Large height difference in adult children- why?

[Lemonsareforlife]

Name changed as kids know I'm always on MN

I have 2 sons.
I'm 5 8 and DP is 5 11
One son was 6 feet tall at 15. He's now 20 and 6 feet one, size 11feet
The 18 year old is 5 feet 5 with size 5 feet. He has barely grown in years.
Same diet etc,

I can only think that he had an operation on undescended testicles at 9. I have HUGE guilt for not spotting this issue before.

Will DS ever grow? Have we left it too late?
DS is very very reserved and will not speak.
It's short for an adult man.

Maybe the op did something?

My husband is 8" taller than his brother.

We have two fully grown daughters - one is 8" taller than the other.

Just a whole load of genetic variations as far as I can see.

Whilst Ds2 18 is an adult, I would still go with him to speak to the GP. Or video call now! It is allowed. Even an 28 year old may not be that confident talking about a very delicate issue.
If you're not careful the GP (if he was on his own) may be very dismissive. But if there is clearly parental concern aswell the whole atmosphere may change.

It is possible that some hormonal thing due to the testicle operation delayed growth? And might be easily fixed by a consultant ?

I am very small due to a diabetic doctor changing my diet at primary and I didn't grow for over a year, until my mum voiced concern.

I'm 5'1" my DH is 5'10" our 2 oldest sons are 5'10" (age 32) and 5'11" (age 28). Our youngest who is now 17 on Wed was always very small for his age. When he was around 11 or 12 the doctor had a bone growth test done on him. It turned out he his bone growth was a few years behind, so he had delayed growth. He is now 5'3 or 5'4". The doctor predicted he will probably be 5'8" by the time he stops growing. Could your son have delayed growth and will still add some inches over the next few years?

I have 3 tall brothers. Where two of them were aleays tall for their age, my middle brother was always very small and skinny. It wasnt till the age of about 20 that he shot up and bulked out and is now quite the unit.
At 18 your son could still have growing to do.

I think there is a link between lack of growth hormone and undescended testis, but this is not something you could have known, and may not be correct for him.

He can still grow at this age, I’d maybe get him to see a gp if you can get him to talk about it and he is concerned, as there is still a slim chance he could have growth hormones if he is deficient. Ideally though this would have been years ago.

However if he is perfectly happy I’d leave it well alone, as he is fine as he is and mentioning it could cause problems.

One of my sisters is 5'10"
The other is 5'1"

My ex is a twin: he's 5'7 and his twin is 6'3. So maybe just the way of it.

My youngest two are six foot plus, my eldest is five foot four. I guess they got the short genes from my mothers side whereas the rest of us got my dad's tall genes.

I don't know but I have 3 brothers and we are a family a small people. I'm 5ft 3, 2 brothers 5ft 6 and one brother 6ft 3 it's bizarre!

I would be more concerned that he doesn't speak.

Does that not concern you?

They say that a boy will always be taller than his mother, so if you are 5'8" I would be thinking that he ought to be taller.

Some people don't get that rush of hormones and growth spurt, instead for them, it's more gradual, he could be one of them and he'll get there in the end. But he is 18 . . . I would talk to the Doctors and sooner rather than later as there will come a point when it's too late.

My tallest child ds1 is 6ft, and my smallest is dd2 at 4ft 10in (age17) I assume ds1 follows my brothers and grandfather and dd has drawn the short straw and follows her grandmothers and aunt. I'm 5 foot and was significantly shorter than my siblings.

He’s not short for an adult man. There’s many men the same height and shorter.
You need to look further into your gene pool to see where his height came from.

There will always be a difference in male and female height

I don't mention that his 14 year old sister is now about the same size.

I have broached it gently but I'm rebuffed. He is very reserved and quiet.
He's happy to be "geeky"

I would just like him to be a few inches taller for his own sake.
I still have this enormous guilt about his undescended testicles.
Nothing was made of it at the time. I have convinced myself that is why he is quiet.
I cannot ask if all his ' equipment ' reached development. He'd never, ever forgive me.

I wonder if he will grow over the next couple of years?

They say that a boy will always be taller than his mother. 'They' are wrong. Geneticists, human bioligists and doctors do not say this.

They know that there is no biological mechanism that could ensure this. (How would that work? Which part of the body goes 'oh no! this boy is turning out too small, compared to his mother - a completely separate biological entity - do something!).

You only have to think about it to understand this. Each parent passes on a set of height genes (you could imagine ten genes each), that are a sub-set of their own mixture of height genes. The parents' genes could be very wide-ranging, or quite homogenous. You can't know this. On average, a child will receive a mix of each parents' taller and shorter genes. Less commonly a child will receive all the mother's 'small genes' and all the father's 'small genes'. This could easily result in a short man, who is shorter than a medium-height woman (her height being an average of small and tall genes) .

R4s 'More or Less' covered this and its statistical probability a few years ago. As I recall, boys shorter than both parents are much less common than girls taller than both parents.

I actually think you need to back off and leave him alone or you will give him a complex.
He is what he is leave it. And he’s got two testicles I assume, he doesn’t need the other.

Sorry, had two testicles.

Undiagnosed Coeliac disease?

May be late puberty?

Does he need to shave yet, have hairy legs, voice broken, face changed to more masculine etc?

I know a few boys who did not hit that stage of puberty until college

If he's happy with his height why can't you be? My husband is 5,5 he's a doctor and has a family. He's never complained about his height.

He may grow a few more inches, he may not. I don't think it's an issue if he's happy and confident in himself.

What about other signs of puberty. Do you think he has reached full puberty? Hair, voice, broadening etc. If you think his late op may have had an impact on his height, the lack of testosterone would have affected other aspects of puberty. He could just be a late developer.
If you’re really concerned, visit your GP. They can test hormones and you can also have a bone growth scan but I’m not sure how relatable this is. I feel it’s his foot size rather than his height that is unusual.

It is short for n adult man-but it shouldn't matter tbh.

My son is short, as am I husband tall, daughter same height as son.

When I read on here "I couldn't date a short man"-as if there's something wrong/inferior about a short man!

It's heartbreaking tbh.

Can you speak to his gp and then arrange for him to see the gp? It might not be too late to check all is ok with growth hormones. Does he look like he has been through puberty?

a mixture of genes, diet and exercise.

Men often don't finish growing until their very late teens/early 20s. My DH was 5'1 at age 18. He's 6' now. He says he grew nearly a foot in the space of about a year.