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Original poster

I've just collected my wedding dress and I don't like it at all.

85 replies

ShellsAndSunrises · 08/07/2020 12:30

That, really... any advice?

I hated the idea of wedding dress shopping but took my best friend and fiancé's mum to try some on as they really wanted to. I found the whole thing awkward, not least because I was 2 stone heavier than I normally am and felt it was very obvious in the tiny shop dresses, but I found a dress that I liked more than the rest and they cried, so we bought it.

I've just seen it for the first time since October. It doesn't suit me at all. I've lost the 2st so it's too big, but it looks odd and wide. I don't look like me at all.

The original wedding was in a gorgeous little Manor House, so I got a dress that suited the room... it's got a long train, and is lace. We're now getting married in a tiny office room. I think it'll look really out of place.

It was already a lot more than I'd planned to pay, but doable. It's due to be fitted on Saturday so I think I'd have to pay for that anyway. The date is in a month, so no real time to lose more weight and see if that helps... There's nothing that I can do really, is there?

I feel really sad and deflated this afternoon!

OP posts:
NannyPear · 08/07/2020 14:15

When shopping, I tried on my wedding dress in a size a tad too small. I ordered it a size (or two?) bigger than my usual size so that it could be altered to fit, on the recommendation of the bridal store.

That first time I tried it on months later my stomach sank. I even shed a tear on the train home as I hated it! When I went back for a second fitting after initial alterations, as soon as I put it on the weight lifted and I loved it all over again. Hopefully you'll find the same thing happen.

CucumberTree · 08/07/2020 14:23

Having it fitted will make it so much better for you. So many people are going to be wearing big dresses to a registry office at the moment, and that’s ok and you should still feel absolutely special.

PainintheholeSIL · 08/07/2020 14:25

That happened to me too @ShellsAndSunrises. I let myself be raked out of the one I loved and into the one someone else(looking at you sister) preferred. Went to try it on when it came into the shop and I felt sick.
Told the woman who owned the shop and she was so kind. Found me a new arrival that no one had tried on, that was 2 sizes too big but almost identical and she let me swap. Amazing dressmaker took it in and made it look great on me.

I had already paid for the first dress and the second was €500 cheaper but she charged me an additional €500 to change them🤣🤣 I'd have paid anything!! But I ended up paying €2350 for a dress that was €1350. Totally worth it. I loved my dress. I wish I could wear it every day.

Tell the staff in the shop. They won't want you to be unhappy.

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TowandaForever · 08/07/2020 14:35

@PainintheholeSIL

How did the shop not want you to be unhappy? They charged you twice?!

EwwSprouts · 08/07/2020 14:35

Tell the shop before you get it altered. They might have something else in the back or maybe instead of just taking in it could be made less voluminous? They want a happy customer who is going to recommend them.

midsummabreak · 08/07/2020 14:37

If it doesn’t feel right it is not the right dress.

I had similar issue and regret not wearing something that felt like ‘me’.
Sell it , and look for a beautiful but Importantly, comfortable dress and comfortable shoes, that you can dance the night away in.

squeaver · 08/07/2020 14:45

The best thing is to have an honest conversation with the dress shop. Now, before you go on Saturday. Then they can plan for you coming in - maybe have some other options, or have a think about what they can do to alter it.

And you can have a proper chat about the cost implications.

When you go for the fitting, go on your own. You'll be able to talk about it more openly.

Call the shop now. You'll feel so much better for taking some control over the situation.

Beautiful3 · 08/07/2020 14:51

It's going to look alot better, when it's been fitted to your new slender figure. Having your hair, nails, make up and veil fitted really makes the whole outfit come together. I highly doubt you'd be able to return it anyway. There is no point wasting more money on another dress. Personally I would stick with it and get it fitted. I was a little indifferent to my dress too, but again when my tan/make up/hair got done, I felt happier.

thisplaceisweird · 08/07/2020 15:03

Definitely change it before they make alterations.

