Help Me! I’m going to shoot myself if I have to hear anymore about bloody cycling!!😱
DP has always been sporty, played football very well in younger years, still plays 5-a side 3 times a week (lockdown put a stop to that) he’s part of a gang of overweight 50-somethings puffing round a pitch, but they love it and enjoy it.
Since lockdown, he’s re-discovered his bike - and is now totally obsessed! It takes over every conversation, out every day going miles, he wants all the bloody gear (and it’s expensive!) and tonight ... the final straw...
He thinks he should fake-tan his legs and arms...!! He’s nearly 60, but in reasonable shape, but he’s also Celtic, so red hair (when he had some) and the palest skin, that burns furiously the minute the suns out!
I’ve tried explaining how fake tan works, how it would look against his milky white skin etc, but he won’t listen!
So - should I shoot me so I don’t have to listen to the cycling saga any more?
Or
Should I shoot him so I don’t have an orange Dp with scabby knees?