Shielding chat continues - thread 2

[AuntieSocia1]

Shiny new thread for anyone shielding.

You can vent/moan/cry/chat/lurk whatever you need.

ugh, on another course of Pred. Been really chesty and wheezy because the weathers turned damp. ugh

I have totally had enough of everything and everyone today I can’t see the point in carrying on this isn’t living my life as always revolved around my family my house always full of people and laughter and these last 12 weeks has totally broke my heart and spirit and I can’t see a way out of this situation so what’s the point to life anymore

@Nanajanesmith can you get out? Go and meet a family member or friend for a walk, or somewhere distanced
There's mental health as well as physical. If you can't get out then ask a friend/relative to come into the garden?

@Nanajanesmith, as clientq says, you're allowed to go for a walk now. Can you get out somewhere or ask someone to come to yours to chat through the window?
You'll be surprised how quickly that can lift your mood.
There's always someone on here to chat to otherwise.
Take care. X

Had to fill in the form for school return earlier which included a big nope "cause mum is shielding", then also DP messaged the teacher when DS was upset to have another piece of walk related homework.

Also got my new letter from the welsh gov, including the wording "we know the virus does not spread as easily outside as indoors. The risk of catching cv outside is low if you stay 2m away and wash your hands". I see what you're doing there WG, and I'll be staying in thanks.

"Does not spread outdoors" is a very different sentence to "does not spread as easily outdoors"...

Post french chic chip cookies for me please, Marie!

Like many of you I'm feeling at the end of it with all this. I might begin to relax it at home but still shield, just not from the family so much and make sure everyone is super clean all the time. Not easy with teenagers, sigh...

Posh not post, I'm not giving you a command!😂😂😂

I think Post was the right word madhair

Sending a supportive wave at everyone who is really feeling it today. It's so much worse when al lthe news is about blasted "bubbles" that we cant have.

I've hit a down recently as well.
It was the anniversary of meeting my dead ex at the weekend. I ordered some poppy plants a month ago (we picked poppies on our first date), tried chasing them up the other week, and nothing. I got an email this morning thanking me for cancelling my order. I'm disproportionately furious.

This morning I've had a disastrous housing assessment on the phone that I'm going to have to appeal, I also had an IAPT assessment which basically said all they can offer is CBT and they'll refer me to the CMHT for psychotherapy or similar for complex ptsd. Which is because last time I referred myself to the CMHT they told me I needed to refer myself to IAPT.

I feel very small, very shit, very alone and a bit hopeless.

The shielding list for children has been changed today:
www.rcpch.ac.uk/resources/covid-19-shielding-guidance-children-young-people

With this the most significant change: "Children and young people who are cared for just in primary care are very unlikely to need to continue to shield"

The rest of the shielded children are being split into 2 groups, A and B. Group A staying shielded (oncology, severe lung disabilities (not including CF), and immunodeficiency/suppression) and B group with specific conditions who will require individualised decisions from their doctors.

That’s interesting Oaksideboard, do you think similar criteria will be used and changes will apply to the adult list?

It isn’t very clear about whether you’d still have to shield as a child organ transplant patient. For most transplants you take immunosuppressants for life so I presume they would.

Sorry to hear some of you are feeling so down. It is really shit to hear of bubbles, end of isolation, some children going back to school when we can’t join in.

@Organtransplant123: I am not medical, just a parent of a shielded child, but I would like to think it would be possible at some point to quantify risk for each condition/individual.

I think some of the medical teams are already changing their advice, like the kidney disease leaflet I saw on Twitter:
renal.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Updated-Shielding-Guidance-poster-04.06.2020.pdf

Haha as if we can get near a CF consultant at the moment, It's been radio silence from our specialist centre as they're up to the neck in COVID stuff.

Thanks Oaksideboard. Does this change the advice for your child? It’s quite a change for many children looking at the guidance.

