What’s your relationship like with your dad?

[RosieLemonade]

I haven’t seen my biological father in years. I very often forget that he must exist somewhere in the world.
My relationship with my stepdad is very strained. He has made some awful choices in his life and hurt a lot of people. He isn’t with my mum anymore so I don’t actually know what our relationship is. I sent a card and text him today.
I find it so unrelatable when people have happy healthy relationships with their fathers 😳😳😳

My dad died aged 54, 21 years ago this month. He was hard working despite a chronic condition, and had a great sense of humour. Never saw me married or any of his GC. He would have been the 'fun' grandparent. I miss him.

Non existent. I’m 26 and I haven’t seen him for 12 years and it’s no loss.
He is a cruel, emotionally abusive man who lies as easily as he breathes and rewrites history to paint himself as a kindly father who is wounded deeply by his children turning our backs on him. He’s also violent, and seriously hurt us many times.
Everyone else thinks he’s a well spoken, intelligent and absolutely charming gentleman. They’re wrong.

My mum remarried, and he was sexually abusive.

However, I feel very lucky to have a fantastic father in law. He’s kind and funny and would do anything for me and DH.

Low-contact. He was an alcoholic, angry, arrogant, abusive arsehole when growing up. From the physically scary, shouty, sweary, throwing things to the emotional abuse and control. One particular example stands out when I was a late teenager - he used to listen to a particular radio show loudly at about 1am Sat night, I'd go downstairs and ask him to turn it down, he'd laugh manically in my face and turn it even louder.

He's mellowed a little with age (69 next month), but only because he needs us. He's still an alcoholic. I did see him briefly today but mainly because my mum died earlier in the year and I felt like I should. Certain symptoms made me wonder if he is finally developing liver disease.

My dad died very suddenly nearly 10 years ago. He was my idol and I still miss him every day. We had an amazing relationship and he lived with us for the last few years of his life, after my mum died. My son worshipped him and was devastated by his death. I'm pretty sure my son feels the same way about his dad as I do mine. I feel very blessed for having/had such great men in my life.

Fantastic. When I was 12 my mum left and we stayed with dad. He dealt with me as a grumpy teenager and was both mum and dad to me, until he married my lovely stepmum.

He's a brilliant grandpa to my 3 almost-grown-up children as well as to my siblings and step siblings little grandchildren.

I can't imagine life without him in it. Luckily he's a very healthy 75.

And yes, it is so bizarre reading about great father relationships. (Or parent relationships, really.. My mum never stood up to him and would often run away from him and lock herself in the toilet leaving us with him and begging her to open the door. She was pretty heavily dependent on alcohol too and would often just pass out on the sofa at 8pm. Pretty sure alcohol played a role in the development of her dementia).

So so. We have similar personalities so clashed a lot when I was growing up. As a teenager he knew how to wind me up and would delight in doing so. He is quite controlling of my lovely Mum and has no one else in his life but her so he has to die first. If she goes first he will either commit suicide or drink himself to death. He won't cope on his own and me and brother live too far away to help.

It's OK. He left my. Mum and me when I was very young and my step dad brought me up he's the man I see as my dad. Though my bio dad has always been in my life and I do love him to bits, I don't see much of him (not his fault I live in a different country)and I just feel like it's a bit forced at times like he doesn't really know me.my dad's side of the family are all such lovely people and I'm very close to my gran and aunt even though don't see them much either. Step dad is my rock I love him so much.

Nonexistent. He wasn't fit for fatherhood, he's a multiple felon. I stopped seeing him when I was 11. He has 4 other children (all younger than me) that he has never supported either

I love my Dad.

He's always been there for me, he has a really cheery disposition, is funny and very intelligent and political so we always end up debating and putting the world to rights for hours when we chat.

I use to learn so much off him. He seemed to be a walking encyclopedia, in fact in the days before google it was a standing joke with friends and family that if needed answer to something just ring X

He was very humble about it though, I don't think he ever believed how everyone around him saw him as fountain of knowledge.

He's a good listener too.

He isn't perfect but no body is, but he's kind hearted, thoughtful and caring.

He’s amazing. He has literally dropped everything 3 times to move in and care for me at various points over the last 3 years. He’s single but mum is married and so he has always been the one to ride to my help, even though I’ve never asked him to. I love my mum to bits. I absolutely adore my dad.

I wish I had a dad like my children do.

Threw me out of family home when I was 19 (luckily I was at uni and my best friend's parents took me in during hols) Strained before that. Mum had left him when I was 17 taking siblings with her.

