Are people going to judge me for having 4 kids?

[AncientandPregnant]

I’m accidentally pregnant with a 4th. Already on this site I have had a few snide comments about the impact on the environment and other things.

This was a shock pregnancy. I considered terminating but can’t bring myself to. But now I’m terrified that I’m real life people may judge me and think I’m selfish and/or crazy.

I keep trying to justify it in my head: we are financially secure, I have a good career, I have always used reusable nappies, I’m an only child and both my parents died before I was an adult so our family impact on the earth has been lower than most up to now. But clearly I can’t wear a badge stating these facts in real life.

What do you think when you see someone with 4 kids? Would you think them selfish or crazy?

As long as you are not expecting the taxpayer to support them, the number of children you choose to have is none of anybody else’s business. It’s your life, not theirs, so live it as you want to. People will think what they want to think. You can’t change that, so why waste time and energy worrying about it?

Congratulations

I couldn't care less about the environmental impact to be honest.

Personally, having four kids would tip me over the edge! I'd probably wonder how you cope.

Apart from that, I have no opinion really. In the nicest possible way, rather you than me!

Congratulations OP.

Fuck anyone else's judgy opinions if they make you feel bad. It is your life.

Congratulations Op.
I have 3 children and was thinking about a 4th.This pandemic has put me off though because you just don't know what's around the corner so il be sticking with 3. Both me and husband have good jobs but not rich. I am 1 of 4 and dh is 1 of 7 so big families is the norm for us. anybody who judges someone for the amount of kids they have need to concentrate on their own lives.

This has made me realise that aside from my aunt (who kids are now between 40-60 years old) I don't know anyone with more than three kids. Even in passing. I can't even think of any families with more than three that I see in the school playground. How strange.

I think everyone judges to some degree. I would probably briefly think 'that's not good for the environment', but I certainly wouldn't say anything or behave differently towards someone because of it.

Some will, I won,t.. Let them judge.

I have an only and am judged. I think you will get judged for anything more or less than 2 tbh.

I won’t judge you, a huge congratulations to you and your family from me xx

Congratulations!

I have 4 kids - had my 4th at 41 a couple of years ago. All planned! Both dh & I are one of 3 and really wanted 2 or 4 children. I’m really grateful to have had 4.

We are financially stable and the older ones don’t have to look after the younger ones at all (kids are 10, 8, 5 & 2 - all girls other than my eldest who is a boy).

Most people think I’m crazy but they don’t say anything negative to my face - maybe they do behind my back...

I know quite a few people with 4 children - all similar situations to us.

Good luck!

I have four.. and they are very close in age.. (now adults.. 28,27,26 and 23)
We aren't wealthy, but neither are we on the bread line, my children all got plenty of attention and have done well at school (youngest has disabilities and his life will be depdendent on us but he's fab) two are in medical careers, and one is on the other side of the world making music.. no one dipped out and they are all very close.. and I loved it when they were small and I love it now.

Downsides.. no we couldn't buy them cars, or houses, but they have all made their own way in the world and they had a lot of fun together as children.

I don't remember being judged..I do remember people saying ' I don't know how you do it!' but tbh when you have three...one more doesn't really add to the load :)

I just feel lucky we were able to have a larger family, and love to see other 4+ families!