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Original poster

Incident at the pond

89 replies

dandelionsticks · 27/06/2020 16:43

Posting this as it's playing on my mind so wanted to share.

Took the kids to a large pond near us which we visit frequently. The pond is huge so plenty of space, never issues with crowding and plenty of ducks, moorhens and wildlife for everyone to enjoy. We brought oats to feed the ducks and swans. They came over to feed and it was really lovely. A lady came up and asked us to move away so she could take a photo of the swans (that were only there as they were eating the oats we were feeding them). We only had a handful of oats left so I asked politely if she could wait less than a minute and we'd be done. She said no, we had to move. I asked why. She said that it was dangerous as people were congregating around us to watch us feed the swans and due to Coronavirus it wasn't safe so we should move. I looked around. There was only one couple watching us feed the swans and the were about 4 metres away. This lady was stood about a metre away and wearing a face mask. I asked where the people were. She then said "Okay, not now but they WILL congregate if you stay here as you are attracting attention by feeding the swans. But I'm concerned about the safety of your children. You should move them away now before people congregate around you." I look around. Nobody is congregating. The pond is huge and people are walking past finding their own spots. I say that we're almost done and can she give us a minute then she can take her photos. She then responds: "I would like you to move now. For the safety of your children because I have the flu." My kids are young but old enough to know about Covid and worry about being ill. Whilst I'm fairly sure she's just saying this to force us to move, I didn't want the situation to escalate. At this point, I was worried she'd remove her mask and deliberately cough on us to force us to move away.

So the kids and I moved away. I felt bullied and forced into moving for no reason other than this lady wanting to stand where we were to take a photo of the swans eating the oats we had fed them. We moved several metres away. Watched as she took her photos. Then she walked off. The couple who had witnessed the entire exchange looked at me and said "She's mad", I think, in an effort to make me feel a bit better.

I know it's only one person feeling entitled and being unreasonable. I know most people would never be so rude. What is playing on my mind is whether this is now a thing. For people to pretend to be sick or to threaten to spread germs, in order to get their way. There was an incident in London where a TFL worker caught Covid when someone intentionally coughed on her. Sadly, she did get it and later died. There was a recent incident in the news about a lady who removed her mask and appeared to cough intentionally at a baby in a pram allegedly because she felt the mother had stood too close to her. I'm not white by the way.

OP posts:

LimeTreeGrove · 27/06/2020 16:46

She sounds horrible and rude

LimeTreeGrove · 27/06/2020 16:47

I probably wouldn't have moved til we'd finished

YaWeeSkitter · 27/06/2020 16:48

I think the bystander who said the lady was 'mad' was probably correct. Perhaps she is well known in the area for having anti social behaviour.
It didnt actually impinge on you to move away this time so you were the bigger person. Obviously for her it was something she had fixated on for reasons unknown.
I dont think your skin colour had anything to do with it .

Theforest · 27/06/2020 16:51

At least some others were witness to her odd behaviour.

I would probably have reacted in the same way as you.

JeanMichelBisquiat · 27/06/2020 16:52

I wouldn't let it play on your mind - she was obviously not very well mentally. Covid just provides a new way for bonkersness to manifest itself. Hope the rest of your time at the park was more tranquil.

AdaColeman · 27/06/2020 16:52

She's the local busy-body, probably writes with green ink. Another time just ignore.

user1495884620 · 27/06/2020 16:52

Easy to say after the event, but you should have told her that she should be self-isolating and that you would call the police.

AllStartedWithUSA · 27/06/2020 16:53

She is a nasty woman and I wouldn’t give it anymore thought. For what it’s worth you did the right thing moving away as sometimes it’s just better to do what’s best to keep you all safe esp with children with you. Extremely irritating given she was completely in wrong and rude. She wanted her photographs. Selfish. Horrible. Some people are just not nice.

I’m sure there will be more of this “I’ll cough on you” nonsense. There always is scum that pull disgusting acts like that.