Tried to reconcile when I was 27 when he was in a rented one bed. All he could do was talk about himself and his travel ( I had just come back from a few years in Japan) and there was no apology for what had happened.

Had a phone call when I was 33 ish to say a man was in the morgue and had been there for 6 weeks and perhaps he was some distant relation?? He had died in sheltered accommodation on his own. Stated on his info form that he had no family despite having 4 pretty decent kids. died from smoking and drinking related illnesses.

Now 47 and rarely think about him.

Similar to you @RosieLemonade. No idea if my dad is even still alive. Growing up he just drifted in and out of mine and my brother's lives and I last saw him briefly about 11 years ago. He has never met two of my three DC.

My stepdad was not a nice person either and never spoke to me as a child, glad my mum and he split some years ago for her sake. He was a pig. Both of these men have left with me a combination of resentment, abandonment, trust and confidence issues among other things. As a result, Fathers Day means absolutely nothing to me personally, never has and every year whilst I acknowledge it for my DC and DHs sake, I find it such a weird day!

I haven’t seen my biological father in years. I very often forget that he must exist somewhere in the world.

This summarises my relationship with my dad too. I haven’t spoken to him in 20 years. I hadn’t even given him any thought today until I opened this thread.

I have no real relationship with my stepdad and a limited and strained relationship with my mother (and sister). I haven’t seen or even spoken to either of them (even on the phone) since the 27th December. There’s a ‘family’ WhatsApp group that we’ve exchanged a few messages in. But honestly, it’s about a short message exchange every month or two. And the messages are pretty much exclusively about DS.

I sometimes wonder if it’s me but I don’t think it is. I was very close to my ex-PILs and I think they’d actually rather have kept me than their son when we split. I certainly would rather have them than my parents. So I have to conclude that I just got a crappy family.

My Dad is dead, but it was pretty poor. I've posted about it extensively on MN under various usernames over the years.

I am from a reasonably well off middle class family but that is all down to my Dad bettering himself from his ever so 'umble East End Cockney background and earning a decent living. Perhaps we were nouveau riche.

However, he upped sticks and left when I was 10. He was a dinosaur in terms of womens place V mens place in the home so I only ever saw him for Sunday afternoons after the age of 10. Then he married someone else 17 years younger than him and had 3 more children.

We had a distant relationship and I didn't admire him in terms of his politics or his views on women. He had 5 children overall - 3 boys and 2 girls, and yet the 3 executors of his will were the boys.

He died 9 years ago and I don't miss him. I pretend I do for the sake of my siblings and my step-mother.

But actually he was one of the least influential or important people in my life.

I had a brilliant Dad who sadly died at 69. I don't think that I really appreciated him as much as I should have. I didn't expect to lose him when I was 35, it was very sudden.
I'm more appreciative of my Mum now.

My dh has a terrible relationship with his Dad who is very poisonous and they're practically NC now.

to those with difficult or non-existent relationships with their father.

My Dad became very ill last year so it has turned from him always rushing to the rescue and looking after us, to us looking after him.

As a family we are very close, and he is immensely proud of all of us.

Growing up he worked so hard to provide for us, at one point he worked 12 hour night shifts, 7 days a week for 6 months...no break, no days off, because they were skint and wanted to provide for us.

We are very lucky.

I haven’t seen my biological father in years. I very often forget that he must exist somewhere in the
I find it so unrelatable when people have happy healthy relationships with their fathers 😳😳😳

This is me too. Haven't seen him for many many years.

I hate Father's Day. I get so upset seeing SM on Father's Day so I don't look. I wish I'd had an amazing Dad too

I feel so sad for what I missed out on, what our DC missed out on too. A lovely grandfather. Sad.

My dad is amazing, best man I have ever known and has always been there for me, my siblings and his grandchildren. He has strong morals, but never judges when any of us mess up. I know I’m so lucky to have him in my life.

Ive seen my bioloigal once at a funeral since I was 7 when he decided he didnt want to bother anymore. My Step Dad I really resent the bullying and controlling way he was with me

Crap. He was violent and abusive growing up. Terrorised us. I'm not the forgiving kind. He rings occasionally and I don't pick up. My mum sometimes takes my dd to visit him which I allow to avoid an argument. He's too old and fat to do much now

My dad died when I was in my thirties. We didn't have a good relationship and as an adult I only saw him once a year. He was physically and emotionally abusive to my mum and us. He didn't talk to us normally ever.

I don't care anymore but it must be amazing to have a good dad.

He is dead, and I am happy about it. If he were alive I wouldn't spit in his face if his nose was on fire.