Your worst ever colleague

[CrimsonCattery]

Just a bit of fun. All my current colleagues rate from amazing to only mildly irritating but in the past have worked with some right wankers.

The worst one was a couple of years ago. Civil service open plan office. Friendly team. One man was the same grade as me and started at a similar time never spoke to me which was fine if a little odd as we were all learning the work. We had the same mentor who was a lovely older woman eho had been doing our job for years. Our boss was also female.

Mentor told me he was completely blanking her and would only go to the men in our team for advice. He refused to take any direction from women and would default to our boss' male counterpart. We hotseated and he started kicking off if asked to sit next to someone of a lower grade (we were still relatively junior) which was bizarre as no one else cared about seniority like that. The men in our team also hated him and he narrowly escaped being hit at one Xmas social after a disgusting comment he made about the women in the team (they refused to share what he said). His work was also crap and he got fired for a combination of that and his terrible attitude.

We later found out from Google he had been fired from his previous job where he should have been helping people because he was unfairly finding against people he disapproved of. It was in the news as he lost an employment tribunal after he sued them.

Have also worked with milk thieves, phantom shitters and other oddballs. Its very dull where I am now in comparison!

He’d always ask why I was single and once said: ‘if I wasn’t married, I’d be out there shagging around like no one’s business.’ Doubt it mate, you’re a balding midget with halitosis.

@Bassethound - that is always the way though - the gross ones do have people chasing after them. Watch the TV shows about the men with multiple wives. It's always amazing to me they've manage to secure ONE, let alone half a dozen.

Dealing with mine now. Well, not NOW, as i've been furloughed since March, and I was only with the company since the beginning of March, but I actually have a bit of anxiety at the thought of going back to work and having to deal with her. Granted she's young, 21, but my God she has to be the most unrefined person i've ever met. We work as customer service assistants in a business centre - hence CUSTOMER SERVICE. I have many years experience in this, and even when I was starting out I had the brains to know how to conduct myself in a professional manner. This chick is something else. When a customer approaches the desk there's no pleasantries from her. She's usually in a foul mood and looks at the customer like shit, like they're inconveniencing her. If there's a customer sat in reception she's on her phone effing and blinding and i'm sat there cringing my tits off. I'm used to really corporate reception settings for large organisations so have never experienced this kind of unprofessional conduct. She's just so unwilling and unhelpful. I was told by the boss to ensure the meeting rooms are always up to a particular standard etc. So on a quiet day I'd do the rounds and I found that there were a few items missing..... teaspoons on teacups etc... I asked her where I could find them and she said she didn't know (she's been there a year) and that it doesn't matter. I reminded her that a management meeting was looming (where all the managers of the different centres would visit - including the big cheese manager) and she was like "Yeah, I don't know, whatever. The thing that surprises me the most is that people/customers are so nice to her and act like she's doing them a huge favour by assisting them.... I certainly don't plan to stick around in this job - I took it as it's close to home but, honestly, mind-boggling.

I used to work for a company where there was a constant clash between the Sales department and the Operations department (the ones who actually did the work). Unfortunately the overall manager was a former salesman, and if asked to arbitrate he always found in favour of the sales staff even if they were in the wrong. It gave rise to a horrible atmosphere, and I vowed that I would never work in a sales environment again.

A job I had back in very early twenties - the director of the company openly admitted to only hiring me because of "those" pointing to my boobs.

We had a teacher in our school who had thick, and I mean really thick, plaque on his teeth, it was so thick it was like he'd never ever cleaned his teeth IN HIS LIFE. His hair and clothes always looked clean, he was married, but OMG they were rank!

Not a person but a whole company! I tempted for a big catering company and it was awful, they changed the rules at a moments notice, treated temps as totally expendable and couldn't understand why no one wanted to become full time staff. They let me go after I'd turned down their offer of a job three times, only time I've been sacked and it was a blessing

Worked at Burger King when I was a 17 year old student.It was a toss up between the manager who use to stand in his cupboard sized office with the door open and scratch his genitals in open view of us and would occasionally sniff his fingers after his scratch 🤮

Or the creepy guy in his 30's who use to put his arm around all the young female staffs waists and shoulders.I was too embarrassed to say anything but my best mate lived next door to one of the deputy managers and told him that this guy made me really uncomfortable and he was dealt with.

Had one when I worked in retail. I was the assistant manager, she clearly wanted my job but she couldn't commit to the hours so was a supervisor instead. I'd also come in from another store so she had no idea about my experience. I was also younger.

She never tried it on when the manager was in she was all buddy buddy with her. But when it was me and her in the store, she would do everything to make it look like she was the manager and I was her junior. She'd greet the customers but if they actually wanted anything I'd get beckoned over and they'd be told "MummBra will help you with that", or "MummBra can you get xyz for this customer please" in her best loud I'm the boss really voice.

