Extras at a wedding - what do you actually enjoy?

[Bridecilla]

Guests will be fed and watered. Not wanting to go mad with £££ that won't make a jot of difference.

We've booked a really good wedding DJ. Beer on tap.

Glitter bar? Photo booth??

I love a photo booth and I think it's nice to have but I completely agree most weddings you remember are those where it's for the wrong reasons ie there was endless standing around, no drinks or terrible food.

I went to one wedding which was early afternoon (maybe 1ish?) on a roastingly hot summer's day. I'd not had chance to eat beforehand for various reasons. We were outside for a good hour, no shade anywhere, while the photographer took loads of photos. People were wilting in the heat. We then went inside finally and drinks came round. That drink was not refilled. During the meal there was one jug of water per table which wasn't replenished. No other drinks at all (and it was a social hall type place so nowhere to buy a drink either). We were all completely dehydrated by 4pm and I spent the rest of the evening with a terrible headache (although I did eventually get another drink...the evening bar was free. The irony!)

So just make sure your guests at least have water to drink! Especially if it's a hot day. And somewhere shady to rest too.

Oh, I also went to another wedding where the food was buffet style and it had all run out by the time the last table went up. They had 2 sandwiches and a slice of quiche for 8 people. So if you're doing your own catering, better to have too much food than too little.

@Graphista I mean they don't charge venue hire. It's a real venue!

Decent selection of non alcoholic drinks - I've been to weddings where the only non alcoholic drink available during dinner was orange squash!

Plenty of seating

Canapes that include a hefty proportion of veggie/vegan/gluten free. As someone GF I often have either no canapes, or only one is suitable and I'm always trying to snaffle them.

No glitter

In an open barn, seats where you don't freeze or get rained on.

Enough toilets

I haven't been to many weddings but I've discovered food is the most important part. (Then drinks- a good variety.) Make sure your guests are never hungry or thirsty. Extras are sometimes nice I'm sure but not always a necessary expense.

I have always liked sweet carts at weddings..have a massive sweet tooth though!

Fripperies like favours, photo booths etc aren't what guests are interested in.

You can keep the favours but on the last two weddings I have been to the photo booth was great fun.

No to the glitter bar, asking for trouble. Plus many guests may be wearing dry clean only clothes and it's hard enough washing glitter out! Let alone trying to get it out of dry clothing! And shoes!

@C0RA aw thank you

Sounds like you have the perfect balance OP - lots of food!! similar to another poster we attended a wedding last year where they just didnt seem to think about people needing to eat/drink during a long day? V pricey venue, half an hour drive into the countryside, everyone had to be at the venue for 12.30, meant to start at 1, wedding didnt start until nearly 2, we were then left to amuse ourselves with zero food and an expensive bar, with one tiny free glass of prosecco each but no soft option, in a room with 5 chairs between 60 day guests for 2 hours whilst the couple took photos. We were then ushered into the main hall - so bearing in mind its approaching 4pm and noones had anything to eat since breakfast... they start doing the speeches!! Which takes another hour... then the portions came and they were the classic overpriced tiny portions.. by this pointed everyones got drunk on an empty stomach so it doesnt touch the sides, which then means by 8pm everyones sobered up and yawning... then at 10pm they brought out a buffet. No logic.

I think you are very wise to spend any 'extra' on food and drink above anything else, this is the number 1 thing that makes a difference to guests' enjoyment of the wedding IMO (other than the joy of the happy couple of course!). If you can't stretch to free/open bar all evening (fair enough) then lots of nice wine on the tables and perhaps an amount behind the bar for beer/cider/soft drinks is much appreciated.

A really good band/live music can make a real difference to the atmosphere so that is also worth spending on IMO, although also nothing wrong with just a good playlist through the venue's speakers either.

Do make sure your barn is well heated, they can be very cold even in summer so for the comfort of any elderly or disabled guests ask for extra heaters to be available and also perhaps have some boxes of blankets or pashminas available in case it gets cold in the evenings?

Somewhere to sit and something to eat. Especially somewhere to sit during the speeches and to eat (with a table). A seating plan, so I don't end up at the back with the bores. I don't drink much, so a free bar is no good for me. Not really loud music either.

Although a photo booth can be fun, it only works with a small crowd and if you know most people.

Oh, and don't cut the cake too late i.e. after people are either pissed or have gone home.

