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Original poster

It wasn’t wind... it was a baby!

999 replies

Ohshitx · 01/06/2020 08:10

So here’s part 2 (which is crazy to me)

There isn’t really an update as such I should hear today or tomorrow regarding a scan. I’ve got the MW again on Thursday and I suppose this week will be the week of grand reveals.

I’m sorry if I disappear for a day at a time I’m still trying to wrap my own head around this.

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 03/06/2020 09:23

You can do it OP. I get the impression that you're scared people will be angry with you but this is really not your fault!
Flowers

Blackbear19 · 03/06/2020 09:24

Big hugs, I can well imagine that you are scared, worried about how people will take the news.
But as other have said you don't owe people on here anything. It's your life not a soap opera.

I'd definitely give both friend and your mum some sort of prior warning that you have something to tell them. It will make the conversation slightly less completely out of the blue. I'm assuming you are going to tell them face to face.

I don't mean to be judgemental but I think reactions will also depend on your own circumstances.
If your mid 30's coping ok financially etc you'd probably get a different reaction to being 23 struggling to get on the career ladder, relying on parents help etc.

Personally I wouldn't worry about spending money on a private scan. If something is wrong there's not much you can do about it. Which is probably the reason NHS aren't pushing you in for emergency scan.

tensmum1964 · 03/06/2020 09:29

Congratulations. Really hoping the conversation goes well with FWB

InkogKneeToe · 03/06/2020 09:29

@Ohshitx I think a private scan is a good idea, at least then you'll know more regarding gestation etc. (and it may help it sink in a bit more).

A private scan clinic will also allow you to take FWB (or your mum or whoever) with you if you/he wants to (which NHS clinics aren't allowing at the moment).

If it were me, I think I'd book the scan for as soon as possible but give yourself 24 hours or so. Speak to FWB in plain terms. I've just found out I'm about 7 months pregnant, it's your baby, I've got a private scan booked for X day at X time if you'd like to come with me (assuming you want him there).

I really think you need to tell someone in real life sooner rather than later now the shock is sinking in. They're going to be surprised, of course they are, but you need the support Flowers

HauntedGoatFart · 03/06/2020 09:33

I agree with PP, don't apologise. You don't owe us a damned thing. As a selfish human being who is starved for a bit of happy news I admit I'd love to know about your scan, but you only need to post if you want to and if it's actually helping you. I have also been really hoping that you don't feel too overwhelmed by the idea on here that this is 100% joyful. I was thinking last night about how I'd feel if I found out I was expecting a baby in 9 weeks from a father I'm not with and I think I'd be rocking in a corner tbh. You're doing amazingly, and all the emotions you're feeling are normal and OK.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 03/06/2020 09:33

@Ohshitx there is no need to apologise to a bunch of randoms on the Internet. This is your life, we're here to support you and want to know how everything goes, but we understand if you chose not to, that's ok too.

PearPickingPorky · 03/06/2020 09:37

Oh my god this is so exciting.

And scary for you, OP.

I hope the scan and chats go well.

BasinHaircut · 03/06/2020 09:49

I’ve just read both threads right through.

You are amazing. You are coping so well.

I think you are right to get it all straight in your head before you tell anyone if that’s how you want to do it. Whether the father finds out today or in a week’s time it doesn’t really change the fact that he is going to be a father in a matter of weeks.

As for your mum, well I’m sure that she will be shocked, especially as the baby is the result of a very casual affair (not judging, just imagining my own mum’s reaction to this situation) but if she is a decent mum and grandmother then I’m sure she will be a huge support to you and that will bear no impact past a few minutes.

Looking forward to the update after your scan, which I imagine will be the next step in helping you cone to terms with all of this. Seeing that image in the screen will probably floor you so just prepare yourself.

BluebellCockleshell123 · 03/06/2020 09:50

What a shock OP. You sound like you are coping very well in the circumstance. I think you’ve done brilliantly to keep this to yourself for a while until you’ve got your head around it.

Good luck with telling everyone. I’m sure it’ll be a tricky conversation and you might get some unexpected reactions. I hope it goes well.

Flippinfurloughed · 03/06/2020 09:59

Please don’t apologise OP, this IS your life, it’s not for the excitement of others. We are here to support you and bounce ideas off, you don’t owe us anything and I really wish you well Flowers

rainbowstardrops · 03/06/2020 10:02

Wow OP, what a shock!!!!! You sound awesome though and level-headed. Good luck and congratulations! Thanks

WitchDancer · 03/06/2020 10:08

A private scan sounds like a very good idea, if you're lucky they might be able to squeeze you in today.