Ps: did she say something racially abusive to you? Why does it matter that you aren’t white?

rosiethehen · 27/06/2020 16:56

You should have told her to push off. She sounds like one of those bossy types who need putting in their place.

Sunnydayshereatlast · 27/06/2020 16:59

Where I used to live a woman designated herself Swan Guardian.. Anyone who came near she asked to leave the swans alone. When the babies hatched she was obsessive.
Chasing teens away, threatening violence!
The day she fell in the park arose with delight. Her behaviour was more stressful to the birds than people just walking along the Riverside pathway..

Pixie2015 · 27/06/2020 16:59

Would of taken a picture of her taking a picture and reported her for being out and unwell - how cruel

BeKindOrBeQuiet · 27/06/2020 17:03

I think you did well to be so polite

I'd have struggled after she said she had "the flu"

krustykittens · 27/06/2020 17:05

Like you, OP, I do wonder if anti social people wills tart using Covid to threaten others with. First, you were perfectly within your rights not to move and you were a lot politer than I fear I would have been. And I think I would take what she said about having flu as an implied threat because she wasn't getting her own way. If she had flu, she should have stayed well away from others if she truly felt concerned for them. If anyone says this to me, I hope I will confident enough to say, "Are you trying to threaten me?" and hopefully put them on the back foot. There have been too many incidents of this and is very nasty.

tumpymummy · 27/06/2020 17:07

I would have done what you did and moved on. Better to be safe than sorry. But obviously as the other couple said she has mental health issues. Her behaviour was not normal, so I would have just got on out of there and then not thought much more of it.

mumwon · 27/06/2020 17:12

perhaps this needed to be said but she was obviously a self centred bully (always easy to think what you might have said in a situation)
if you have flu you shouldn't be out go away before I report you by phone to the police

MissEliza · 27/06/2020 17:14

Ideally you could have taken her photo and contacted 101. I feel she was using Coronavirus as a threat. You could have put it onto social media as well, just to warn others. However, I can understand you moving away from her. Better safe than sorry.

VeganCow · 27/06/2020 17:15

I would have said well you move then. We are not. She’s a nutter forget it

MsTSwift · 27/06/2020 17:16

Have had numerous unpleasant incidents with older people shouting at us when we are doing perfectly ordinary things like walking down a road 🙄. Sadly the situation has given some carts Blanche to be horrible especially to women with children.

Lorddenning1 · 27/06/2020 17:18

I'd of thrown the fucker in the pond

weathervane1 · 27/06/2020 17:20

I would usually never condone or encourage swearing but if there was ever an occasion where "fuck off" (said so the kids wouldn't hear) is appropriate, this is it. Next time stand up for yourself 😀

Original poster

dandelionsticks · 27/06/2020 17:21

Thanks everyone. Usually, I'd brush off an incident like this but, with everything that's going on right now in the world, it left me feeling out of sorts. Perhaps I felt that I hadn't stuck up for myself well enough so the responses that many of you would have reacted the same way makes me feel a lot better. I did have a smart response in my head about staying home if she had the flu, but that came many moments later in my head when I replayed it!

AllStartedWithUSA, it's entirely possible that it has nothing to do with my skin colour. Unfortunately, my family and I grew up experiencing a lot of overt racism. Whilst it doesn't happen now, only on the odd occasion, I suppose when things like this happen to me, I do wonder if it would have happened if I was white or not a woman. In this case, sounds like it would have happened anyway. So certainly not saying it was racially motivated but hopefully this provides some context and why I perhaps perceive intention related to the colour of my skin that isn't there.

Again, thanks everyone for the kind and reassuring responses.

OP posts:

derxa · 27/06/2020 17:21

Do swans eat oats?

SauvignonBlanche · 27/06/2020 17:24

I do wonder if it would have happened if I was white or not a woman.

I’m sure it would be a lot less likely.

Woman sounds batshit by the way

Jonoula · 27/06/2020 17:26

Clearly yes

timetest · 27/06/2020 17:28

What a rude woman. This situation has made some people act in a totally ridiculous way.

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