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Original poster

What advice would you give your 20 year old self?

110 replies

turquoiseglanville · 12/06/2020 16:04

Title says it all really - I'm 20 and would love to know what you'd advise yourself and/or me. Could be anything!

OP posts:
Destroyedpeople · 12/06/2020 18:59

Grinyes wear Sunscreen like BazLuhrmanm said. ...

BlessYourCottonSocks · 12/06/2020 18:59

Raise your standards about boys/men WAAAAY higher. You are so desperate to be loved you'll pretend any arsehole will do. And they really won't. Be alone and confident rather than treated like shit by someone who's really nothing special.

Work hard. Stop pissing about doing crap and invest in the career you will - eventually - have. But you could have had it a lot earlier.

Start saving. 30 odd years down the line, when you are still skint you'll wonder why the fuck everyone else can afford holidays and are not still living off their overdraft like you are. Then you'll eventually realise that you spend huge amounts of money on shit you don't need.

Appreciate your body. I was thin and sporty and never thought I looked good. And when you hit 40 please realise that now you don't do any sport you can't eat everything in sight like you used to be able to. I weighed the same from being 14 - 45 and was a decent size 12. I'm now ten years older, post menopause and a size 20. If you put on 1lb a week you can put on 4 stone in a year, somewhat to my surprise. Fuck knows how I didn't work that out before I'd put on 6 stone.

missmouse101 · 12/06/2020 19:01

You don't need to get married to please your parents. Trust your preference to live alone and feel free. It's totally fine not to share your life with a man and totally fine to not have children. ONLY do it if you are 100% sure you want them. A child is a beautiful little baby for a VERY short time, then you have years and years and years of managing a toddler /child/teenager/young adult. You won't be some magical hippy mum either, like you expect to be.

namesnamesnamesnames · 12/06/2020 19:04

Save. Have a pension and save. It may seem a long way off and too much fun to buy clothes and make up every weekend but really...you should also save.

swaywithme · 12/06/2020 19:50

Get yourself a NICE boyfriend who adores you. Don't settle for less. Not just nice to you, but nice to everyone. Look at how he treats his parents, friends and the people around him.

Don't give a fuck about what others think of you.

EmpressLangClegInChair · 12/06/2020 19:52

In 10 years time you’ll think you’re in love & that she’s The One.

Run very fast and don’t look back.

Oh and learn to code.

LuxLuxLux84 · 12/06/2020 20:10

Have the baby.

Paddybare · 12/06/2020 20:28

Travel as much as you can pre-kids, get on the housing ladder if you possibly can, don’t ‘settle’ for anything, be bold when job hunting/moving, be careful with money, have fun, enjoy your friends and make time for them as they will likely dwindle over the years.

RunningNinja79 · 12/06/2020 20:46

Travel while you can. Take up running, you'll really enjoy it.

KaTetof19 · 12/06/2020 20:56

Say no more often

Sn0tnose · 12/06/2020 22:30

Get the credit cards if you must, but tuck them away safely, only use them in an emergency and pay them off each month. Open a savings account and actually put money in it.

You’re having a brilliant time going out with your gang of friends every weekend and you’ll have lots of fantastic memories from this time, but make more of your youth. Now is the time to go travelling, to go to festivals, to do all of the things you’ll feel too old and responsible to do in your forties.

Don’t settle. Don’t settle for a job you hate. Don’t settle for boyfriends who want you to stay in every night and who think it’s ok to buy a toilet seat as a Christmas present. Equally, don’t settle for men who are just are not good enough. You know they’re time wasters. Have a flirt if you must then go back to having fun with your friends. You’re young. These men are not going to be around for long. You know what they’re getting from you but what are you getting from them? They are genuinely not worth the lipstick.

Appreciate yourself. Know your worth. You are capable and strong. You’re much prettier and slimmer than you think you are. Buy good bras. Leave your eyebrows alone. Learn who you are. What do you like? What’s your taste?

Don’t drink Bacardi. Nothing good will ever come from drinking Bacardi.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 12/06/2020 22:36

Don't marry him - he's a human turd
The degrees are a good idea and they will work out well so don't even doubt it
Don't do teacher training and go into that profession - it's a waste of time and industry will be better
Another one who should have left her eyebrows well alone!
Don't try to fit in - you never will and it's exhausting

Lisette1940 · 12/06/2020 23:22

Don't listen to your mother on any subject. Don't take that first job after Uni, get something better. You are good enough, just under confident. Oh and take up running. Keep your fitness up.

Fatarseflanagan09 · 12/06/2020 23:24

Leave the bastard.

morriseysquif · 12/06/2020 23:26

If you like a man, show it, it's not humiliating (got laughed at by friends and family members when I showed interest in sex or men).

RenegadeMrs · 12/06/2020 23:34

Dump him and move on quickly. He'll cheat eventually and other people will fancy you.

Cultervate healthier eating and exercise habits.

Try to concieve sooner, you'll have issues.

Sharkyfan · 12/06/2020 23:37

Wear High factor facial sunscreen

Step away from the carbs

Controversial one - don’t get married young to the first person you’re in a serious relationship with
And, consider having sex before marriage after all so as not to feel the need to rush into marriage.

PintofPinot · 12/06/2020 23:37

Look after your teeth

Notthefutureyet · 12/06/2020 23:57

Get really far away from your home town and friends, go to uni, travel, then live somewhere else.

Notthefutureyet · 12/06/2020 23:59

Oh and that it turns out, people do fancy you, sort your self esteem out!

dustybluebell · 13/06/2020 00:58

Definitely as others have said do not settle or rush to find the one.
Appreciate who you are. You're lovely.
Go with the geek if he/she has prospects. Even if you think he/shes not for you. Give him/her a chance.
Don't settle for the mummy's boy as you think he'll treat you as well as his mum. You'll always be second best, and then when the mother passes he moves onto putting his single sister on that pedestal as she's also got him where she wants him..
You're worth so much more than all that.

Namechange8471 · 13/06/2020 01:01

Stay single until 25, then you’ll meet me right.

Go to uni and learn to drive!!

Sarahplane · 13/06/2020 01:05

Don't marry him. Do not put up with his bullshit. You can cope on your own.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/06/2020 01:07

Learn to delegate

Have confidence in yourself and ignore other people who just want to bring you down.

Have children sooner rather than later

inmyshedsmoking2000 · 13/06/2020 01:11

You're sat on a gold mine.