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Original poster

What’s your relationship like with your dad?

100 replies

RosieLemonade · 21/06/2020 11:28

I haven’t seen my biological father in years. I very often forget that he must exist somewhere in the world.
My relationship with my stepdad is very strained. He has made some awful choices in his life and hurt a lot of people. He isn’t with my mum anymore so I don’t actually know what our relationship is. I sent a card and text him today.
I find it so unrelatable when people have happy healthy relationships with their fathers 😳😳😳

OP posts:

Anotherdayanothernight · 21/06/2020 20:34

See him once or twice a year, my parents broke up when I was 1. Used to spend part of my summer holiday with him as a kid, he was never that interested, good thing my grandparents were. We get on, he likes to blag about how his way of life is better than anyone else, and it's pretty much my way or the highway... But for support, na

ListenLinda · 21/06/2020 20:37

The best. I love him and I love how much he loves his grandchildren.

We have our different views on life etc but he is the best and he is my Dad. The best man I know, including DH.

I am lucky to have him.

autopilotpeach · 21/06/2020 20:56

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Families

LaughingDonkey · 21/06/2020 21:03

I haven't seen/spoken to him for 17 years now. I do not know if he is even alive and I do not care :)

Three most vivid childhood memories:
*Severely beating our cat (I wish I have done something and I feel utter regret I haven't stood up to him no matter how little I was);
*Dragging me out of the house to go to grandparents because he lost a bet gambling and ''bad people will come for his family'' (he had his arm broken few days after this - he claimed he slipped on rails - whaaaat???);
*Trying to rape my mother when I (10 years old) came over him clutching a lamp to hit him in the head if he will advance (he was in shock so he stopped).

Due to his gambling our family lost a house, car and inheritance. He also did everything so he could to avoid paying child maintenance (even if he has insured it was minimum). But.. we survived and I never want to know/hear from him again.

Boredbumhead · 21/06/2020 21:06

He was quite cruel to my mother growing up and I've never quite forgiven him for it even though he is nice to me now. I somehow shut my feelings off to him quote young as he used to get stressed with work and have volatile outbursts. I worry I've picked some of that up. Though I fight against it.

DanniArthur · 21/06/2020 22:37

I know what you mean. My dad is an alcoholic who physically abused my mum and psychologically abused me so I haven't spoken to him since I was 14 since I testified against him in court. He often comments on my sister's Facebook statuses (she has a tentative relationship with him) but we generally pretend each other don't exist. It stings a bit seeing all these fathers day posts but I'm soo grateful for the wonderful father my DP is. My DD is so lucky to have him.

Mumoblue · 21/06/2020 22:46

I last saw him in 2016.

He pops up about once every 5 years or so to tell me how terrible his life is and how he's a victim of everyone, but he's turning his life around this time! Rinse, repeat, see you in five years.

If I sound mad, I'm not. I have a great stepdad and I'm close to my grandad. I never felt like I was missing out. My interactions with my real dad are just a funny day I have every now and then.

Though I had a baby this year. It's not his first grandchild but it's my first baby. I did think he might emerge, but we're still on radio silence. (I dont know his phone number or where he lives, and he doesn't use Facebook).

Then again I also found out he's apparently dating someone four or five years younger than me (yeah...) and he doesn't tend to visit when he has a girlfriend. Maybe he feels weird about this one. I dont know.

notsodimwit · 22/06/2020 04:52

Don't like anything at all about him! I couldn't care less about him, he is a shit father!

Poetryinaction · 22/06/2020 07:36

Superficial is a good word for it, as a pp said.
My dad is the most boring man you could ever meet. He doesn't talk much, but when he does it is a long, convoluted tale about something mundane like taking an item back to a shop. It will be peppered with judgements about people, and usually end with how he came out looking better.
He is mean with his money and his time. When we visit with the kids he plays golf or is ill in bed. When we were growing up he shouted a lot and sometimes hit us.
Yet my mum thinks he is some kind of god. She says he is kind, gentle and fun. And professes that we all love him to bits.

NoraLuka · 22/06/2020 07:42

I’ve spoken to my Dad more in the 6 years since my Mum died than in my whole life previously, and I’m nearly 40 now. I think he just didn’t ‘get’ children and teenagers and it’s easier for him now I’m an adult. If he ever had anything to say to me or my brother he’d say it to my Mum and she’d pass it on. Our relationship is ok now and I see him every few weeks.

