Terrible CVs

[PymChurchBeach]

Disclaimer: I know times are hard and shitty right now and a lot of people are desperate for work so probably chucking out CVs left right and centre at anything and everything.

BUT. I have worked in HR for nearly a decade now and it has always been the same. The general standard of CVs is bloody awful. I'm recruiting for a mid level role at the moment and I have seen the following:

• people using little hearts and stars instead of bullet points
• massive glamour model style photographs taking up the whole first page of a CV
• people's dates of birth and marital statuses written up at the top. Just no!!!
• wacky, colourful borders and fonts. Comic sans. Enough said.

Also - this last one is possibly controversial but when women have had a break to look after DC, there really is no need to list all the skills gained as a SAHM - e.g. "excellent time management skills etc". You can just say you had time out to raise children. That's all you need to say. I'm not going to think any the worse of you for it.

I am desperate to implement application forms rather than have CVs and cover letters but my CEO is old fashioned and will not have it.

BlingLoving these make my day

Ooh, I’ve never had a pink one. I had yellow once though 😂.

I’ve never had any issues getting interviews with my CV.

Interviews themselves are a different matter! I used to work as a PA in the City. I once had two interviews on the same day for similar roles and they asked similar questions. The feedback from one was that I came across as timid and they thought I was too quiet for their outgoing team of PAs. The other place said I was over-confident and wouldn’t fit into their team which was more reserved.

A couple of days later I had another PA interview, same outfit and questions and got the job! Apparently they were impressed by my quietly confident manner and thought I would be a great asset to their team.

It’s all subjective.

@PymChurchBeach

Just received a CV where the font was all pink and impossible to read.

I can faithfully promise you that it wasn't mine.

The person who put ‘God’ as the sole entry under interests still stands out in my mind

I used to work for an international organization recruiting from all over the place and it was actually v interesting to see what was acceptable in other countries - eg the CVs we got from Bangladesh included things like blood type (there’s a belief in parts of Asia that this reveals your personality type), details of parents such as what their dad did for a job, whether they were married, their religion etc. We’d overlook this stuff as it’s normal in that culture, as long as the relevant info was also included.

@Ifailed

I can only speak from my experience, not as someone in HR but as someone who's been involved in recruiting for my teams over the years (as an aside, I really wished some of the HR people I've worked with took time to understand what each roles actually did!)

I didn't want to read exciting CVs, I just hoped that every now and then I saw one from someone who seemed to understand what the job in hand was about and showed some relevant experience of doing it. I never gave two hoots about how many O levels/GCSEs they had, and a degree was irrelevant to me, though HR would insist on them.

This. The number one thing I look for in a CV is the ability to anticipate what we are looking for (having read the job description and person spec - I 'm not expecting mind-readers) and that you have bothered to show how you fit the bill. That's pretty much it. You would think it would be easy....

The person who put ‘God’ as the sole entry under interests still stands out in my mind

At least it wasn't as a referee..

'Dear Hiring Manager, the applicant has asked us to convey their astonishment at not being offered an interview'. 'Dear Geller, please see applicant's Facebook profile' (inserts link to dubious at best pastimes, blatant racism etc.)

And please please don't list your reliability, punctuality and ability to work in a team or independently. These should go without saying. Although if you're responding to an ad for a full time post do let us know you are looking only to work alternate Sundays during a full moon as that's kind of a deal breaker and we're not mind readers.

I have a close friend who, when asked what motivated her, said ‘my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and my use of my talents in His name.’

She was entirely serious.

The interviewer apparently boggled a bit and looked like they were struggling for what to say next, but she got the job (well deserved, and she was an extremely successful employee there for years).

I don’t know if she included ‘god’ under hobbies, though.

@HotCrossBungle

Some brilliant advice on here, thank you.

Should I note the classification of my (arts subject) degree if it's not directly related to the job I'm applying for?

I take the point about not having to list qualifications under my degree but what about Maths? I have an O level which immediately outs me as an older candidate but I feel I need to show I am numerate. How can I do this or will it be assumed as I have a degree?

I think norms do vary slightly from sector to sector, so it's worth Googling for a few CV examples in your own profession.

As a healthcare employer, I would not expect anyone with a degree to mention school qualifications. Definitely list your degree class though, if it's a 1st or 2:1 - it demonstrates hard work & commitment.

Think of every sentence in your CV as a chance to show your suitability for the role. Don't just list your jobs, highlight your achievements in them. This is especially important if it will be non-obvious to me - so, to understand, I need more detail if you have previously worked outside healthcare (in my case) than if you haven't.

Keeping achievements quantifiable on your CV is a good idea:

I progressed from x level of skill in Excel to y level in 3 months

I reviewed policy a then devised and implemented policy b saving x amount from the budget annually.

