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Original poster

is anyone reaching the end of their rope with this? wfh with kids

88 replies

fartyface · 27/05/2020 18:00

hiya

I have 3 children at home aged 4-8 and am trying to work from home as a key worker in a seniorish 4 day a week job. DH is in the same position 5 days a week.

We seem to have got to the point where we cant deal with this situation any more. We both spend much of the day on calls and finding our calendars filling as the day progresses. and the kids are just gettting ignored. We dont achieve much schoolwork, we dont take them for exercise and we rarely leave the house.

It just feels that this situation is going to go on now until sept at the earliest and we cant do this that long.

Are others i the same position and can anyone help me feel like we can change it somehow?

OP posts:

Toomanycats99 · 28/05/2020 21:29

I'm a single parent working full time and whilst my oldest is self sufficient my youngest in y4 just ends up in front of the tv.

I have actually booked her in with a childminder for 3 afternoons a week. We all just need a break. My local council run holiday club are taking bookings - not guaranteed yet they will open but at least they hopefully have a place. I know a local private holiday club as well are taking provisonal holiday club bookings.

HereIamin2020 · 28/05/2020 21:30

Yes it is rough right now. My colleague had enough and has gone on a minimum 5 month sabbatical as a result. Very niche public sector role. She isn't easily replaceable at all so there job will still be there is she does want to come back. I am giving myself until September but if schools don't go back then I will probably cut my hours. Youngest nursery has already said it isn't reopening. And who knows what happens with wrap around care. It is all going to be very messy!

Lianarose · 28/05/2020 21:56

@RoseMartha can the three additional households you're shopping for order online? It seems a very big ask to get you to do it when you've so much else on your plate. I thought slots are widely available now. It would be one less thing.

Sorry for everyone struggling.

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Families

zeddybrek · 28/05/2020 22:08

Another one here.

DH and I both meant to be working FT with DC 6 and 4 at home.

I know it's not possible for everyone but I have taken unpaid leave. I wasn't even aware of the governments 18 week parental leave policy. There are certain criteria to meet but essentially your employer can't say no only delay it up to 6 months. Also it's a maximum of 4 weeks per year per child.

It was either that or I have a breakdown. Sorry to hear to many are struggling but I really do feel dual working households with young children haven't been supported nowhere near enough.

Raaaa · 28/05/2020 22:13

Yep it's doing my head in if pre school were to open tomorrow she'd be there

underneaththeash · 28/05/2020 22:30

Schools need to be doing their bit as is every other key worker.
It’s appalling that the state sector has allowed the unions and their paid staff to not educate the children they’re paid to teach.

underneaththeash · 28/05/2020 22:31

Pressed send too soon. You need to make it clear that they need to go back to school.

Bulletwithwings · 28/05/2020 22:35

Can you hire some help, a nanny in a different room or to take them out?

We don't do any schoolwork during the week, only weekends. I dont leave the house at all during the week and I have a part time nanny (telly rest of time)

I am actually annoyed my boss isnt doing the same... when her child interrupts work meetings, she moves a call because shes supervising her same age ds on a zoom playdate (she admitted to me), she is often unreachable for hours (we can see when each other are logged on) and I suspect out at shops or exercising (comes on to a call flushed and sweaty). As my boss she earns more than me and she doesnt pay for any childcare but delegates her work to me. Im thinking of quitting. But I digress.

RoseMartha · 28/05/2020 23:07

@Lianarose
one will not order online as never done it and unsure, one has no internet and the third asks because had difficulty getting a slot.

I manage usually to get one click and collect between three households including mine and then go into the supermarket for the fourth. But tricky as some food/household items still hard to get or restricted . With a once a fortnight trip to Wilco or Superdrug for all of us.
Then on top of that my parents have these moments where they decide they need a certain item and will ring up to 12 times in an hour because they suddenly cant live without it and have forgotten they called me already. Usually something like crisps or ice cream!!! 🙄 Drives me nuts!

Lianarose · 28/05/2020 23:27

Oh @RoseMartha you have done so much and it's lovely that you have, but it's OK to put yourself and your children first now. The one who has never used online shopping can learn - it's not difficult! Lack of internet is an issue I agree for the second, but perhaps a standard order for them which you (or preferably someone else - your sibling if they're a relative?) can amend slightly each week would be slightly easier? The third can start trying for slots again. And as for your parents ringing 12 times an hour for crisps, that's utterly selfish of them. I'm actually quite shocked they would behave like that. It sounds to me like people have got far too comfy with you running around after them. Time for some boundaries I think.

I've just seen you have an abusive ex too so this is clearly a pattern of people are taking advantage of and abusing you. Perhaps you could post somewhere like Relationships for some support with how to set some boundaries, because it won't be easy. You really deserve some help and support. Sending a virtual handhold - I'm a LP too, WFH full time and the DC are not going to ex-H at the moment so I know some of what you're going through.

Schoolchoicesucks · 28/05/2020 23:36

Yep. I was holding on for the possibility of part-time furlough from August. I can't totally stop working, parts of my role are essential and can only be done by me. I can't afford to reduce my hours so have been taking holiday to spend some time with my kids. I will soon run out of leave.

But the latest rumours are that part time furlough will only apply to those who have already been completely furloughed for the minimum 3 weeks. Leaving me with no holiday and 2 frustrated kids. Or half pay and 2 slightly less frustrated kids.

RoseMartha · 30/05/2020 00:24

@Lianarose thank you. Your support is really appreciated. I hope you are coping ok. 🤗🤗
Some good ideas I will be suggesting them to relevant people.

Unfortunately my parents no longer have the capacity to realise they are being selfish. It is like having extra kids. I have spent roughly six hours on the phone during lockdown to adult social care. And as parents want to be independent (even though they are not) they can not offer me much help. Which is also frustrating.

Yes I think I need to be more assertive but I am finding it difficult after coming out of an abusive relationship. Will try and post in relationships.

🤗🤗

Oblomov20 · 30/05/2020 00:37

Yep. I have been working so much that I've barely spoken to them, not gone out for exercise, not looked at their schoolwork.

It's been awful. And yes I was very jealous of those furloughed parents who were baking and playing in the garden, building bee hives etc.

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