If I had to count up the money in the back office she hated it, find any old excuse to drag me back onto the shop floor so SHE could sit on her arse and do management stuff (and doss around no doubt). She'd contradict my decisions in front of customers and once in front of my own sister which made me hopping mad.

We did a particular service in this shop, and I'll always remember the day I was up to my neck in other stuff and she tried to do her "I'll get my subordinate to see to you" bit, I finally stood up to her and said she had to do it herself. Her jaw dropped to the floor and she went crying to the manager that she had no idea what she'd done to upset me

I was young back then, I don't think I'd take half the shit she pulled now.

I ended up having a nervous breakdown due to a colleague last year. She was widely disliked as being an awful, disorganised person who would off load work left right and centre and get away with it. Thankfully after 13.5 years of being subjected to her I left! The improvement in my mental health even with all the challenges this year has brought to us all has been immense!

I've got a few of these -

When I was a teenager I worked at Wollworths. Loved my job there soo much until we got a new manager. She didnt really like any if the old staff; she worked hard to push them out and into retirement.
I was in charge of the Entertainment counter at weekends and once I left the keys to our stock room on one of the racks. She picked them up and left me in a panic; worrying all day that they'd been stollen. Smokers were given extra breaks to nip outside and smoke. She hired this vile woman (I swear) to spy on us. She would tattle about every little thing. She also swore a lot and one brought her kid into work and expected me to look after him while trying to work.

After that; I find finished college and went to work in a nursery. Loved that job too but again the bitchiness with an all female group was not fun. Older workers expecting younger ones to stand eating their lunch bc there wasnt enough chairs. Leaving new team members alone in the room with 20+ kids. One I witnessed doing a pregnancy test and crying all day when it came back positive. Apparently her boyfriend was going to kill her.
During college (before woolies) I did work experience in a lot of nurseries. One of the guys that worked there tried to give me his number in secret. I was 16 and his GF/mother of his child also worked with us. He was soo persistent the whole time I was there; i was soo happy when work experience ended and I left.

There are so weird arse people out there!

Name changed for this as quite specific.

Worked in travel and a new woman started and I was asked to train her. She had food down her jumper, green food in her teeth and breath that could fell a wilderbeast She claimed to have been a travel agent manager but she thought Emirates Airlines flew between Manchester and London so I’m guessing she’d lied on her CV. She was utterly useless too.

Funniest bit was when me and another colleague walked into the ladies (situated off the canteen) and found her sat in a cubicle, lid down, door open, eating a KFC bucket meal GRIM!

She did not stay long thank Christ.

Oh yes, as well as jizz man, I worked for an utter cow one year. It was a terrible year from a personal point of view - five members of my extended family had died, four of them from a hereditary cancer that I’d just been diagnosed with. She knew all this and told me I should “make more effort to look cheerful as people were complaining about me looking miserable.” She had no interpersonal skills whatsoever.

Nearly every female manager I have had has been older than me and has bullied me and tried to knock my confidence. I have left several roles because of being made to feel like a worthless piece of shit despite having a team of people working for me that respected me and loved working with me...

Then to the current management... 2 totally clueless males who have no understanding of a woman being pregnant, and one who has found it perfectly acceptable to make comments on my size during my pregnancy, and how both have been wankers when it comes to returning back to work!

Generally anyone who isn't management that I've worked with have all been characters but fantastic people to work with

So so many.....
I worked in hospitality during college and Uni, one guy who was a departmental manager at a large convention centre / arena type place would harass all the women.
We were all aged between 16-20 or so, he was late thirties. He would ask us to massage his shoulders, he would lean over us while checking the tills, by lean over I mean stand directly behind and lean himself into our backs and arse cheeks, put his arm over my shoulder to touch the till, he was gross we couldn't do anything about it. The worst was him saying he'd spank us if the tills were wrong, I don't doubt he'd have tried.
Years later I worked with another guy who was just awful and described himself as the "Hugh Grant of Premier Inn" he was just yuck and pretty incompetent too and resembled Jabba the hut.
I also worked with a woman who was completely off her face regularly on a Monday, her weekend blended into her Monday and we would be asked to do the most random tasks while she nursed her drug come down, she once sent me out for orange juice a pillow and a toaster, we were not allowed a toaster in the office as it set the alarm off too many times, I had to buy one from Argos, came back to the office and she screamed at me that I'd forgotten the bread to toast and the butter and jam, I was quite young I didn't honestly connect the toaster was to make toast then and there in the office.
Her dealer would often pop by on a Thursday afternoon so she was set for the weekend. She was a dirty ticket too, I once walked in on her washing in the sink then wiping her fanny on the communal toilet hand towel.
Gosh there's quite a few odd ones now I come to think of it.

Had a complete incompetent on my team. She just could not do the job and blow me, she had so much support, it was ridiculous, like stepping her through basics. I honestly wanted to support her, but she’d improve on one thing for one week, but then couldn’t sustain that the next week when asked to add in something else tiny.