@Organtransplant123 my DC is in group B, so I'll need to contact the hospital. Thankfully we don't need to decide about school until September, when I hope there will be more information around.

Looks like lots of us are struggling at the moment. I went for a walk for the first time in 10 days today, I got really anxious last time I went out because people weren't social distancing. I drove to a quieter beach today and it was much better, although I still felt quite anxious.

I think I'm probably becoming depressed tbh. I have no motivation with work at the moment, and I normally love my job. I seem to be sleeping far more than normal too, but still feel tired all the time. It got worse when they confirmed that shielding was being extended until August I think. I'm not sure how to stop feeling so down about everything.

@Oaksideboard, thank you for the link.
My ds is in group A.

What do you think they mean by all group A children will be seen in a specialist centre in September, do they just mean the normal tertiary hospital appointment?
As @TitsalinaBumSquash said, a lot of families are hearing radio silence.

All our appointments during the last 3 months have been phone appointments and have been told they've no immediate plans to change that - have to say it's so much easier than driving into London anyway.

@MarieVanGoethem Close. Police so similar bureaucracy.

Went for Dexa scan today. All masked up. Hospital very empty and I was the only one in the waiting area. The radiographer measured me and I've shrunk by 2.5 inches so that doesn't bode well for my spine.

Also just started another uti today, but got in touch with gp before they closed so DH managed to get my prescription. It's a nasty one this time, such a sharp pain, instead of the usual dragging burn iykwim?

DH can't understand why I'm not being sorted out as I was on the 2 week pathway. Tried explaining that they're not operating unless it's absolute emergency but he can't get his head around it. Mind you, the way the pain is going, it might end up as an emergency. I'm hobbling around like an 80yr old.

I could do with biscuits but blood sugar has gone up again. I'd managed to get it down to an average reading of 6-7 but it's now coming out at 9. So I had to make do with a bit of cheese (Gromit). My monthly Pong box came today with some gorgeous cheeses in and I've made some seed crackers.
But I would kill for a hobnob

Apparently 15th is when us shieldies will hear what's to become of us. I'm about ready to throw all caution to the wind and go back to work, but DH and my boys would never forgive me if I died. And talking of boys; my eldest is finally back at work (Maccies) and ds2 is home on Tuesday. He's been isolating with his gf at college and his 2 weeks is up then. His disciplinary came to nowt. Got a smack on the wrist and told not to smoke weed at college again. His gf is going to be living with us for a few weeks as well, before her flight back home, so that's a new challenge, never having had another female in my territory for longer than a few days, but she's a lovely girl. They both know not to go anywhere and they're fairly sensible.

Good luck everyone and keep hope in your hearts. Only 4 days until we hear.

@Anewuser, I agree, I think they would mean a normal appointment, rather than a specific one, but I would have thought that most children in group A and group B would have an appointment anyway by September.

Some of our hospitals have recently re-started face-to-face appointments for some departments, but we have mostly had telephone consultations so far, which have been fine - and as you say easier than travelling into London!

I'm sorry that so many people are struggling with the shielding, it is really hard, hopefully the 15th will bring further news.

What fantastic biscuits!

Had hard week with work. Those not shielding just don.t get what it is like and I just could not manage how I needed to this week. Will be increasingly more difficult as most colleagues start more normal working routines and I am working from home.

Has anyone shielding got a partner who leaves the house for work? Or children at school?

Hello, everyone. I’m sorry so many of you/us are feeling low. I think to get through the next two months I should change my routine a bit. I’m getting quite low in mood too - I’ve been much more depressed before and my depression is medicated nowadays so it’s still manageable. I’m just tired of the sameness and not seeing my family and friends. Once again I’m up far too late. I made the mistake of reading MadHairDay’s thread. Well, I read the beginning and end, skipped a chunk in the middle. In a sense I’m not bothered on a personal level - some folk are just very judgemental and I knew that already. I’m subdued anyway so probably it doesn’t make it worse. Maybe it’s the realisation that it’s time wasted on all that bilge that I could have used on reading a book or doing something more fun or useful. Anyway, there’s nice music on the radio and I’m going for a bath and sleep. Before I go I need to say how good those posh custard creams sound - please do tell us more @MarieVanGoethem. Brand name at least. Good night, everyone.

