Leaving child all day

[Mightymurphy]

At what age did you leave your child alone at home when you went to work 9-5 but not every day of the week.

Where in the world are you that all nannies, childminders, au pairs and babysitters (including students etc) outright refuse to care for anyone over 11?!

Nannies are expensive and only an option for the well-off, au-pairs only an option if you have extra space for them to live- so again, an option for the well-off; students are not available in the day and tend to go him in the summer, not sure what age babysitter you would want to supervise an 11yo all day or that anyone would want that job.

Leaves childminders, and they often don't take secondary school children.

I don't know anyone who's been able to afford options like nannies and au-pairs; round here using a nursery rather than a childminder is a marker of wealth.

Our dd did go to a childminder for the first year of secondary but that was because she was disabled and could not manage to make her way home from school alone; that was certainly not the norm.

It helps if they're sporty or have a specific interest. Lots of soccer, tennis camps etc aimed at teens. Friends teens also go to drama/dance groups that run through the summer. It is alot easier when they are primary age though.

@KneedANewLook that’s shocking. Leaving a ten year old responsible for a six year old. Anything could happen.

'Nannies are expensive and only an option for the well-off'

You can save money with a nanny share. Or just use one for some hours so your DC are not alone the whole time. It is something of a luxury option though, certainly.

'au-pairs only an option if you have extra space for them to live- so again, an option for the well-off'

A full-time au pair certainly, but you will find in the summer au pairs are available for short term contracts as their normal family goes away/sees grandparents etc. and they look to make extra cash. This is only option of you live in an area with lots of au pairs though obviously!

'students are not available in the day and tend to go him in the summer'

They are available in the daytime during the school holidays. The fact that they're home is exactly the point. They're home and looking for work just for the school holidays, that's why they're such a good option.

'not sure what age babysitter you would want to supervise an 11yo all day or that anyone would want that job.'

I think anywhere from 17 up, depending on maturity levels of everyone involved. I don't think it would need to be all day, an 11 year old can stay home for a few hours, it's just to break up the all day/every day problem. Lots and lots of students, au pairs and nannies look for short term work over the summer. I think looking after a teen is comparatively very easy so I imagine lots of people would be interested!

@kingkuta

It helps if they're sporty or have a specific interest. Lots of soccer, tennis camps etc aimed at teens. Friends teens also go to drama/dance groups that run through the summer. It is alot easier when they are primary age though.

It depends on the area. Out here in the sticks (45 minutes from a cinema or a McDonald's) there just aren't any summer camps for secondary aged children.

Specialist camps don't come cheap, and often don't cover a full day, so if you're out at work 8-6 and the camp runs 9-3, you have the added problem of getting your child there and back again. There's very little public transport around here so you're reliant on either a friends parents or a taxi (which you'd need to book about a week in advance).

@Elieza the age of criminal responsibility is 10 in the uk not 12.

'DD also wouldn’t be seen dead with a nanny or babysitter.'

If she's young enough to need a babysitter, she's young enough that you make the childcare decisions and just tell her what they are!

She doesn't need to skip through town, holding the babysitters hand, announcing to everyone 'this is my babysitter!'

I haven't done it yet as we can wfh but would from year 9. But not every day.

I think there is a difference between 1hr and 5. My DS2 when he was 11 could be left and is pretty sensible but started to get really anxious after about an hour/90 mins. He is more than capable of staying on his own. He is autistic/has ADHD so that may make a difference. I would say Y9 if they are being left all day every day, secondary age for the odd day.

You've loads of responses, but I agree with all who say secondary school aged children all day if required, for shorter periods, younger, eg 9/10. But it depends on the individual and whether the child is comfortable and responsible enough.

Thank you. It’s a concern if we both have to return to work and there is no childcare before schools open again.

Wrangling about nannies and au pairs aside, I think childcare could be a huge challenge in the summer hols this year. It'll be worse for those with younger ones though. I guess we will all muddle through, like we have through school closures.

In summer of Y7 we got through quite nicely with me working PT, the odd week of camp and a few days of organised "not-officially-childcare-just-hanging-out" swaps - I take DC and a couple of friends to the cinema on my day off, they hang out at her friend's house while her dad is WFH another. Come the summer hols, something along those lines might well be an option again. The old stalwarts of a week at guide camp seem less likely.

Thanks again everyone. DS is 12 in August. We are in Scotland so he is currently primary 7 and going to High a School in August. He is an only child and has found lockdown quite isolating. DH is already back at work. I’ll go back. I’m just not sure when.

16. I'll be reluctantly doing it again next week when my a/leave ends.

Why are you asking?

Honestly, you can't think why childcare might be an issue at the moment?

I'm in the same boat OP, ds starting part time high school in august, still only 11 and I'm a lone parent due back on 1st July. Can't use my usual childcare (grandparents) as they're shielding. In normal times I wouldn't be worried as my ds is very sensible and usually has a lot of freedom, playing out with friends etc but he too is suffering with lockdown.
No holiday clubs, not that I could afford them anyway so not sure why people are suggesting that. I'm hoping he'll be able to. go out and play with a couple of his friends who are also neighbours to break up the day a bit.
A lot of kids are going to have to grow up fast, I'm more concerned about part time schooling that I am about the holidays as he's needed a fair bit of input during the last couple of months especially with tech issues. The goverment haven't given a second thought to working parents, I'm currently awaiting a response on this from my msp.

