what the dress SHOULD look like.

AnEbayNovice · 08/07/2020 13:36

This is very, very common

I ended up buying another second hand and selling my first, but in the run up I suddenly wasn't sure I liked the second either!

You could look at second hand options which are normally in perfect condition having been worn once, and sell your's. I know the thought of unnecessary expense will make you feel sick, but it is a sunk cost really

Or, once fitted and accessorised you may find you do love your original dress. Do you have any pictures?

RubyFakeLips · 08/07/2020 13:38

If you don't like it don't wear it. Find a way to change it now and get something you like.

Its your wedding and you should feel great not bogged down by an outfit you're uncomfortable in.

Saggydoll · 08/07/2020 13:39

I dont get why u cant change it? U can buy simple dresses online these days, u cant be uncomfortable on ur wedding day.. buy a selection online to try on and just keep the one u like...

superking · 08/07/2020 13:39

The shop can probably add a bustle to reduce the length of the train, I did this with my dress for similar reasons and actually preferred the bustled up version!

tbtf · 08/07/2020 13:42

I bought and then sold a designer dress I coveted and hunted for. Then bought another dress off the peg a couple of months before the wedding and don't regret it at all. I would have looked a right idiot in my first dress, I think I lost £200 in the reselling but it was worth it to be comfortable.

VenusTiger · 08/07/2020 13:48

You liked it so much when it fitted you in October, that you bought it OP - so, it needs adjusting - I guarantee you'll love it again once it's been adjusted to fit your new shape - it's quite common for brides-to-be to lose weight between choosing their dress and getting to wear it - it's usually why you don't collect until nearer the date, as you have to have another fitting - there's plenty of time to adjust it - I had wide lace straps sown into my lace gown as I didn't suit strapless - I also lost 1.5stone so had it taken in - good luck!

AnEbayNovice · 08/07/2020 13:53

@Saggydoll if the dress was bought from a bridal shop it's unlikely OP can return it as they are often ordered to size months in advance and OP is committed to pay (when I say to size they are still ordered in a generic size and not made to measure, but typically the commitment applies)

This isn't always the case, but I thought OP would have mentioned it if she could simply return the dress

She could as you say buy another cheaper one elsewhere albeit she's already spent quite a bit on the first (which may well be stunning! 😊)

morelikeaclubsandwich · 08/07/2020 13:58

Ask yourself "what would Gok say"

Maybe it needs fitting and accessorising properly?

ladycarlotta · 08/07/2020 13:59

if you felt pressured into buying it, have lost weight AND it now won't suit the new venue, I don't think you need to hesitate about not going any further with it. The shop might be more sympathetic given the Covid situation - I doubt you're the only bride whose plans have changed drastically.

Find a dress that feels right for you. This is a big day, however different from what you first envisaged, and you should be able to fully enjoy it without regrets.

Purplephonecover · 08/07/2020 14:07

Don’t panic, if you don’t want the dress google wedding dress sale shops, near to you. You get to walk away with the dress there and then. Loads of sizes and choice. Maybe go on your own? I shop much better on my own.

I got mine in Cardiff, I was there for the weekend. Saved £700 and got a dress that need very little alterations.

Purplephonecover · 08/07/2020 14:08

You can sell the original on preloved sites.

Jaxhog · 08/07/2020 14:09

Talk to the shop ASAP. Tell them your worries and see what they suggest they can do. If that doesn't work, buy another dress, and sell the first one.

Makes me glad I hired mine! Much easier to change.

HavelockVetinari · 08/07/2020 14:11

How tall are you and what dress size?

Saggydoll · 08/07/2020 14:12

@AnEbayNovice yh i got that.. she might be forced to pay for it but shes not forced to wear it.. theres plenty of beautiful budget options online these days

AnEbayNovice · 08/07/2020 14:15

@Saggydoll very true, and expensive ones for sale for very very little used on EBay too! I wish I'd bought second hand in the first place now though it is a nice experience visiting bridal shop

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