I hope your conversation with FWB goes well, we're all holding your hand virtually 🤝

eleventy3isthemagicnumber · 03/06/2020 10:09

@Ohshitx

Morning,

I’m going to book a private scan I think. I haven’t told anyone, sorry. I know you’re all waiting for updates and I’m not trying to make this any more dramatic than it needs to be but it’s my life and I’m scared shitless at this point.

He got back last night, so I’ll hear from him today. Then I’ve just got to put my big girl pants on and decide when to have this conversation 😫

It is a really hard thing to do!

In case it's useful...

When I told my friend the same thing, he called my from work on his break. I was so nervous. I'm normally a pretty bold person, not much fazes me. But I felt really nervous, like I when I was a young teenager speaking to a boy on the phone, butterflies from nerves!

When I told him, he went really quiet and was obviously struggling to know what to say. I asked him if he needed some time to process it and he said yes. He then told his work he had to go home early, called me half an hour later once he'd got over the shock and we had a good long chat and he did say all the right things then! He just needed a little time to process it, which I thought was fair enough seeing as I'd had days to psyche myself up to talking to him.

WendyHoused · 03/06/2020 10:10

We’re here for moral support, we’re not an audience. You don’t owe us a damned thing and we’re all wishing you the best possible outcomes.

CormoranStrike · 03/06/2020 10:12

Oh OP, I think you are doing remarkably well.

Don’t feel the need to tell us anything, but do post if it is helping you process what is happening.

Best of luck with conversations and scans etc.

EmotionalHangover · 03/06/2020 10:12

Oh my good was, obviously go at your own pace. Just think of us as cheerleaders, if you fall we will try to pick you back up again in whatever way internet strangers can

EmotionalHangover · 03/06/2020 10:12

Goodness....not good was ffs

BobbyTheVetIsMyHero · 03/06/2020 10:18

OP you don’t owe anyone on this board anything. Yes we’d love to know how you are doing but as you know all too well, this is your life, not a soap opera.

This.

Been thinking of you lots OP x

LilyMarshall · 03/06/2020 10:19

It happened to a friend’s sister too. Always Irregular periods and then continued in a form that wasnt unusual for her. she was at the doctors with a Health complaint and the doctor suspected pregnancy from what she’d said and had a feel. She was 30 weeks. No bump at all. But the following week she was huge, like the baby was hiding and then went TA DA!!!!!

Baby is a beautiful healthy pre-schooler now.

espressoontap · 03/06/2020 10:26

Echoing what PP has said - you don't owe anyone anything. This is your life and if you don't want to come back, don't feel obliged to. You have enough on your plate. I wish you, you DS and your baby well Thanks

thatcarolebaskinbitch · 03/06/2020 10:26

Best of luck with telling FWB OP, I've found lots of posts on here quite insensitive, people forget that this is your real life and it has been completely flipped upside down. If you don't feel you are getting the support you need on here you have no obligation to keep updating.

NatalieH2220 · 03/06/2020 10:32

@Ohshitx Please don't feel pressured by anyone, especially not any of us! This is a huge shock and you need to do it at your own pace. Look after yourself.

lemonysnickett88 · 03/06/2020 10:52

Best of luck with whatever happens next x

CanIHaveAPenguinPlease · 03/06/2020 10:57

@espressoontap

Echoing what PP has said - you don't owe anyone anything. This is your life and if you don't want to come back, don't feel obliged to. You have enough on your plate. I wish you, you DS and your baby well Thanks
This. Take your time to do what’s right for you. We are here for support if you need it. Your mind & emotions must be all over the place. Do whatever you think is best for you. Best of luck.
welshbaby2009 · 03/06/2020 10:58

I hope everything goes well for you. I had to have that awkward conversation with ex. It’s hard but just bite the bullet and get it out. I was in a slightly different position as was much earlier in pregnancy. I decided to put my big girl pants on and tell him I was happy to have baby by myself and if he wanted to be part of baby’s life that was fine. My only stipulation was that he was either in it for the long haul or not at all. I didn’t want him flitting in and out of baby’s life. Needless to say that was 15 years ago now. We didn’t get back together but he is a great father. My DD sees him every week and they have a great relationship.
I too was scared to tell my parents and boss. I was also 30yrs old. Everyone got over the shock and my life wouldn’t be the same if I had not been given the wonderful gift of a child. I met my now husband when DD was 7 months old and we now have a DS and I inherited a SS. We are all very happy.
I really hope things work out well for you. Good luck x