Grump. Am in really rather an awful loll

@FuzzyPuffling
I get a bit excited about being able to have Interesting Biscuits. And indeed shop-bought cake. Not as excited as I am about the frankly somewhat overwhelming range there is of vegan ice-cream not just available now, but easily available mind you. I think Oatly chocolate fudge (it has wee bits of vanilla fudge in & swirls of chocolate [fudge] sauce) is my new favourite flavour... Despite this abundance, I still miss Tofutti Cuties. Ye gods & little fishes How. I. Suffer.

@rugbymummy
I have a delightful mental image of you floating about in your wee positivity bubble. Like some kind of enchanted zorb, I suppose.

@ClientQ
Am glad you’re feeling better for your wee bit of rebellion.

@Pudding51
Am starting to have a strange urge to make a graph to illustrate people’s biscuit preferences. Not sure which stage of Shielding-Induced Unravelling Of The Mind that is, but I’ve decided I’m not going to worry until I decide to set up a cult. (Obviously when I hit that point you’ll all be offered v favourable membership terms.)

@Nanajanesmith
Not wanting to nag at you, but can you let us know how you are? It’s easy for you to dismiss it, I know, but if you usually have a house full of people & laughter you are someone who has a lot to live for & a lot of people who would be devastated to lose you. You should be able to self-refer for some short-term NHS therapy via something called IAPT; & if you could get the funds together BACPS have info on members who use a sliding scale for payments & there will be people in the UK offering online sessions I’m sure. Lots of people think of the Samaritans as people you have to speak to on the phone, but they’ve had an email service for about 20 years & I think you can text & basically chat online now. Mind also offer lots of resources. (And normally I’d make these all clicky links but MN is very much not playing nicely with me & I’m really in quite a lot of pain so even the thought of trying to retype everything again is almost enough to make me cry. I’m sorry.) I really REALLY hope that you were able to see one of the people you so obviously care about very deeply & that by the time you read this you are feeling... that crucial bit more able to cope. Please be gentle with yourself.

@BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls
Am sorry your DS has been upset like that - I’m right in thinking he’s at a wee village school so they know the situation? (Sorry if I’ve got you mixed up ) If that is so, though I know that teachers are having a tough time, it shouldn’t have reached the point of your DH having to contact the school - it’s not like a big 6 class entry primary with staff juggling different roles & not that familiar with most family set-ups unless they need to be. The school my nephew’s at isn’t very big mind you & his return is still a total nightmare as the SENCO hasn’t engaged with him &/or my sister at all since he started reception in September. Thankfully his AWESOME teacher (if you’re on here, thank you) has been advocating for him so he gets to go back even if it is for 1h30/day. Which is a nightmare for my sister to manage physically & he will struggle - hopefully the great eejit of a SENCO will let him stay longer when she sees that he’ll be grand because he always sits at a desk by himself.

@Madhairday
If I could work out how to post cookies to the thread to share we’d all be knee-deep in biscuits. (I feel a bit like a post-modern Marie Antoinette. Let’s not let her not having said it spoil our fun...)

@Oaksideboard
Doesn’t sound great they’ve published that & not contacted parents directly. But I’m not surprised, because Plus Ça Change I wonder if paeds shielding is likely to change more than adult shielding given children - mercifully - seem to be generally less severely unwell with the virus than they’d expected when they drew up the guidelines? 🤔 Hope that you’re not finding this all too hideously stressful.

