What is it about weddings that brings out the worst in some people?

[Billyjoearmstrong]

I’m due a baby in August, having an Elective section and had the date booked in by the consultant a couple of weeks ago.

Dh was taking to SIL this morning, she asked if I had a date booked yet and he told her.

I’m sure you can guess where this is going.

She’s getting married on the same date next year and has thrown a wobbly because it will be dds first birthday.

She’s asking if I can get the date changed. No, I can’t. And to be honest I’ve got lots of complications and I’m not sure that we will both be okay, this is the first day they can book me in for and I’d rather not wait a few days. I want to get it over with as soon as I can as I’m shitting myself as it is and to be honest, when they gave me the date the last thing on my mind was the date of a wedding next year.

So now she’s pissed off that a) the baby will turn one on her wedding day and it might take away some of her shine.

And

B) that at if the worst happens and me or the baby die then Dh and the children would be upset on that date and wouldn’t enjoy her day.

Dh did tell her to shut and grow up at that point. (The only reason the family know about these complications is that we’ve been under increasing pressure to meet up, let the children go to them for sleepovers etc and we are staying isolated as Covid would add another layer of horrific that I really don’t need on top of everything else so we had to shut them up

She will only be one, she’s not going to know it’s her birthday. We’ll have a little tea party the day before or something it’s not a big deal - she will be our third so it’s kit like when it’s your PFB and the first birthday is an epic event.

We won’t even mention it at her wedding. I’ll stay at home with the baby if she wants me to if it’s that much of a big deal to her. I really don’t mind either way. The wedding is a huge county house deal, no one will care about one baby out of everything that will be going on anyway.

I’ve always thought she was quite rational up now but bloody hell.

Now MIL has called to see if it’s possible to change the date of the section as SIL called her upset.

I’m not bloody changing the date! I’m stressed and scared and I couldn’t give a shit about SIL wedding right now, over something that’s really not a big deal.

Good god I'd tell them all to fuck off. And I don't normally do things like that but come on! I've never heard the likes of this.

I'd ask her to change the date of her wedding. If her husband to be leaves her at the alter it would ruin your child's first birthday.

Do this!!

Or at the very least suggest to your DH that he asks her this, it should give you both a laugh if nothing else :o

And by the way, she has taken leave of her senses. I can imagine my sister pulling a stunt like this when she got married, she was obsessed with a capital Bridezilla. We didnt speak for a long time after her wedding as she behaved so appallingly. She admitted afterwards what she was like but has never apologised. In the interest of family harmony I let it go (it was 20 odd years ago) but it does still rankle....

In seriousness though, I would be suggesting that DH text her

"I am appalled that the only thing you can think about in relation to me and the kids possibly losing a wife, mother, and new baby and sibling, is your wedding. Especially when you came so close to losing X a few years ago. I would have thought you, above all people, would understand how frightened I am of losing her and the baby. I am sure that when you think about this you will realise how cruel and hurtful you have been and be suitably ashamed of yourself."

The exact words were (I pushed Dh to tell me) “and what if Billy and the baby do end up dying? You and (the children) are hardly going to have fun on the anniversary of it”. I have seen some awful things on MN over the years but this is the worst. And it sounds like she's only actually bothered about their unhappiness affecting her photos and wedding atmosphere!

OP this is honestly one of the worst things I've ever read on here. Your SIL has lost her mind. I have a large extended family and quite often babies are born around the same time someone has gotten married or another couple are celebrating a significant anniversary or whatever and it's always a lovely added cause for celebration. Even I remember my cousin (who has form for being a complete drama lama normally) standing up to congratulate her brother and his wife as their baby had been prematurely born the day before and asking for everyone's good thoughts and wishes as the baby was in the neo natal unit and over the years whenever I see on Facebook that it's her wedding anniversary I always think "oh it's little Tommy's birthday this week as well ". And last year that little boy had his 18th birthday and at his party we all wished my cousin happy anniversary as the two events are interlinked in all our minds. Your sil must be absolutely deranged to be thinking that a one year olds birthday would upstage her wedding.

Ask sil what if she ends up divorced? She won't want to celebrate dc's birthday every year will she?
She needs to change it..

Your husband needs to create a group chat for his relatives, say ‘in light of Sister wanting OPs caesarean date moved in case her or our baby does and ruins the atmosphere at sisters wedding, my family and myself will obviously not be attending the wedding. Sister is not to contact me again, nor is anyone’s on her behalf. Any attempt at contact will be harassment, and documented with the police.’ Then leave the group. No need to indulge scum in any way.

I did not mean to type does there. Ffs.

Wow your SIL is a terrible person thinking and saying that! I hope your dh has told your MIL and after this i would have a lovely 1st birthday next year and blow off the wedding.