ExclamationPerfume · 22/06/2020 07:44

He's my hero. He has had some traumatic times but he gets through everything with humour. He would do anything for me at the drop of a hat. I am so lucky to have him and my mum they are amazing.

vampirethriller · 22/06/2020 07:48

He's an alcoholic and likes drink more than any of his children. We get on ok now if I don't think of him as my father, just as a man I know.

022828MAN · 22/06/2020 07:49

Basically non existent. He was an abusive alcoholic, we didn't speak for years and I've since attempted on and off to have some sort of relationship, but it's pointless. He doesn't give 2 shits about me and to be honest the feeling is mutual. When he dies it won't effect me in the slightest.

Zoflorabore · 22/06/2020 08:00

My dad is bloody amazing. I’m much closer to him than I am to my mum and always have been. They got together when they were 13, married at 18 and I was the first born when they were 21. They split up 12 years ago and are both re-married.

My dad is 63 and I’m 42. We both love reading and I have his personality. He has helped me out so much over the years, practically, emotionally and financially.

If I need anything he is there. My 2 younger brothers are closer to our mum but I am a total daddy’s girl. He sometimes still tells me off like I’m a kid but we get on brilliantly and talk every day on the phone.

I know I’m very lucky.

Spaceman1 · 22/06/2020 08:26

My dad was cruel and I cut him out of my life when I turned 21 and never spoke to him again. Best thing I ever did.

Blueuggboots · 22/06/2020 09:50

My dad has always been difficult but we were close despite this.
As I got older and developed my own opinions and became more aware of how fucked up his and my mum' s relationship actually was, we had periods of difficulties.
When my mum finally decided to divorce him, and I didn't pamper to his every whim, he disinherited me and my brother and wrote some very hurtful things.
I now see him about every 6 weeks max as he likes to see my son. His girlfriend is lovely!!!

Jeremyironsnothing · 22/06/2020 09:55

Amazing.
I thought he was perfect until I was in my 30's and I took many of his views on board, as I thought he was the ultimate Oracle. I now realise he is as flawed as the rest of us, but he's still the best dad in the world.

Ginger1982 · 22/06/2020 09:55

I lost mine as a teenager. I wish I knew what kind of relationship we would have now. I think we'd be pretty close.

MegaClutterSlut · 22/06/2020 10:12

My dad genuinely was an amazing dad up until he left my mum, I was about 12. Then after that it was just birthday and an xmas visit. This is still the case now I'm late 30s

Pepperwand · 22/06/2020 12:58

Love him to bits and wish I saw him more (live opposite ends of the country). He's not perfect, has a short fuse which I got off him but he's also hard working and funny and we have a lot of things in common. We're not the type to say I love you to each other but if I was ever in trouble I know he'd be there in a heartbeat.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 22/06/2020 13:01

I love my dad. We sometimes have a fiery relationship but there's a strong love underneath and I know he cares about all his children deeply.

We all chose to go and live with him as older kids, after he split up with my mum when we were younger. He could have said no, he had a new family of his own by then, but he was there for us (mother had MH probs)

I had an excellent father's day yesterday, he came round for a meal with my step mum, and I was thinking I hope he's around for many more (he's late 70s)

MsLumley · 22/06/2020 14:25

Non existent after I cut contact with him as a teenager. I don't regret it at all, he was a horrible man and I'm glad he's not in my life but I really wish I'd been born into a nice, friendly, even vaguely happy family. I'm very jealous of friends who have lovely dads (not openly, of course) and I find Father's Day very difficult indeed.

ItWasntMyFault · 22/06/2020 14:34

My dad is the best I could ever possibly want.
He's in his 80s now so I've missed not being able to give him a hug recently but I speak to him once or twice a week. He's still very active which is great.
I know he loves me and would do anything he could for me and I would do the same for him.

heynori · 22/06/2020 14:41

Non-existent.

My parents divorced when I was young. He was an alcoholic with a myriad mental health issues. Didn't see him much. Then he committed suicide when I was in my late teens.

I'm jealous of posters on here who have lovely fathers.

WildRosie · 22/06/2020 20:57

Unless I've misread the mood here, there's an awful lot of deadbeat dads out there. I think I got off lightly compared to some of the stories on here. Nevertheless, he was still a frequently angry, difficult, hard-work son of a bitch. And spoke to some people like dirt. I really had to bite my tongue at the cremation when the Vicar (whom he'd met once) was wittering on about the creative, resourceful gent he was. WTF would you know about it ? I wont forget he was a capable and reliable provider but that was more or less all he was good for. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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