Also be realistic; if we can't insure you because you accidentally reversed a forklift into the CEO during his interview for the corporate safety video, do let us know (details changed but you get the gist).

If you leave your degree classification off your CV I will assume that you got either a 3rd or a Pass and are hoping that if you don’t mention it I won’t notice. IME this is invariably true (but to be fair I’m normally recruiting at a level where most candidates have a 1st or a 2:1)

I remember a sad CV which was really a long list of disastrous reasons why the applicant had left many jobs including Decided I couldn't take it any more so I walked out and Got dismissed - don't know why.

While honesty is always the best policy on a CV, there's also a case for avoiding oversharing.

Have just been through a high double digit number of CVs for a vacancy. In no particular order:

Do not include anything about your "attention to detail" skills unless you are 100% confident that your SPAG is all correct.

I'm only interested in the last 10 years of work history, so save the detail for those roles - giving a potted summary of the earlier years. Don't describe every job you've ever had since 1980 in detail.

My personal preference for a CV is 1-2 pages with appropriate spacing, formatting and sub-headings. Keep font sizes consistent and use something clear like Calibri or TNR. If you use Papyrus or Comic Sans and it's an office job you're applying for, then expect your CV to end up in the bin unread.

Hobbies and interests is a 50/50 split - personally I'm not interested and don't bother reading about them but some hiring managers do.

Parents who are returning to work after SAH - please don't put that you are a "Home chef, negotiator, administrator". Just put the period of time and say career break to explain the gap in working.

Finally, read the job description and tailor your CV to meet as many of the requirements as possible. It means submitting an individual CV for each vacancy but it's worth it - especially if you pull out key words in the advert and get a few of them in (but do not overuse). I've just written off about 50% of the CVs I received because despite clearly specifying that previous experience was essential, those applicants had no relevant experience. By doing that it means your CV won't even be retained on file - whereas if you do have experience but weren't shortlisted for interview, we'll retain your CV (with your permission) for a period of time and if vacancies come up where you are a good match, we'll get in touch. I've ended up recruiting a few people that way.

Really useful advice on this thread! I mentor some young people as part of outreach work, will distill these ideas to pas on -thanks!!

Oh god, photos, marital status, full on biography.

Had someone in the middle of their interview the other day they were due in family Court fighting for access to their children... I don't want to know!!!! I just want to know you can do the job!!!!

Under interests "I like drinking with my mates in the pub"
Given I was interviewing for a role that works in substance/alcohol misuse I gave that one a miss.....

@Haffdonga yes!! Equally don't say you left on good terms when a quick Google will reveal headlines involving low level violence over the photocopier...

Also.... Every single interview I've done in the last three weeks (I've done a lot 😭) has mentioned at some point that they would search gov.UK for advice.

What is this fabled website that is the fountain of all knowledge???!!!

For anyone applying for a job right now, please don't use the "quick apply" buttons on so many job sites available e.g. Indeed.

It comes through as a blank application and for me that goes straight in the bin.
Please go directly to the company website (if possible) and fill it in there!

Oh and top tip - if you have the option to go direct to the firm than via a recruiter, then do so!

I like to see - brief - hobbies at the end of a short CV. Definitely no more than 2 pages.

Last year I was hiring mid tier lawyers. The number of CVs that ran into 5/6 pages were absurd.

I also want to see that you have a life outside of work. There’s a lot of people that don’t

Well slightly better than a third, a 2.2.

Can anyone recommend and free or low priced brush up courses for Microsoft Office? I'm rusty to say the least and 15 years out of date.

Beginning to think I am doomed

You're not doomed. Other than roles needing specific skills/training (doctors have to have gone to medical school ), I will go for attitude, willingness and being prepared to learn every time. I don't give a toss about career breaks, as long as you are prepared to brush up on any rusty areas. So don't say 'my Microsoft skills are a bit rusty' at interview, say 'my Microsoft skills were a bit rusty, so I put myself on XX course, and now I'm more knowledgeable than I ever was in the past'

@DirtyStinkinBass ...are you serious? If you aren't joking, literally type in gov.uk in your browser and you'll get there, although I'm surprised you haven't used it in the last ten years if you've ever needed to renew or amend your driving license/passport/check your NI contributions, etc. etc....
Hope you don't judge your applicants on their lack of research skills if you are bothered enough to complain about a website on a social media forum but not bothered enough to type in five letters to look at it for yourself!

As far as resources go it's not a bad one for applicants to refer to I wouldn't have thought? It's got a lot of detail, is government sanctioned, and regularly updated. It's not like they are saying 'I'd ask Jeeves,' which is a genuine response I got once (In 2016, too, not even ye olde days of the world wide web)!

How would recruiters on here have felt if this CV ended up on their desk, before it became well-known?

phildub.com/

It's the guy who did his CV in the style of an Amazon product.