Large height difference in adult children- why?

[Lemonsareforlife]

Name changed as kids know I'm always on MN

I have 2 sons.
I'm 5 8 and DP is 5 11
One son was 6 feet tall at 15. He's now 20 and 6 feet one, size 11feet
The 18 year old is 5 feet 5 with size 5 feet. He has barely grown in years.
Same diet etc,

I can only think that he had an operation on undescended testicles at 9. I have HUGE guilt for not spotting this issue before.

Will DS ever grow? Have we left it too late?
DS is very very reserved and will not speak.
It's short for an adult man.

Maybe the op did something?

Was he growth hormone deficient? If not I wouldn't think that a (relatively) late op would make any difference?

I think sometimes genetics just have their own way.. is everyone in your families tall, or do you have shorter parents/grandparents on either side?
I have four children.. one tall boy ..6ft+ one shorter 5'9 Two girls.. one 5'10 and the other barely 5'3... same parents! My family tend to be tall, DH's short and we reckon we two got more of my side and two his.

Also as a ray of hope.. my dh was 5 ft 8 when he was 21... then joined the RAF and grew another two inches! My DD1 also weirdly grew another two inches at University (and I thought girls stopped at about 15) your son may yet growa bit more!

My DF grew till he was 21.

You never know what genetics are going to dish out to you. My brother in law is a big tall broad shouldered man, but both his parents and all his siblings are fairly short and of a slimmer build. His grandfather on one side was a big tall man, so presumably he took it from there.

I am one of five siblings and one is really tall and skinny, whilst the rest of us are fairly short and have a tendency towards putting on weight.

Does it matter if he’s shorter than average? He is who he is.

Why not. Height is based on multiple genes. One child can inherit all the shorter genes from both parents and turn out shorter than either, another child all the taller ones. Other children might get a mixture.

Can you talk to a doctor about your specific concerns?

Sometimes genetics just works out that way. I am 5'2 whereas my sisters a 5'8 same lifestyle parents etc we just turned out differently. 5'5 is short for a man but it wont give him problems in life really he can still be successful and valued as much as his tall brother.

You must not feel guilty. Height does not define a person in terms of happiness, success or health.
My DD’s have a 5 inch height difference, same Dad, sometimes it just happens.

I knew someone who had a theory that the more dc were allowed to sleep the more they grew.
Her first born dc were the ones she got up and out early and had on the go.
By the time the next two came along she’s no time to be waking up kids of a weekend or dragging them out so they got left to sleep more. The latter two are the tallest tallest. The firstborns are regular height.

What a difficult subject this must be to broach. I would like to talk to him about getting medically checked just to be sure, but once you’ve suggested that it’s clear you think he’s deficient in some way (not suggesting you do think that, but he might see it that way).

I don’t think 5.5 at 18 is terribly unusual but size 5 feet does seem small for a fully grown adult. I think he’s probably got a bit more to grow.

I think once I once read something along the lines of height and realising maximum growth potential depends on a number of factors genetics, food and often childhood illness at crucial times.

I don’t whether this makes a difference but I am a good two inches taler than my younger DB and about 5 inches taller than my younger sis. DH is also eldest child and a good 5 inches taller than both his younger DB and sis.

Sometimes it's just the way it is. I'm 5ft 8 with size 8 feet. My sister is 5ft 2 with size 5 feet. Our brother is 6ft1 with size 10 feet.

FWIW my father in law was 5ft 5 with size 5 feet. He was never held back by it!

Height is weird. My nephew and niece are 6'5" and 5'5", despite the normal spread between brother and sister being around 4 inches.

What does gp say about the affect of his testicles not being descended until 9? Did that mean he would enter puberty late?

There is a 5 inch height difference between me & my sister, and a 4.5 inch height difference between DH & his tallest brother.

The biggest difference I know between siblings is my SIL & her brother - over a foot. He is 6ft 4 and she is 5ft 2.

