What’s your relationship like with your dad?

[RosieLemonade]

I haven’t seen my biological father in years. I very often forget that he must exist somewhere in the world.
My relationship with my stepdad is very strained. He has made some awful choices in his life and hurt a lot of people. He isn’t with my mum anymore so I don’t actually know what our relationship is. I sent a card and text him today.
I find it so unrelatable when people have happy healthy relationships with their fathers 😳😳😳

I don't know my biological father. I mean, he exists somewhere in the world and was around for the first few months of my life before buggering off, but that's it. I don't care though - my mum is fab and gave me a very happy childhood! It has been odd having DC and seeing DH interact with them - I didn't really know what to expect as I didn't have a father figure as a child, but DH is great, does loads with and for them and absolutely dotes on them. It's been lovely.

I am 48 and have never sent my df a card. As a dc he never saw me unless at my house with dm hovering nearby... She blamed him for me not seeing him but how could we forge any sort of relationship under her eye? Admittedly he should have sought legal advice but we moved at least yearly so can't imagine he would have gotten far legally if I was off radar... As an adult he allowed his next dw to also control his relationship me until it was zero. Haven't seen him for over 20 years. He doesn't even know how many dgc he has..
From a weak, meek man became a lonely old man I suspect....
Or maybe he is fine with his choices.
Who knows?

I love my dad and wish we could spend more time together.

We're both a bit crap at keeping in touch and when we do talk I often get a rather good view of his left ear on Skype.

When we do spend time together it is very easy. I feel he relaxes around me and I enjoy his company, we have similar interests and share a sense of humour. He's an interesting person.

He has his quirks which are now kind of lovable but we're very embarrassing when I was a teen.

I feel a bit sad we're not closer and as he ages I realise I won't get many more opportunities to spend time with him.

I hope I'm not rubbing it in as you said it's pretty unrelatable for you when someone does have a good relationship with their dad. However, my relationship with my mother is a bit of a shitshow and they're a pair so I don't get time with just my dad often. I do get how sad it can be when your family are not quite as you'd hope

Very superficial. He has been a selfish person for too long. I know he loves my brother and I in his own way, but he loves himself far far more. He was vile to my mother during their divorce, despite him being the one that had an affair. My Mum has never ever once uttered a bad word against him, not because she's remained in love with him (she remarried), but because she knew it would affect my brother and I. My Dad continues to be wildly jealous of our relationship (despite the fact that I'm not massively close to my Mum either!).

My brother and I both barely tolerate him, mostly out of pity. I haven't seen him since October, despite him living 30 minutes away and us both driving. He's basically like an old batchelor uncle or something that I don't have much to do with but feel some sort of duty.

Strained. He is so self absorbed, he doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself. He enabled my abusive mother and he was sexually inappropriate with me as a teenager.

If i call home he never wants to speak to me unless my mum is not there and then he won't shut up. I can't be doing with him, he's 80 now. I have no respect for him. We are not close, I know nothing about him and his family as he will not speak about them. He is an attention seeking pain in the arse and I would say our relationship is superficial.

I think my mother is the way she is / was because of my father. I couldn't see it as a young kid but as an adult I can see that actually he is emotionally abusive towards her.

I feel very sad. I look at the good relationship others have with their father s and wish mine could be the same.

Non existent. My dad left my mum after a year long affair when I was 18. Literally walked out of the house with just the clothes on his back and never returned. He's made a few attempts over the years to rebuild a relationship with me, but I've never been interested. As far as I'm concerned, I've lived almost as much of my life without him now as I did with him growing up, so he doesn't know me 🤷🏼‍♀️

My stepdad was a lovely man, but unfortunately passed away around this time last year. For the 10 years or so that he was in my life I always made the effort to take a card/gift on Father's Day etc. He was a collector of red wines and we'll be raising a glass in his memory this evening

My father was on and off with my mother for around 20 years family dynamics were odd to say the least. He had numerous children to other women and whilst he was with my mother also. As a child me and my brother would often go 18months without seeing our father. Then my mother would get back with him. She had met him at 17 and my dad was 10 years older than her. I don’t see my dad and he has met his grandchild once at a funeral..... and once when I bumped into him into town. Promised to call me in 2018 never heard back since!! Although I have 2 younger sisters (full siblings) they have had more recent contact.
There was a family wedding on my dads side but I missed it due to travelling my 2 sisters attended.

It’s a shambles.

Mine is distant and strained
He was hardly around when I was young and then we had no contact for almost 20 years.
He heard I’d had DD 6 about 4 years ago and made the effort to track me down and get in touch. I’m cordial and happy enough for him and his wife to be part of her life but we’ll never be close

I don't have one. Didn't talk to dad for a few years as late teen/early 20's (his choice) then we were reasonably close for neat a decade then he cut me off again and we haven't spoken for 11 years. Occasionally see each other at family weddings but he ignores me.

He has 5 kids and has no relationship with two of us and next to no relationship with the other three. He is a pretty terrible father and I'm happy he cut me off when my children were babies so he couldn't hurt them like he has hurt me.

Distant. I thought he was a decent father until I stood up to him about something minor and needed support for something else a few years ago. He had a disproportionately large go at me for the first, failed spectacularly on the second (I mean, who doesn't hug their DC when they see them the day after they've been diagnosed with cancer?). I then realised he's never been supportive.

