Neighbours asked us to be quiet

[sillystupidupset]

My next door neighbours told us we are being to loud in the mornings. I have a 8 month old baby who is awake around 6. He is finding his voice and talking loudly and shouting. He doesn't cry, and is happy... just learning to make noises I suppose.

I can't control this at all, playing, holding, rocking etc does not stop him from doing it.

I feel so awful about my neighbours but what can I do?

I guess I'm just asking on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad should I feel

It is early and it would annoy me but he’s also just a baby and you can’t keep him quiet! Can you move into a different room away from their bedroom?

Do nothing! Continue with your life and ignore.

@Feelingdeprived It would annoy me too! Yes I go downstairs straight away but I suppose thin walls and no other noises at that time so they can still hear

Can you move into a room that doesn't share a wall with his property? Close windows early morning so the sound doesn't carry?

There's nothing you can do about it. He's a baby. They are unreasonable.

@Ylvamoon that's the response I was hoping for, but I still feel guilty. What do I say if they say it again?

I'd hate it because I'm noise sensitive and allergic to mornings, but your baby is meant to be making those noises, it's healthy.

I'd forgo any of the niceties involving cards through doors apologising for any disruptions but look at this photo of my pretty baby. If you can set up a comfortable space for yourself and the baby whoch is as far from their side of the house as possible, give that a go.

Just explain that you can’t stop him chatting but you will move to a room without a shared wall and try to minimise the noise.

Don’t feel guilty. Your son has as much right to chat as your neighbour has a right to quiet. You can only do your best.

Windows are all closed and only have a small house so living room is the only room downstairs (except a small kitchen) and both are on their side.

I do try my best

Seems simple really, you can’t stop a baby making noise and neither should you. It’s not being done on purpose to annoy your neighbours so they should look into ways to reduce noise levels such as...ear plugs.

I think as long as you are genuinely trying to keep him quiet, not using noisy electronic toys where the noise can carry, and persistently stamp on any screaming/shouting once he is of an age to have any volume control, that is all you can do

I would just reply and say you cannot stop him but when he's old enough to understand he needs to be quiet then you will work hard on implementing this (my 2.5 year old is really good now at saying "shhh people sleeping" and will keep quiet in the mornings. However when he was younger he also got complaints of being noisy!)

Can they not move their bedroom? How much noise comes the other way? What are noise levels like the rest of the time?

A baby gurgling you cannot help but if you also play music in the garden or have DIY projects going on all day or make a lot of noise in the evening as well, it changes the perception.

If it’s just the baby then they are being excessive.

You shouldn't feel bad, but neither should your neighbours.
We've all had babies, and babies are noisy.
So, as others have said, you just do what you can, by moving to the furthest bit of the house from the dividing walls etc.
It's amazing how noise travels through dividing walls- my neighbour babysits her grandchild and I'll be honest, it's noisy. It's also in the afternoon. If it was early morning I'd probably ask them to maybe keep him in the other side of their flat as I would for my neighbours. And I'd start to get pretty fucked off if I did ask them and was told to buy earplugs.

Presumably if you have a small house siding into them, they have the same.

Is the only noise him chattering away or are you doing loud cooing over what a clever thing he is and how breakfast is nearly ready etc. Because the baby noise from my neighbours I could tolerate at 6am but performance parenting when I want to sleep would have me telling you to be quiet

on a scale of 1-10 it's a 1! How much noise can a 8 month baby make?? Are your walls made of tissue paper?

Not much you can do really! Just say to them that you are doing your best .Babies will chatter on .Can you move your wardrobes to the wall adjoining them ?That may deaden any sound .

Thanks for the replies everyone.

There is no annoying parenting noises coming from me 🤣

We are a quiet family in general, never any noise past 7 because our baby goes to bed. And he doesn't cry through the night because I put him on my boob at the first sign of upset. By 6 he has had enough and is wide awake.

The noise that comes the other way is pretty interesting 🤣 might have a month of silence and then 1 week of chaos. And we never complained because we thought it might cause a problem. Lesson learnt!

@dottiedodah we actually have fitted wardrobes on that wall! So should add a bit of a barrier

@Aretheystillasleepbob it's not much noise but in the silence of the morning it does sound 10 times worse than at any other time of day

On a 1 - 10, 0!

They might as well make an official complaint to the birds in the trees outside and tell them to stop singing. Everybody know it's annoying to get woken up early, everybody knows that babies' noises can be irritating.

People generally accept that babies don't have volume controls, though, so unless you're stomping about and playing loud music and shouting, too, there's nothing you can do, and they need to accept that.

If you can stop your baby chattering when he wakes up at 6, can you please come here and have a word with the birds who start just after 4. Then the foxes who are enjoying g a bit of 'summer lovin'

Life happens - nature happens. It's not like you're putting on the TV or hoovering FFS

It's not even like he's crying & you're leaving him to CIO. He's just chattering. How fucking miserable do you have to be to complain about that?!

0 guilt and DO NOT let it spoil your happiness with your gorgeous baby in the mornings.

Have you talked to them about it? How well do they know you and your baby? Once they know and accept that it's just how it is for the moment it might make it less stressful for everyone.

They have no right to moan - babies cooing are part of life, it's a natural noise and not comparable to a neighbour playing loud music or doing DIY all day. I'd have no sympathy with them tbh. Complaining about this is actually quite shitty of them.

They live in a house with shared walls - they can't legitimately complain if they hear noise. I'm of the tell them to buy earplugs pov.

as you describe, there is precious little that can be done.

But - it will help if you acknowledge to them that they have a right to air their concerns about noise, that you have noted it and are doing what you can to reduce it.

Acknowledge that you know they are upset by it - they have a right to peaceful enjoyment of their property - you ARE disturbing that - even if there is nothing that can be done about it.

Just talk - be nice - basically...