@Babysharkdoodoodood
Bureaucracy & a kind of charming but fantastically frustrating ridiculousness of the sort that can lead to someone not having a laptop but having everything to go with it. My daddy was a civil servant (he took early retirement, for which I was v grateful - my remaining parent dashing between terror hotspots on the regular was a wee bit stressful frankly) & was frequently thwarted at every turn by, um, the civil service. Am fairly convinced the Office of Circumlocution is in fact real...
2.5” is, sadly, definitely not just dehydration. (Am guessing you’d have noticed if you’d stopped being able to straighten your legs? THAT can make quite the difference...) I’m sorry though. That’s pants. So rude of your spine. But all the cool kids have rubbish bone density? Or, er, something? As for your body deciding to dump another UTI in you? I’d be having words.
Glad your DS2 came out of his disciplinary ok - must be a huge relief for all of you.

@RhubarbJelly
Am so sorry your colleagues are being pants. Would be wonderful if the information on the 15th included something you could use to explain situation to them. Not that you should have to, but for the sake of your sanity...
(And I’ll be getting above myself with all this biscuit praise...)

@UnholyStramash
Am sorry you were so upset by that thread. I avoided it as I knew it would make me horribly angry-sad & I’ve nowhere for those feelings to go right now. Hope that as I write this you’re having a good night’s sleep & feel ok in the morning.
My ridiculous custard creams are the Loch Ness Bakery’s Smooth Vanilla Creams. I’ve not actually developed next-level notions; I just remember really liking custard creams when I was wee & could still have a wee bit of milk. Somehow none are Accidentally Vegan, unlike bourbons, the OG Accidentally Vegan sweet!snack. I got a bit overexcited when I discovered them - & the Cranachan Creams, which have jam in too - in the Very Expensive (But I’m Worth It Right? ) online vegan supermarket... I don’t know if Tesco still do their Accidentally Vegan fake Jammie Dodgers, but if they do, they’re not selling them online atm. A travesty. As are the gluten-free things trying to persuade you that they are any kind or substitute for them. Leaving aside the fact gluten is delicious & makes my very life worth living; they are committing very clear, blatant & frankly shameless jam-based offences. (I’d not realised I felt quite so strongly about biscuits, but there we are...)

Oh for goodness sake. What I was trying to say is that I’m in a lot of pain - too much pain to sleep. But then I had a big jolty-spasm of pain & in trying to catch at my phone as I was dropping it, I hit post. We are to the gods, etc... buzz buzz buzz...

Hoping will hit so tired I have to crash for a bit. Soon.

Very much hope everyone has a much better day today. With the snacks their hearts desire.

I can’t seem to find any advice for our situation. I like to plan ahead or at least know the options but no organisation I have approached has any current advice for us. My husband is in remission from blood cancer. We have been informed by his consultant that he is “at the top of the most at risk list“
He is working from home atm ( 12 hour days) I am a supply teacher who is currently furloughed . Consultant has said I could not work in a secondary school and live with my husband.
Looks as if my only option when schools return is to not return to work and have no salary. We live with the possibility of the cancer returning hanging over us. We don’t want to live separately under these circumstances ,especially as that might be indefinitely if no vaccine is developed. We have been at home for 3 months as advised. We run community support groups for all ages as volunteers so are trying to be productive. The impact financially on our lives if I cannot work and he stops being able to work from home is frightening .All we hear about is when the shielded can go for walks or that they can get emergency food boxes. What about how those who are shielding and normally work full time will live / maintain their mortgages/rents? A 33 year old mother who was shielding due to cancer asked about this at one of the govt daily briefings. The only response was “we have sent out loads of boxes of food “and “the govt know how hard it is because they know people in your situation“
All the cancer advice agencies say is “We don’t know yet what will happen” We are fortunate that we are now mortgage free but never envisaged this nightmare situation of surviving a cancer but losing our livelihoods- and having no contact with our family / grown up children who live a hundred miles away from us ,apart from face time and phone calls for the foreseeable future.