Experiences of racism

[nikkijr1990]

I've been following the BLM movement over the the last week or so. I live in a predominately white area (am white myself) . I obviously am aware of racism in the form of name calling etc but I really want to educate myself in some of the more underhand/ systematic forms of racism people experience that may go unnoticed to someone who hasn't had their eyes opened to it and just gain more understanding on the subject. Any experiences welcome

I remember being out with my mum on a
day trip looking in the baskets of one of those seaside shops when I was a child and we were stood near an Asian guy talking to a ( white ) elderly lady. He was holding a ( white ) baby in his arms. I remember smiling at them as we walked past because they were talking and he was getting the baby to wave.......a group of men and women walked past on the other side of the road, one called out, the guy holding the baby looked up still smiling and they shouted 'fucking p* bastard holding white man's child' Put it down.
I can still picture his face falling and he just put his head down and handed the baby back to the lady. She shook her head and was still talking to him as we walked past. My stomach lurched, it was horrible and all these years on still makes me feel sick thinking about it.

That one incident I witnessed was just a snapshot and didn't even directly affect me, only it did. I cannot imagine living with that each day. And having to tolerate every fuckwit who decides to take a pop just because they can.

Been called a Paki, dirty, smelly etc at school.

I am also in a mixed race marriage, recent ones I can think off, my children being called "mongrels" by a group of young lads, out of the blue one day. This was genuinely shocking as I had not encountered such blatant racism for years and thought such terms were long gone.

Being in a maternity ward waiting room for a suspected miscarriage, and having a pregnant woman start to blurt out she was the "only British person here". She then started to spout racist claptrap about too many foreigners ruining the country, completely oblivious to the fact that nearly the entire NHS staff serving us were from African/Asian origin! I made the mistake of looking in her direction (when looking around for a doctor) and she started shouting about how she would knock me out. Utterly delightful woman.

Strangest one ever was when I made a complaint about a service and the manager - in all sincerity - asked me whether I could understand English. We had been speaking English for the previous 20 minutes!!! It was strange as the manager seemed to be unable to accept that I could comprehend English, despite being born, brought up and university educated in England, because I am brown!

I have learned if you say anything you’re accused of ‘playing the race card’
^ from pp, but I can definitely relate

Being a minority growing up in a small town, I felt too embarrassed to talk about my culture/background let alone call out racism. Yet even now as an adult, I know if I do call it out I’ll soon be seen as ‘difficult’

I’ve been called a paki many times - not too bad because it was usually by immature teens.

I find it more draining being stopped and searched all the time, being mistaken for another person of colour at work who looks completely different, presumed to have come from a rough area, being asked “but where are you really from?” (I know some may be innocently asking but when asked so often it feels like a reminder that despite my great grandfather legally immigrating, i’m still the wrong colour to be british)

I don’t feel any ties to my ancestors country of origin. I’ve never visited, and am not a fan of the culture there. Speaking of which, there is plenty of vile colourism within my ethnic culture. Sometimes I think it can be much more hurtful than ‘normal racism’. There is a really good BBC article with woc speaking about their experiences of colourism, it made me so emotional
Also, it seems women are affected by colourism more than men.

My son is only four (five this month), but he has already experienced racism and he has made comments about his colour getting him in trouble

I'm so sorry to hear that SimonJT my son is also 4 and has never experienced racism, and I don't think he even knows what racism is. He's mixed race (white/asian) but the only comments he's ever made about race are purely descriptive ones like 'I'm brown like daddy' or 'me and tom have the same hair, harry and sammy have blond hair)

My mother is mixed Nigerian and Welsh, father white.
"Too many of you in our country" and "you're taking jobs from us" are popular ones. I was born here.
Growing up, our food ridiculed when we took packed lunches to school- teachers would join in.
Teachers told other children not to accept food from us because it was likely poison.

Going into salons and being told they don't have room/time for me, then immediately offering what I've just asked for to the person behind me.

My daughter is very dark.
"Put plenty of suncream on her, you don't want her any blacker"
"Pity she hasn't got your colour"
"Shame she's a throwback"

I second the poster who recommended reading Natives by Akala. He articulates things in a way that I couldn't, he also explains the history behind racism and the role the media play in fuelling it. It's an uncomfortable but brilliant book.

@easterbrook could you give maybe one example from this post of someone hating your guts for being white? I've re-read it and I can see lots of people listing specific things that have happened to them or their acquaintances. I can't see a single poster who has generalised their experiences to apply to all white people or has even implied they hate all white people because of the racism they've suffered.

A friend's sister is white and has a mixed race daughter currently still a toddler. She split with child's dad while still pregnant & dad does not see child. I don't know whose decision this was. The child definitely looks mixed race but mum is 'bringing her up as white'. Ie not telling her that she is mixed race, adamant to both daughter and everyone else that daughter is white, basically not telling her about half of her heritage. She says it's to protect daughter from racists but I worry a lot about the damage that will be done to her little girl as she grows up.

These are just awful, I'm so sorry you have to live like this, I too thought overt racism was (largely) a thing of the past in the UK, I'm incredibly sad to find out that I was wrong.

@easterbrook.

My brother is white. As a young adult, he grew his hair long, dressed “alternatively,” had a straggly and gross beard. He was late home Multiple times because the police would exercise their right to stop and search.

When he got tired of that happening, he decided to shave, cut his hair, and dress differently. Never stopped again.

That’s white privilege. Friends and non-white family members can dress however they like and will still be pulled over because “you fit the description.” That’s racism.

Interesting thread. I've been talking about this since I watched it. Guys talking about experiences of everyday racism...