Racism is very very different in the US compared to the UK, it isn’t as subtle in the US. TV shows still proudly portray very innapropriate racist stereotypes, just think about Raj in big bang theory, he isn’t Raj who happens to be Asian, he’s Raj who has a funny accent, is iffeminate, can’t talk to women and controlled by his parents.
I’m Asian and male, I’m also usually bearded (rocking a 70’s pornstar moustache at the moment). It’s the more subtle things that are more frustrating (i imagine it is often similar with sexism).
I have a ‘white’ name and a British accent, so unless you see me you don’t know what race I am, I’m also fairly pale for my race and don’t have features people would consider typical to my race. So when I haven’t got a tan I ‘pass’ as caucasian and often get asked if I’m Italian/Spanish.
Obviously I’m not white but I get to sometimes see both sides of the coin, which if anything is more frustrating.
I have a fairly good job and I often lead conferences alongside other companies about boring things like industry standards. I have had people turn up and genuinely say “I wasn’t expecting one of you”. Thinking that is bad enough, but at least have the decency not to say it to my face.
If I still had an Asian name (I changed it in my mid twenties) I would be half as likely to secure a job interview compared to the same CV with a typically ‘white’ named applicant.
Its things like going out as well, my boyfriend is white, as are most of my friends. You can almost guarantee if we go our for food when our food/drink order is taken I’m almost always asked last (unless the waitstaff is BAME), the only exception is when our West African friend is there, then he gets last place. Incidentally he was on sunday brunch once and called a thug by another guest for eating a breakfast pastry in the same way that other white guests ate theirs.
I worked with a lady once who would make racist and xenophobic comments, she actively disliked Jewish people. When she returned from maternity leave she told me I needed to be careful because I was so tanned I looked like a Paki. Normally I let things slide at work as I have learned if you say anything you’re accused of ‘playing the race card’ but I simply replied with “I am a Paki”, she never ever spoke to me again and refused to even email me.
My son is only four (five this month), but he has already experienced racism and he has made comments about his colour getting him in trouble. But the worst thing about is that no child is racist, a parent has to actively teach a child to be racist. The words those children have used aren’t not words a child might use to describe skin colour, you expect a child to say brown, dark, maybe even things like dirty skin or poo skin because they’re children. But children need to be actively taught racist terms.
My partners parents are a bit racist, when I met them they implied it’s a good job we’re gay as they don’t want a half and half grandchild. But they also had another child when my partner was 20 so they could have a ‘normal’ one, so it shouldn’t have been a shock.
Its little things as well, someone will describe someone and refer to their skin colour, but they never do that with white people.
Its contant othering.