I've never understood why holiday camps such as football, cricket, dance, tennis ones are seen as childcare solu. They almost always run 9.30-3.00 with no wraparound option so are almost predominantly used by stay at home parents as a treat for their child rather than as childcare (an exception might be if you could get a grandparent or a willing friend to have them for a couple of hours before and after).

Round here, the private schools that do full day summer holiday clubs take up to and including Yr 7 (from other schools as well) and are not massively expensive, except on trip day, so they're worth enquiring about for year 7s.

Most year 8s plus, barring SEN, should be able to stay by themselves all day. Granted, it may be a bit boring for six weeks, which is why I think parents of older teens tend to book odd days off scattered through the holidays rather than block book full weeks.

DS is 11 and since last year have been working on gradually building his independence etc. He has his own house key so if he is playing out, I pop to shop or his Grandma's etc he takes himself home, let's himself in, locks door from inside.

If I take youngest DS for a walk in his pushchair or I go to Asda etc (DH works away) he prefers to stay home. He is sensible, if he makes himself lunch he sticks to non oven foods such as a toastie or sandwich, keeps his phone on high volume and replies straight away if I text (same as he does if he is playing out)

From September he will get school bus to our area then walk home, let himself in any time between 3.20 and 4.30 and I will arrive home approx 5.30ish.

14

I would also have no problem him staying home if I had to work providing he checked in with me regularly, he has done approx 5 hours previously which consisted of getting dressed, going for a jog, home and showered, breakfast, school work, Netflix, lunch, ps4 then I was home. He's quite independent and would do this if I was in or out.

'I've never understood why holiday camps such as football, cricket, dance, tennis ones are seen as childcare solu. They almost always run 9.30-3.00'

They work well as childcare for older children, which is what's being discussed here. Children who are old enough to be on their own for a period of time but not 10 hours a day, every day for weeks on end.

These camps break the day up. Most 11 year olds could be left 8-9am and walk themselves to a club and then walk themselves home and stay alone 3pm-6pm, but might be unhappy at being left 8am-6pm every day.

@NuffSaidSam

'I've never understood why holiday camps such as football, cricket, dance, tennis ones are seen as childcare solu. They almost always run 9.30-3.00'

They work well as childcare for older children, which is what's being discussed here. Children who are old enough to be on their own for a period of time but not 10 hours a day, every day for weeks on end.

These camps break the day up. Most 11 year olds could be left 8-9am and walk themselves to a club and then walk themselves home and stay alone 3pm-6pm, but might be unhappy at being left 8am-6pm every day.

But the point is they don't work for a lot of older children because their location means it's impossible for the child to get home on their own safely.

It's fine if you live a 20 minute walk away, but not everyone lives in locations like that. Children here just don't go to paid childcare once they hit secondary. They go to friends' houses during the day, meet up at the park or go to the beach, or maybe get the train to the nearest big town and go to the cinema or McDonald's.

We've been leaving our 12 year old for a couple of hours at a time, I'm guessing we might leave him for the age at around age 14 if we had to be out all day on occasion (not sure about every day) but it really depends on the kid and how sensible they are. Yours might be more sensible than mine!

I think a lot of people posting about using sports clubs etc must live in large towns or cities. When you live in a village or small town the options are limited.
The council do all day sports camps but only for primary age. I think there is something for secondary age but it’s something sill like 1 hour a day. When you live in a rural village with next to no public transport that isn’t an option plus is more risky than just letting the child stay at home!!

I leave my 11 and 13 year old at home. 9 year old goes to his school holiday club when it’s on (2 weeks of summer holidays and an odd day at Easter. They don’t run it any other time.)
I do work a 10 min drive away so know I can get back quickly in an emergency. I’m not sure I would be as happy if I worked an hour traffics packed commute away.

'But the point is they don't work for a lot of older children because their location means it's impossible for the child to get home on their own safely.'

Of course, they don't work for everyone, like absolutely everything else in the world!!

I don't think the point of this thread is to find a single childcare solution that works for every child, of every age, in every location, on every budget! It's a discussion about all the different childcare options that are available.

Someone asked why sports clubs are being suggested as childcare and I answered why, for some people, they are good childcare solution. Lots of children DO live in cities and for those children it's a very good solution. Not every single thing is going to apply to your specific situation!

There are a lot of shades of grey though. I agree that a lot of sports camps do run 9-3 which is tricky to juggle with work, and will be useless for some. But for years we have used them, with a combination of us staggering our work so DH drops off & I collect, lift sharing with other families and doing wraparound for each other, part time working parent working shorter hours over more days, early finishes and making time up in the evening. For many families it's not an all or nothing thing, 8-6 or it's useless. It can be juggled.

But of course not all jobs can be done flexibly, and it needs willing people to coordinate with - partners and/or other families.

Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm in a reasonable sized city - 120,000 pop'n but ALL of those types of summer camps are in one end of town and there's probably only a few kids who are in walking distance of them. The rest and anyone in surrounding villages would have to take two buses to get there. Just not workable. If they were full days, parents could drop off and pick back up.