Leaving child all day

[Mightymurphy]

At what age did you leave your child alone at home when you went to work 9-5 but not every day of the week.

I was left home all day from age 10, but this was in the late 80s/early 90s. My mum had no other choice. Honestly, it was completely fine. I made myself lunch and snacks and watched a lot of tv and read. I'm not sure I'd personally do it before 11/12 now.

About 12 or 13 but just a random day for teacher training, not all the time.

I think I was 12. With 10 year old sibling. But maybe I was 10. How bad is it that I can't remember?

Ds won't be going to a cm when he's in high school, so he'll be on his own in the holidays. Most cm and holiday clubs here just about go up to 12.

I was eleven when I was left for the day occasionally, but at 12 I was home alone all day during the holidays, with a key so I could go out and meet friends in the park or whatever.

That was pretty normal amongst all my friends.

Depends who else is on hand/how far away you work. Odd day perhaps coming back to make lunch I’d leave them when they were younger, but day after day all summer...they’d need to be responsible enough to make lunch/pop to shops or to meet friends and lock up whilst out, so a big step up in my opinion.

11

My mum only worked 8-2 so I woke up alone and she was usually home by 3ish. I must have been 10/11 when that started.

My DSD is 18 in 5 months and we 'aren't allowed' to leave her alone for more than a few hours and not past 7pm 😹

What are all these parents doing who says that they don’t leave their child before 13-14?

I work in Central London and can’t just say in each holiday that I wfh or take unpaid leave.

It is a matter of teaching your child to be independent and how to deal with these days at home.

Most working parents I know do it as childcare provisions dry up as soon as they are out of primary school unless you pay for very expensive camp holidays.

We are lucky, DD’s Scout team does a full week Summer camp but other than the time we take as annual leave there is no way to send her anywhere.

Combination of activities/camps, family/friends and paid childcare I would guess.

Au pairs/students are a popular choice for older children. Some people who still have younger children as well as teens will have a nanny.

In 90s it was from secondary school. However I let myself in after school from about 8 and would be alone until 5/6pm. There wasn't an option really as there wasn't much childcare and my mum didn't speak to her parents. However I had to babysit my brother then as he wasn't mature enough to be at home alone and that I did resent as he was a little demon

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children ( NSPCC ) says: children under 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time. children under 16 should not be left alone overnight. babies, toddlers and very young children should never be left alone.

Gov.uk says The law does not say an age when you can leave a child on their own, but it’s an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk.
Use your judgement on how mature your child is before you decide to leave them alone, for example at home or in a car.

Gov.uk says the age of criminal responsibility in England and Wales is 10 years old. The rules are different in Scotland. This means that children under 10 can't be arrested or charged with a crime. There are other punishments that can be given to children under 10 who break the law.

So all in all if you leave your child and something happens either you or they can be punished by the law for it. And if they stupidly committed some kind of crime they can be held responsible from age 12.

What are all these parents doing who says that they don’t leave their child before 13-14?

Combination of friends/family/paid childcare/holiday clubs and annual leave

Depends on maturity of child and area you live in. I could leave mine for odd days from middle of year 7 and full days by end of year 8.
I used a combination of family, days out with friends and day camps and annual leave. Expensive at times but for my piece of mind totally worth it.

Thank you. It’s a concern if we both have to return to work and there is no childcare before schools open again.

@kingkuta

What are all these parents doing who says that they don’t leave their child before 13-14?

Combination of friends/family/paid childcare/holiday clubs and annual leave

I really must be unlucky, no friends who are not working either, family is over 80 and abroad, holiday clubs are not for over 11s and I don't have enough annual leave together with DH to cover all the holidays.

Even if I would have friends who are at home, I couldn't return the favour as I work 4 days a week and the 5th is a day I love to do something together with DD alone.

Just glad hat DD has a sensible (mostly) head on her shoulders and agrees to rules about being alone.

I leave my ds 11 from 6am to 2pm on occasion if the schools are off and his dad is also early shift. Have been doing this since he was 10

@kingkuta

What are all these parents doing who says that they don’t leave their child before 13-14?

Combination of friends/family/paid childcare/holiday clubs and annual leave

That's interesting - paid childcare doesn't exist at all here for anyone over the age of 11.

That's interesting - paid childcare doesn't exist at all here for anyone over the age of 11

Really, you dont think anyone pays anyone to look after their child once they reach 11

As I've said previously my dd is only 9 but I pay someone to look after her at least 1 day a week, more in the holidays and this will continue until its needed not stop at 11!

Not a good idea at all.

'That's interesting - paid childcare doesn't exist at all here for anyone over the age of 11'

Where in the world are you that all nannies, childminders, au pairs and babysitters (including students etc) outright refuse to care for anyone over 11?!

I've never, ever come across this!

It totally depends on the child. Of my two DD's I could have left one from 7 (obviously I didn't) as she's always been an extremely sensible kid. Her sister I get nervous leaving at almost 17 because she's ditzy.

There isn't, and should be, an arbitrary age when it's ok to leave them

Where in the world are you that all nannies, childminders, au pairs and babysitters (including students etc) outright refuse to care for anyone over 11?!

I was referring to holiday clubs and commercial childcare as opposed to private arrangements, but saying that, our town only has one childminder and she doesn't take children over the age of 11. We're in relatively low-income area so nannies and au pairs aren't really a thing (no spare rooms or spare income). I'm sure there are babysitters but it's not very commonplace.

It's not so much that facilities refuse to take them but there's just nothing set-up for older children around here. If you travel to the cities, maybe, but not out in the sticks.

I'm in West Cumbria.

Crumbs once mine were at secondary school they'd never have agreed to holiday club or a childminder, the moaning about after school club in year 6 was bad enough !

@bigchris

Crumbs once mine were at secondary school they'd never have agreed to holiday club or a childminder, the moaning about after school club in year 6 was bad enough !

Same here. I do think Barracudas takes children up to 14. It even at 10-11 DD was one of the youngest.

Her childminder doesn’t take children older than primary school and prefers term time contracts as most parents do prefer clubs with activities to a childminder, especially the older they get.

DD also wouldn’t be seen dead with a nanny or babysitter. It may be different if there are younger siblings but if the pre-teen is the youngest or an only child they do have to cope alone.

It depends on the child and how much you trust them to act in an emergency. If you can trust them not to set the house on fire or know what to do in case neighbour house catches fire then I trust them more. Using my own personal rule, the child needs to be in secondary school age.