It wasn’t wind... it was a baby!

[Ohshitx]

So here’s part 2 (which is crazy to me)

There isn’t really an update as such I should hear today or tomorrow regarding a scan. I’ve got the MW again on Thursday and I suppose this week will be the week of grand reveals.

I’m sorry if I disappear for a day at a time I’m still trying to wrap my own head around this.

Wow.

No, let's not envelop a woman who finds herself in an emotional place with support, lest the thread fill up and you miss your update.

I very rarely comment, however I am angry about that response.

O think you need to make a complaint about the lack of scan.
Breaches nhs guidelines.
V v strange

Apart from showing you care?

Congrats

Pickwick, yours is the most rage-inducing kind of comment. Smug, trolling, passive aggressive emojis.

If you think the OP is lying, or enjoying the attention too much, then report or fuck off.

Blimey why all deletions!

@incognitomum

Blimey why all deletions!

Troll hunting and quoting troll hunting.

Morning,

Again, I can’t see what’s been said. So I can’t respond 🤷🏼‍♀️

I haven’t told anyone, my head is so screwed up with this. I keep going to have the conversation and then I can’t, I can’t make the words come out. This is going to completely turn my DS world upside down. I don’t know if it’s because there’s a lack of choice, I would have kept the baby anyway I think. But the choice is gone.

Sorry I don’t mean to just come on here and ramble.

Sorry you're struggling, OP.
Perhaps you could ask your GP or midwife about mental health support? It could be less scary to talk to a counsellor as opposed to someone you know.
And if you will struggle to get the words out when it comes to telling someone, perhaps you could write an email or letter?

Oh hon, it's absolutely okay to ramble as you try to sort your head out... your heart is obviously in it, but it will take a while for your head to catch up ❤️ It's a huge amount of upheaval, on an accelerated time frame. It's okay to not be okay 🥴

@Ohshitx I really think you need to tell someone, you must feel so overwhelmed.

@Ohshitx it's a lot to get your head round but I honestly think once you tell someone it will help you, it's a lot to keep to yourself. Once you have told a couple of people I think a weight will be lifted because it sounds like your main worry is other people's reactions. I am sure also that it won't be as bad as you think, it sounds like you need some support. You DS world might be a bit upside down but I can guarantee he will be excited! The fact you are questioning all this already shows what a great mummy you are but I promise going from 1 to two children although is an adjustment (in terms of mummy guilt) is such a good thing and will be a positive for your DS to have a sibling. Ive never known anyone to wish they didn't have a sibling xx

This is the perfect place to ramble and talk before telling people in real life. Can you choose one friend or parent from school that you trust to tell before you tell your son or mam?
It will be ok OP, children are resilient and your son will cope. He will probably be thrilled at the idea of a sibling as most only children long for one. I know I did.

Really sorry you are struggling OP. I can’t imagine how I would feel. It is completely normal to feel all sorts of negative emotions. This baby wasn’t planned and I have no doubt that once they are here you will loved care for them.
I think you’ll be surprised by how people in real life take it. I would really encourage you telling one person who you think will be good to talk to. Things are always so much bigger and scarier when you keep them inside your head.
I don’t think the effect on your DS will be as bad as you imagine either. My second born just fit into our life and your DS will be at school most of the time anyway. It’s the perfect age for him to be excited by having a sibling, give him a chance. 💐💐💐

Sorry to hear you're struggling. It's totally understandable given the circumstances. I second what the above poster said and ring the community midwife and ask for some support. They can refer you to a specialist mental health midwife who will completely understand and help your anxieties.
Dont put too much pressure on yourself, it's a huge shock for you.
I'm sure once you have told someone you will feel relieved. The thought of things is often much worse than the reality of doing it.
Sending hugs

@Ohshitx if you want to ramble, ramble away.
I don’t know if there is any online networks of whatnot for people who didn’t know they were pregnant? But it’s a whirlwind.
Can you write a letter if you can’t get the words out? Just an idea? Xx

Take one day at a time, you do need to tell someone in real life, but we all understand how difficult it must be to take that step. Would it be easier to send your mum a message telling her and ask her to contact you. It's a big surprise but a lovely one. I'm sure you're going to have lots of support as soon as you start to share your news, but everyone needs time to adjust and prepare including you and FWB. Good luck with your scan.

I don’t know if it’s because there’s a lack of choice, I would have kept the baby anyway I think. But the choice is gone

I get it
I felt like this for a while, even after dd was born.
Its the lack of choice and control, did my head in.
You don't get a choice AND your teamed with the stress of "ive got only xyz weeks to get organised, come to terms with it, tell people, deal with their shock, happiness, whatever" most women have 9 months to spread all that over. I had 13 weeks, you have even less. Its exhausting. Scary, strange.

Would you feel better if at your next appointment, you got your midwife, counsellor, who you trust most, to call or zoom your mum, the fwb? That way you dont have to tell, you can gauge their reaction and then prep yourself for that and it also allows them time for the inital shock to wear off and not put it on you?
But I am firmly tell when your ready too.

Oh op. You poor thing. All of these congregations are probably not helping.

This must be such a shock. Maybe some counselling would help you to get your head around it? I appreciate you are too far gone for this to be an option but could you get cheap/ free urgent counselling from marie stopes or similar if you can't afford to get some private sessions? xx

Hi Op
Just an idea what about writing it down inside a card or something and then handing it over? That was you're not having to actually speak the words?

Oh OP you poor thing. It's such a lot to get your head around. If you don't yet feel up to telling people you know, could you ask to talk to one of the community midwives just to start to process your feelings and discuss your concerns? I think some real life support would really help you. x