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 08/07/2020 15:15

Take someone you REALLY trust and talk to the dress shop -they will help.

erised24 · 08/07/2020 15:15

I did the same thing. Bought my two piece dress, tried it on when it arrived and loved it. Got to a few weeks before my wedding, tried my dress on again and absolutely hated it and how I looked. Needless to say I panicked! Ended up buying a dress online that was about £500 cheaper and had it made in a rush. Turned out to be perfect and I didn't want to take it off! Ended up selling the other one at a loss but was worth feeling good on my wedding day.

OliveKitteridgeAgain · 08/07/2020 15:18

I hated my wedding dress (and wedding for that matter) with a passion. I can't stand looking at the photos now. Go and get yourself something you feel lovely in and will enjoy looking back on. Don't regret your wedding, take it from me, it's really sad.

You'll just need to write off the expense of the meringue dress.

Have a look at selling it, or even if the shop will take it back for part of the cost - I think I read somewhere that lockdown has had an effect on supply of materials/supply of dresses made outside the UK. You never know until you ask.

HelloSunshine11 · 08/07/2020 15:22

Ten years on I still regret my wedding dress and it bothers me a bit every time I look at the photos. It was a BEAUTIFUL dress but so not right for me. I agree, talk to the shop, but do look at other options. Maybe even go by yourself and see how you feel. I should have changed mine and am so sorry I didn't.

Tweacle · 08/07/2020 15:29

Wait until it’s been fitted. Then when it’s pinned etc, have another good look. If you are still unsure speak to the seamstress, you will be surprised at the amount of people that have these feelings.

fascinated · 08/07/2020 15:39

Check the terms and conditions. If it hasn’t been altered for you yet I’m any way you should be able to swap for sth better. Tip = go alone to choose the new dress.

cakeandchampagne · 08/07/2020 15:40

Alterations can be more than just size. Ask about the possibilities.

fascinated · 08/07/2020 15:40

If you’ve lost two stone - no self respecting shop would let you wear the original dress under those circumstances!

DuDuDuLangaLangaBingBong · 08/07/2020 15:43

What would you like instead? Doesn’t have to be wedding dress, just something nice to wear for YOUR wedding.

Let us Mumsnetters help you source it - we’ve got a month!

(I’ve been married three times and never wore a wedding-wedding dress, you don’t have to either if it’s not your thing)

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 08/07/2020 15:46

oh god, sell it on - don't get it altered - call the shop

get something that feels like you and feels right

sounds like you never loved it in the first place

fascinated · 08/07/2020 15:47

Don’t tell op to sell it - she needs to get an exchange from the shop!

IndiaMay · 08/07/2020 15:56

Sell it on. Even for a loss, try and recuperate some of the money.

Head to wed2b on the highstreet, they do really affordable (£200-£600) dresses. I got my dress from there and it looks SO much more expensive. You try them on in the shop, buy what you want and take them home there and then. I follow them on insta and their stores are back open and I think you're allowed to take one other person in to try dresses on with you. The staff are in masks.

Then you can take it to an independent tailors to be altered in time. Buy a dress for the body you have now

IndiaMay · 08/07/2020 15:57

@fascinated that wont happen, they're made to order. The ones you try on in a shop are samples. They arent going to give money back on a dress they can do nothing with

LittleGwyneth · 08/07/2020 16:02

I'd order a back-up from ASOS and talk to a dressmaker about how it will look when it's fitted.

Whatever happens you will look beautiful because a) you'll have your hair / make up done and b) you'll be so happy.

Tootletum · 08/07/2020 16:07

I was very pregnant when wedding dress shopping, and the wedding was after the baby, but I conveniently have a twin sister! I had same issue, because I was breastfeeding my assets were practically falling out the front. I got it altered to insert more material and it looked horrific, like someone's matron aunt. Took it to a second dressmaker, and I have no idea what magic she worked, but it was perfect and I enjoyed wearing it. Maybe see if some alterations to the line are possible? It's surprising what can be done.

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