None of the males in DH’s family stopped growing before 22.

Perhaps your son's small stature is related to whatever caused his testicles not to descend - i.e. has the same root cause. Or is that what you meant?

Can you talk to a doctor about your specific concerns?

The OP's son is an adult, he can talk to his GP without his mum.

It's not quite the same but ds2 was always very average height, until he got to his teens and then all his friends grew taller than him. I've got a photo of him getting his GCSE results with all his friends and he is by far the shortest. I think he was about 5'6". Then he had a massive growth spurt, at 18 he was just under 6 foot. He carried on growing until he was 20 and he's now 22 and 6 foot 2.

Your son may still have some growing to do.

My DBs are 6ft 7 and 6ft 3 my dsisare 5ft9 and 5ft8 I am 5ft 2. My DB grew until they were mid 20s I stopped at 14.

I'm 5ft 1 my dsis is 5ft 8 and my other dsis is 5ft 7.
Im the middle sister same parents. I think I just follow grandparents both short it's never occurred to me to wonder why I was the shortest but now come to think of it I do have a few blood complaints so probably the reason!
Dh is 5ft6 and size 9 feet. He's never had any issues with his hight except his younger brother taking mick he's 6ft 2 but different dads.
The only thing that rings alarm bells is his foot size that is fairly small.
Maybe he does need some blood test to check vitamin and hormone levels?

My youngest sister is a lot taller than me - yet she was the petite baby born early that failed to thrive - they were always concerned about her, she was just small as a child. However once she turned 13 she shot up like a beanpole. She's also disgustingly slim and healthy despite a huge appetite like one of our brothers, the rest of us just look at the food they consume and we seem to put on weight without even eating it!

Nothing to do with height but I can see in my own DC that one seems to have inherited everything about her from my side of the family: colouring, nose, hands, feet, body shape etc, where the other one looks nothing like me and clearly takes after DH's and his parents.
So maybe it's just that - one of yours has height from somewhere, and the other has inherited short stature from somewhere else. Were they similarly sized as babies?

My Dp is 5ft 2 and I am 5ft 4
Ds1 is 5ft 9 at 22
Ds2 is 5ft 3 at 21
Ds3 is 5ft 4 at 14
Ds4 is in clothing age 8/9 clothing he is 7
Dd is a year and 9 months behind on height at 5
We only know this because of hand xrays and blood tests
My Dp being 5ft 2 has never been an issue for him nor has it been an issue for our ds2
They both have big personalities and their height has never been a problem.
You could get the blood tests and hand xrays like my dd has had to give u an idea if he is just naturally smaller or has other issues going on
My Dp had growth hormones for over a year as a child and swore that none of our children would go through that if they didnt want to.

My DH has three older brothers and one younger one. He's the tallest at 6' 1. The other four (in birth order) are 5' 5, 5' 11, 5' 10, and 5' 7. Hasn't held the shorter two back at all - both have happy marriages and solid careers.

Though at 18 it is entirely possible he hasn't had his final growth spurt. My mother's best friend has three sons. Two of them were 6-footers by their mid teens, but the youngest was tiny (like 5ft tiny) until he was 17. Then he just started growing like a weed. He finally quit growing at 22, by which time he was 6' 6 and taller than both his older brothers.

It's just genetics.
I'm 5:3 and well built. My sister is very tall and skinny.
My parents are both a reasonable height.

My DSis just takes after DM's side of the family.
Although my DF is reasonably tall. I am very similar to his grandmother, who was know in the family as 'little Grandma'.

I'm 5"2 and my younger sister is 5"11 and I have a brother over 6 feet!

I knew someone who had a theory that the more dc were allowed to sleep the more they grew

Interesting! HGH is released while we sleep, but hardly think this is the "Ah-ha!" moment.

If he's otherwise healthy, I'd say this was "mommy guilt" compounded by lockdown/safe-at-home restrictions.