Neighbours asked us to be quiet

[sillystupidupset]

My next door neighbours told us we are being to loud in the mornings. I have a 8 month old baby who is awake around 6. He is finding his voice and talking loudly and shouting. He doesn't cry, and is happy... just learning to make noises I suppose.

I can't control this at all, playing, holding, rocking etc does not stop him from doing it.

I feel so awful about my neighbours but what can I do?

I guess I'm just asking on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad should I feel

Honesty don’t try to change anything- especially shushing the baby or getting grouchy with each other. That won’t be nice for any of you.
Ignore the neighbours and if they mention it again ask what it is they think you can do differently? But don’t apologise as you and your baby have done absolutely nothing wrong.

I would just ignore them and get on with your life. If they come back then remind them that their dogs bark a lot and although you find it annoying you have never complained as it is part of living joined on to other houses. Then just leave it there.

Ignore your neighbours and stop shushing your baby. They’re being ridiculous.

My dm had neighbours who told her she had the tv too loud, apparently she banged the front door when she shut it. She lived on her own so not really noisy.
It all came to a head when she went to work and didn’t shut the front door properly because she was worried about making a noise. She got a phone call at work from the police as they thought she had been burgled. She returned home and confirmed she hadn’t been burgled but may not have shut the door properly because of her nasty neighbours.
The neighbours got told by the police that their ridiculous complaints had resulted in them being called out unnecessarily.
They never complained again.

Why don't you put him to bed later?

@Chochito few reasons-

He is tired and ready to sleep at that time

It won't make him wake up later

I get a few hours to myself to have dinner, clean up etc

When my DH goes back to work in a few weeks he will be waking up at 6 to get ready so will wake him anyway

If they have two dogs who bark all day and all night, I’m amazed they can hear a baby who isn’t crying. Do you think your baby really is the issue or is lockdown just getting to them?

Ignore your neigbours and carry on as you are.

Ignore ignore ignore. Your neighbours are being totally ridiculous. (As are some of these posters). How old are your neighbours and do they have / have they had children out of interest? It’s usually the childless who come up with these silly suggestions / complaints that make no sense in actual real life. “You chose to have children” well your neighbours chose to live in a terraced/semi-detached house, they choose to go to bed late enough that a 6am wake up is too early, blah blah. We are end terrace and have two kids that are up early and we put music on etc. My NDNs probably hate it, but I don’t love them watching Stranger Things in the evening so loud that I know what episode they’re on. I wouldn’t complain though, they’ve got to live their life and we’ve got to live ours. It comes with the territory of being attached to someone else’s house that your routines and accompanying noise may be incompatible. You can’t let it rule your life. It’s not unreasonable that they find it annoying, but they were unreasonable to complain IMO.

Ah well if they have two barking dogs tell them you'll keep your kid quiet when they keep their dogs quiet.

Completely ignore them theres nothing you can do, dont let these people get inside your head. If they get silly tell them that their constant dog barking is scaring the kids and that you are reporting them to the noise complaint people.

Don't worry about it. He's a baby and they need to get a grip.
My 10 no screams his head off just for fun. Literally just done it then. I can't stop him and why would I. He's a baby after all.

Mo*

They have 4 adult children but they no longer live at home

Did they specifically say it was the baby that was causing the noise? Or did they just say you’re too noisy in the morning? Unless your walls are just a thin plasterboard between homes then I can’t understand how an 8 month old not crying would make that much noise that it would wake them up when they’re upstairs and you’re downstairs in separate homes? And I say that as someone who’s got three kids and lived in some shitely soundproofed places!

I’d ask them what the noise is - could be coming from the neighbours on the other side and not yours? Sound travels in odd ways through walls.

Definitely do not shush your baby when he’s laughing/talking etc, it’ll do him more harm than your neighbours (and legally you’re not making an antisocial noise if the noise is from your baby, they’re exempt so you’ll not face repercussions from council/landlord etc if you don’t own your home)

OP, you live in a very small house with very thin walls, and if you share a wall with them, I imagine their house is of the same type and design.

If the noise you're making is really as you describe, there's not a lot you can do to reduce it. Your neighbours should wear earplugs and count themselves lucky they're not living next to students who like to party all night, or a professional drummer. If they really can't handle it, they need to move somewhere with thicker walls.

Ignore and carry on doing as you are. Please don't get stressed about him making noise. He's a young baby, let him be.

I'm torn between eye rolling and laughter at the posters claiming you should keep him quiet because you chose to have him. When did we get so intolerant of absolutely everything in life? Dear God, how on earth did people live cheek by jowl in the past without killing each other? I wonder how many fights broke out in caves because people in the cave next door got woken by a baby. Utter nonsense.

That sounds like normal baby behaviour!

He is being very unreasonable, ignore him, what a grump

I can't believe they have barking dogs. What nobbers.

Oh no, we had (have) a noisy baby too who is loud even when she is not crying. Our neighbour can hear her but fortunately they are family. Your neighbour has a right to be annoyed but there is not much else that can be done.

Ignore..hold your head up and carry on as you were...

What do I say if they say it again?

Calmly ask him what he wants you to do about it.

I'm a bit bemused at asking a baby to shush. What response does your DH expect? Or is the shushing actually aimed at you?

@Chochito putting a child to bed later does not automatically mean they will wake up later. Often it has the opposite effect sadly. Certainly did with mine.

@Marsalimay this is the perfect way to handle it (and then mention their barking dog or other loud noises they make. )

My ds woke up at 6 regardless of what time he went to bed. I tried all sorts to move it to a later point in the day, including moving bedrooms. Nothing worked. He just ended up tired and cranky.

Op, make the right sympathetic noises to the the neighbour and ignore.

Find out which room they sleep in and stay as far away from it as you can in the mornings.