Turn the music down! I know I'm obviously getting old but the last two weddings I went to, very few people danced until well in to the evening when they'd had enough to drink but it was impossible to talk to anyone. I was exhausted from shouting and trying to follow conversations I couldn't hear. It's hard enough trying to be sociable with people you don't really know , without being unable to hear them.

No cake to cut. Massive local cheeses which we'll scoff with the evening food and lots of bread and crackers

We had a extra room with bouncy castle and kids stuff in ...parents really enjoyed that .... probably more than the kids

YY inoneminute I think the ideal is to have 2 rooms or areas, one noisy and open for dancing and one quieter with lots of seating - it's not only the elderly who need a rest and want to chat for at least part of the night!

Definitely don't get one of those wandering magician twats. They corner you like a salesman in Currys and show you the same card tricks you saw at the last five weddings you've been to.

"No Kevin, I'm not amazed. I don't want to see it again, you look shit in lamé and my glass has been empty for ten minutes..."

One of our glitter makeup artists can attend with all the kit needed to cover all your party guests in glitter

Dear God no!

The glitter bar makes me recoil even without the awful blackboard message.

Enough food, free flowing booze and canapés post the ceremony / pre-meal, somewhere to sit, readily available tea and coffee after the Breakfast, a great DJ, a well thought out space (not too big / not too small), hairspray and deodorant in the ladies loo.

Best one I ever went to had all that and gave us all bacon / vegetarian sausage sandwiches as we left!

The worst wedding I went to was at 12pm with the food at 8pm! By the time we'd gone through a full mass wedding and driven an hour to the extortionate hotel that no one could justify staying in, located up the arse end of nowhere, it was 3pm and all that was served for the next 5 hours was coffee and biscuits. Not enough seating, just hours of increasingly uncomfortable standing.
By the time we got to the first dance at 10:30pm, it was time to bugger off on the hour's journey home. I say home, it was a relative's, we'd actually gone to the bother if flying over for such an experience.

From that experience I sent out information with my invitations about rough timings for the day, so people could be prepared, including local places for lunch before a 2pm ceremony for people travelling. It would be worth making people aware of the type of venue so they are appropriately dressed if weather is potentially an issue.

Lots of canapés and drinks, including non-alcoholic. Schloer on the tables as well as wine.

Photo groups arranged from biggest groups to smallest so people were able to head off from the church and not stuck hanging around. Photos were in the hotel grounds too so not too much hanging around.

No glitter bar. It's not a kids' party. Weatherproof setting way more important.

Herpes I dunno. Reading the many posts about weddings on here I get the impression everyone hates them.

If the venue is out in the sticks one fab thought for your guests is to identify a local hotel with decent rates, recommend it to your guests, then put on a minibus to transport people to and from the venue. Nothing worse after a wedding than standing in the arse end of nowhere for hours waiting for a taxi after the first one cancels because it decides it can’t be arsed to come out that far...

And please don't forget cold sugar-free soft drinks. Warm orange squash, sugary pop, and/or lukewarm water (fizzy or otherwise) is not enough. At least have sugar free lemonade and lots of ice.

If you have a 'cheese-cake' please make sure it is still fresh. These can be lovely or they can be rank!

Nothing extra. Nice ceremony, canapés and drinks during photos. Good food at reception and a good party at the evening.

Photo booth, glitter bar? Couldn't imagine anything worse. It's a wedding, not a fair.

We had a photo booth, and judging by the photo album we received with all of the photos, the majority of guests enjoyed it. You can tell when the alcohol kicks in by the photos and the captions the guests wrote next to them!

Kind of an extra, I guess, was our dessert buffet. Rather than just serving dessert at the end of the meal, we did starters, mains, speeches (only 2) and then it was mingling/room changeover time so our dessert buffet was served in the attached room and lasted a good while into the evening (with certain items added in later rather than it all being out at once)

I had to google glitter bar - it's a station to do festival-style glitter face paint stuff right? TBH, I'd enjoy that, provided it was biodegradable glitter and you had someone in charge of it so that people got decent results from it, no one messes their clothes up, and kids/tipsy adults didn't run riot with it. Done right it could give a nice festival atmosphere to the day and encourage people to take lots of photos in the way that photobooths used to a few years ago (I think everyone's a bit bored of the standard photobooths with props now).