What advice would you give your 20 year old self?

[turquoiseglanville]

Title says it all really - I'm 20 and would love to know what you'd advise yourself and/or me. Could be anything!

Get rid of those ridiculous boyfriends. Don't leave home yet even though your parents are a PIA. Study, go to University, you'll love it there!

Stop comfort eating.

Work hard in your 20s, by your 30s you’ll really start to notice the difference in lifestyle between those who did and those who were more focused on enjoyment (me). No, it’s not all about money but it sure as hell gives you options and a certain lifestyle.
Value yourself. Don’t spend time with people who don’t value you. Don’t lose touch with friends - it’s harder to make good ones the older you get.

Buy that house you parents talked you out of buying. You could afford it with a lodger.

Don't put men before friends, because you won't be facing the situation you'll have in a years time.

You were actually really sorted, good job, pension, opportunities to progress and you blew it all.

Buy a property immediately.

don't get involved with married men
don't reject opportunities because of men
drink a bit less
don't think you're fat. You aren't. but you will be.
get help for the eating disorder. Don't wait nearly two more decades.
visit the cat more.
don't take your dad for granted. You haven't got him for that much longer.
also when your dad asks if he should buy that property, say yes he probably should. It will make a profit.
be kinder and a bit less selfish
apply for a masters earlier so you can get funding. and stop putting everything on the credit card. get a consolidation loan as soon as you start your first proper job.
don't bother trying the long-distance thing. He'll be cheating on you in two seconds flat.
don't assume your future husband thinks like a 'normal' person. He does not.
don't bother getting back in touch with your mother. it won't work out
dont let the midwife fob you off even if it is your first and you have to believe everything she says. She's wrong. He is breech.
dont make the mistake of thinking folk are too old to be friends with.

At 20? Don't marry him. He’ll erode your self-confidence and then leave you because you're needy.

Ask tutors and all for help.
Yes uni is about learning but actually learning exam technique would be more useful, especially as questions are repeated most years.

It's OK to be bisexual. Your parents can't handle their little child seeing men so they really can't be any worse about women.

That older partner your parents disapprove of? Will still be around 25 years later, so good choice there, but don't waste energy expecting your parents to approve of anything.

You've got a rocking body you should be proud of. A beautiful face free of wrinkles. Be proud.
Please put down the cigarettes and don't do so many drugs for the next decade.

Be brave and move on - he's not right for you.

This, ^ , oh this.

I did at least follow my own advice to get a job and be financially independent.

Don’t get tied into a serious 3-year relationship with that useless lad from uni. I could’ve had SO much fun at uni if I’d stayed single!

Work hard, it’ll pay off. Make sure you put aside at least 10% a month if you can afford it. Save 3-6 months outgoings first, then start investing.

I’m 28 now and have only just started investing. I wish I’d done it so much sooner when I look back at all the money I’ve pissed away on takeaways and cocktails over the years

Move back home
Go to college
Actually make something of your life
Treasure your friends

In the next few months you'll meet a red haired man. Run.

Don't pay any attention to what other people think . Don't let yourself be used just because you have a low self esteem . Take Dads advice about saving ,he was bang on the money! You are beautiful and quirky ,don't change for any man.

1. No, you’re not fat.
2. He’s an idiot. Wait for someone kind and thoughtful - far better qualities than ‘good looking and cool’.
3. Stop spending all your fucking money on useless shit.

Turquoise, I'm sorry but I misinterpreted your OP. I read it as "What advice would you give YOUR 20 year old self?" Obviously you wanted advice which would apply to today's 20 year olds, who already know that housing is expensive, Brexit's a thing and that studying ancient languages won't get you a good job unless you're Boris Johnson. I have a boy your age and I'm trying to get him motivated to acquire lucrative skills (he loves computers luckily) and to be more strategic about his finances with a view to becoming financially independent. I haven't needed to give him relationship advice because he's basically married to his self-built gaming PC :) but when I look back upon my life all my big mistakes fall into two categories. (Drum roll...) The first is not being intentional with my money, and the second is doubling down on bad decisions and not walking away from bad choices in education, marriage, family relationships and activism. If something is obviously not working, for god's sake cut your losses and
stop doing it. A third, trickier category of mistakes (and the point of my Ukip story) is being complacent and not taking threats seriously, but it's hard to translate that into actionable advice since you don't have a crystal ball and you don't want to become paranoid.

I’m 28 now and have only just started investing. I wish I’d done it so much sooner when I look back at all the money I’ve pissed away on takeaways and cocktails over the years grin

This! This is absolute gold, and exactly what I am trying to communicate to my kids. Investing from age 28 isn't bad, though: I was well into my 30s before I stopped spending all of my money as soon as I got it, and I've fallen off the frugality wagon plenty of times since. The key is to have a big specific goal in mind - moving abroad, buying a rental property, say - and that's more motivating than some vague sense that you "should" be saving money. Youngsters should read Mr Money Mustache and the free pdf of Rich Dad Poor Dad to get an understanding of the fundamentals of saving, investing and earning. I cringe at how clueless I was and how far ahead I could have got if I'd known what I was doing!

Avoid boyfriends- ditch any less than supportive friends - get your education- travel as much as you possibly can- never settle for second best- you are so so beautiful right now- wear what you want even if it is just a bikini- husbands and children are not always the answer - don't waste any tears on insecurity- something will always come along - above all enjoy the wonderful experience of youth don't waste a single moment of it

LTB

Unfortunately it took me another 10 years to do so

Having not been of romantic interest to anyone (that I knew of) until I was 19, I was convinced that I would only be happy if I was in a relationship.
NO NO NO AND NO.
Don't waste your time with boyfriends/girlfriends if they aren't right for you. At the first red flag, go go go and be fabulous.

You're not as fat as you think you are!
Marry a teacher, the school holidays will be so much easier with both of you off together
Pension! Don't leave teaching when you have kids, just stay one day a week to keep your pension going. Sob. Sob.

What I'd say to myself would be: Go to therapy.

General 20s advice:
Save as much as you can
Focus on developing yourself and not a partner
Get into good habits now

Don’t marry him just because you’re worried no one else will want you .

Avoid: alcohol, credit cards.
Do: keep to a healthy weight, save just a little bit of money each month.

Make an effort to find a boyfriend who is husband material. Don't waste your best years with, well, wasters. By the time you're ready to settle down, the good ones will already be married.

And, a bit like the song, wear sunscreen!