How to be a good white ally

[SoberCurious]

Can we share some ideas here please?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CA04VKDAyjb/?igshid=1coe9xx8vsdb3

🖤

They do study slavery!
Year 8. Then onto the Civil Rights movement.

Readysetcake would you mind sharing the children’s books you’ve bought and are any suitable for a 5 year old ? If not can anyone recommend any books that are ? Thanks

Remember that acceptable language varies according to countries. I see people of colour used a bit on here, that is used in the USA. I personally don’t like it being used and when I was a member of the black and ethnic minorities regional committee for one of the UK’s largest unions it was never used.

I've had conversations with my kids this week about what racism is. They look white so will probably never directly experience it but I've told them they should speak up when someone is being racist. Gonna look at the book suggestions, thanks to the pp who mentioned them.

Sorry to hijack the thread, I'm bi-racial, but I still need to talk about racism with my kids and this thread is useful.

@RickOShay its about putting British imperialism & colonialism on the UK cirriculum:

https://www.change.org/p/gavin-williamson-mp-teach-british-children-about-the-realities-of-british-imperialism-and-colonialism?recruiter=600352826&utmsource=shareepetition&utmcampaign=psffcomboshareeabi&utmmedium=whatsapp&recruiteddbyid=5a458ca0-80a7-11e6-b07b-e3be815747fc&utmmcontent=washarecopy225216966en-GB%3Av5

@Crispsnatcher everyone is welcome! The point if the thread was to discuss how white people could improve their allyship (to use the modern parlance). It has been repeatedly mentioned that it's not up to black people / POC to explain things as they are tired of doing so. So thought it would be helpful to share ideas here. How else will things change if we don't talk about it? The reading for kids are part of that. But of course they are useful to everyone X

Definitely not a hijack crispsnatcher!

Great thread. Good idea.

To the white people on here:

What are your thoughts on the emotional impact of antiracist learning or antiracist work as a white person? Personally I've found the emotional side the biggest barrier, partly because it's hard to find people to talk to about it.

I'm tentative about asking this because we're told not to centre white emotion, and I agree that it can be unhelpful and disruptive to do that in discussions of racism, and tends to combine with existing social power structures to sideline the emotions of people of colour. But I think on a thread about white allyness it might be helpful to discuss openly.

@Porpoises I'm glad you asked about the emotional side. As a white person, I can't really discuss this on the usual threads because it isn't appropriate.

I think it's incredibly important to approach anti racism from an educational perspective amongst white people, otherwise you risk alienating people and it could actually damage race relations. I think language is incredibly important.

I'm going to use the example of a white person who inadvertently makes a racist comment, either in person or on a social media platform. It is absolutely appropriate to call them out on the comment, tell them that it is offensive (and why) and point out that they could have deeply hurt someone. A large number of white people will be horrified, will apologise and learn from the experience. If you label that person (rather than their comment) as a racist, that's where the trouble starts. You are lumping them into the same category as people who commit hate crimes and that's when people get defensive. If you treat white people who make a mistakes like monsters (as happens a lot on social media) then resentment will build and race relations will be damaged further.

Agree @Purplequalitystreet
I think asking W people to educate themselves is fair enough, but for most people asking questions & being able to discuss what I'm learning is a necessary part of the learning process. It seems like a fear if being called "racist" if someone asks a clumsy question will simply put people off trying to learn. It's human nature 🤷🏻‍♀️

So it would be nice if we could feel free to discuss becoming better white allies here.

I will report any obvious trolls though & would ask you all to do the same.

I agree. When I was about 6 I remember a boy making a racist comment to a girl at school. I remember realising it wasn't right but not knowing exactly why or how to challenge it. Educating my DS is very important to me.

I've found the discussuons on MN really useful this week. I've come across at least two words/gestures that I absolutely no idea were offensive. If we could have threads where these things can be discussed without it turning into a fight that would be great

Thanks for starting this thread @SoberCurious ❤️

I've come across at least two words/gestures that I absolutely no idea were offensive what were they?

@Notverybright

"Uppitty" and the ok gesture. I had no idea and I bet I'm not the only one

I knew about “uppity”, people On man like to argue that that’s just an American thing and in the uk it’s more about class than race. Personally I think it’s offensive whether it’s about race or class.
Is the ok gesture offensive if it’s with your arm raised like a normal ok? Or is it when people do it down by their belt like a secret kkk sign?

On man= on MN

No idea. Does anyone on the thread know? (for those that don't know, the ok gesture makes your hands spell out WP or "white power" and it has been taken up by white supremacist groups). I think it's still fine to use in situations like diving though

I see that even though I mentioned the words people of colour being used as very American and not as acceptable here and actually offensive to some people have still used it .

Here is a piece about it

www.independent.co.uk/voices/black-women-people-of-colour-racism-beyonce-coachella-black-lives-matter-a8316561.html#gsc.tab=0

"People of colour" seems complicated, some people from ethnic minorities in the UK dislike it but others use it themselves in their writing. E.g. A UK campaign group I follow is called "kids of colour".

Can I ask if you're from an ethnic minority group yourself Valkadin? Apologies if I have offended you.

I agree with that article that its not helpful to call an individual a "person of colour" when actually what you mean is a specific race or identity. It can weirdly overgeneralise and cover up that difference.

Yes I’m an ethnic minority, experienced racism in my face and was involved with trade unions for years. Helped write local government equal opps policies way back in 1989. One of first women stewards amongst 50 stewards, there were four of us to start, we made it to a heady six. Of course the majority of members were actual women.