We visit him once or twice a year. Mainly so he can see DS.

I'm 53, not seen my 'father' since I was 18 months old. My 'step father' has been in my life since I was 4 but has only spoken to me maybe a dozen times or so including the time we lived in the same house when I was 17/18. I was brought up in part by a grandfather who wasn't really a family man. He was away in the army when his daughters were children and had no patience with DB and I unless it was to impress others. It is safe to say I have no father figures in my life. Fathers day has never been a thing to me.

My step-dad was lovely, very helpful and kind and had a great sense of humour (as well as being a bit miserable and grumpy at times). He always worked hard and was very generous with his time and skills. He made my mum happy.

My dad is quite the opposite. I see him regularly now because he's infirm, confused, half drag, ageing and vulnerable which is difficult to see as he always used to be strong and fit. He and my mum split when I was 3 and all I can remember from before then was their arguments and shouting so I'm glad they did. I hated having to go to his house on weekends because it was messy, cold and miserable and he would leave us overnight to go to the pub and then come back steaming drunk. As I grew into an adult he was alright but I hated seeing him drunk and heart would sink when he'd ring me late at night to rave on about how much he loved his "fucking gorgeous daughters".

Great. It wasn’t when I was younger but as I became a teenager we started to get closer and now he’s the person I turn to when everything is wrong. He’s great.

My mother had a four year battle with a debilitating illness and my father became a widower at the age of 45.

I always tell people that he lost his wife on a Friday, buried her on a Monday and went back to work on Tuesday. He had me, a ten-year-old child to support, after all and was a good provider and a truly lovely man.

He was quite lonely after two years and began a relationship with a toxic woman who was the complete opposite of my mother. She drove a wedge between my older sister and me and our father. He stopped being a loving man to a man filled with bitterness who lacked warmth for his daughters and started to feel resentment for us. I left home at 19 and moved far away from her and him or else lose my father forever.

It took distance and a great deal of time to repair our relationship. He finally saw his behavior through my eyes and took responsibility for the harm he caused to our family. I also understood that he spent so many years caring for my mother that when she died, he wanted someone to look after him and he chose a less than suitable partner. They did stay together but their relationship completely changed throughout their years together. She never apologized for being a horrible bitch but she gave me more respect and we eventually accepted each other. They were together for 28 years.

My dad died nine years ago and I am glad that we repaired our relationship. I miss him every day.

The best! Always happy, positive, funny and supportive. I feel very lucky and fortunate.

I am the product of an affair my mum had (I found out by accident one day and neither of my parents know that I know). I am the middle child and my dad is fantastic. He treats us all the same and I love him with all my heart. He could easily have walked away, treated me differently, insisted I never call him dad, but he did none of those things. I know nothing of my biological father and have zero interest in him or his life. The man that took me on as one of his own and showed me nothing but kindness and love is the only dad I want.

Pretty good. He was always there when we were kids. No golf or other hobbies taking priority over his family.

I know he loves me, my siblings and his grandchildren very much.

Really good we have a laugh, he shows me affection , he would help me with anything he would probably moan about it but he would do it. We have always been close but My wonderful mum has just passed away 7 weeks ago they were married for 45 years and the best of friends. It's very strange worrying about a parent as much as I am worrying about him right now.
We only live about 20 minutes away but early next year we will be moving back to my home village where dad is as I think this will help us both for the foreseeable. As heartbreaking as it is to lose mum I think this will only bring us even closer

Distant. I saw him most weeks as a child, when he’d pick me up from my mum’s and drop me off with someone while he went to the bookies.

I saw him less and less as a teenager until he moved abroad when I was 18. Since then I’ve seen him maybe 5-6 times. I’m 28 now. I rarely think of him.

I have him as a friend on Facebook. Bizarrely he’s now remarried and seems to have a good relationship with his step children. I don’t feel bitter about it, just confused. He never really showed any interest in being a dad to me.

I’m very lucky that I have a wonderful stepdad and I was blessed with THE best grandad in the world who sadly died a few years ago.

I lost mine about a year ago and I miss him.

He was just Dad when I was growing up. Always there. Him and mum v much came as a package deal. Very intellectually curious which he passed to us, very proud of our achievements. Not too demonstrative but we knew he loved the bones of us. Devoted grandfather.

But he could be impatient, grumpy and a bit down in the dumps. Wasn't always big on the gestures and needed his own space quite a lot.

I had a very happy childhood and he was no small part of that.

My dad is amazing. Best man I've ever known. Thoughtful, kind, hard working, great with grandkids. We're all grown 40 down to 30 and he still insists on looking after us, paying for family holidays, meals, days out etc. I feel so lucky to have him as my dad.

Great. I pretty much tell him everything.

I had a little cry today. I haven't seen him in a long time, he's moved far away with his wife. Never met my sons, but I do love him and I sent a text to let him know today and that I haven't forgotten about him.

My dad is awesome, he is one of my best pals. I used to shy away from talking to my mum about female issues but instead tell my dad. He used to get all embarrassed and say "I don't know much about that, but I'll come with you to the doctor and wait."

Total legend he is, I love him loads.