It was bizarre, like she just couldn’t hold more than one thing in her head at a time. It didn’t help that she lied and was lazy and hoarded stuff that we all needed. A new boss came in and the line manager told him she was the biggest problem we had. He put her on a strict programme then when she still didn’t improve, he quietly let her go.

Not my personal experience (thank goodness), but I heard about it from DH. Some years ago one of the managers in his office needed to recruit a new secretary, and set all the interviewees the following task:

"A colleague is approaching his silver wedding anniversary, and his wife is planning a surprise celebration. A week before the party, the Managing Director tells the colleague that he must go overseas for the next two weeks. Write a letter to the colleague's wife explaining why her husband won't be able to be at his own anniversary party."

When DH told me this, my response (once I'd recovered the power of speech) was as follows:

"First of all, I'd ask the interviewer if this situation was ever likely to arise in real life. If the answer was No, the exercise was pointless in the extreme. If the answer was Yes, I'd say that in that case the person who'd caused the problem (ie the Managing Director) should be the one who has to deal with it. I'd then add that if this is how the company treats its staff, I wouldn't want to work for them anyway."

I worked with a woman whose teeth were like something out of the Middle Ages. I have truly never seen anything like it before or since. Her mouth was a rotting mass of bloodied gums and decaying teeth. You could smell if she'd used a phone. You walked into huge, the open plan office in the morning and knew she was there because of the smell.

She was a nice person though, I think

I went for an NHS interview and the lady interviewing seemed, to put it bluntly, like a total cunt. She had me do some tests on the computer and I saw an emblazoned note stuck on the top of the computer saying 'Boss Lady MUST be copied in on ALL emails'

Fuck that. I had a gap year instead

My worst was when I worked at a playgroup. For a bit of context she was a mum who had fertility issues so rightly or wrong treated her child like the second coming and we had had a few issues whilst her child was a "student" at the playgroup. Children have the occasional playing bump or ouchie. She would go nuts and want to know exactly what happened where it happened what we would be doing to prevent it happening again etc. If it was an avoidable accident then of course she would have every right to re-course etc but these were invariably just little ouchies but however little they are we of course documented them. I had to run through one such incident with mum once, and as every mum gets a "deer in headlights moment" when they see you walking towards them with the form, to put mum at ease I was smiling and was all "dont worry all is well" etc. She made a formal complaint about me as said I was joking about the incident, thought it was funny and didn't take it seriously. It went on record and I had to write down my version of both the actual accident and my handling of it. Mum did not speak to me for the remainder of time child was there. Then a vacancy becomes available. She applies and gets the job!! Obviously I was very unhappy but prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt. From the very first day she picked apart every aspect of the working environment and critisised the managers there. She then began to criticise me to everyone else, I was lazy, bossy etc, but would criticise everyone else to all but the person she was talking about. We all knew she was doing it, everybody hated her for it but managers refused to do anything. She then began to critisise the children in her care in front of them. She Would question other children's abilities to other workers but in front of other children who were very intuitive and knew what she was talking about as they would ask us questions about what they'd heard! She was an absolute horror of a person to work with but I thank her for how she was, as I got out of there as fast as I could. I now have a job and colleagues I absolutely love and am recieving three times the salary! I never confronted her but I really wanted to. but i knew it would cause issues for the remaining people as she would have made their lives hell, but I wish I had said something. As far as I know she's still up to the same stuff and getting away with it

I once walked in on her washing in the sink then wiping her fanny on the communal toilet hand towel

I’ve worked with some oddballs in my time but there was a woman who worked in a supermarket with me when I was 16 who was pretty gross. I happened to walk out of a loo cubicle at the same time as she came out of one, and she said in a satisfied tone ‘Ahhh! That was so good I’m not even going to wash my hands!’ Thankfully she was going home rather than back out to serve customers.....

Fucking nuts manager who used to tie the stapler and other stationery items to her belt so that nobody could borrow them. Oooh, the memories of having to work in an office bring me out in a sweat - stressful times.

A vile male staff nurse who seemingly got away with sexually assaulting male patients. He’s been struck off now, thank goodness. An evil, evil man.

My worst was when I worked at a playgroup.

^

Oh god this brings back another memory.

I worked abroad for a notorious holiday company as a children's activity counselor.

Bear in mind I had zero experience with small children - they stuck me in with the under 2's.

All the other staff were utter bitches. I've never seen anything lime it. One used to randomly shout 'CUNT!! CUNT!!! FUCK off you cunt! Come and sit on my cunt!!' at random points

Of course I had to share a room with her. She was mentally ill, I swear. I couldn't stand it after 2 weeks and headed back to Gatwick.

I worked in a large company with ‘sharon’ & ‘Tracy’ one equal to me and one our line manager. They were very chummy. For whatever reason they decided they didn’t like me and devised and quite ingenious elaborate plan to get me into trouble. They claimed I had typed up a report and sent it out to clients with major errors. I was called into a meeting and my equivalent was allowed to sit in on so she could see me get in trouble. I told them no straight away and that I wanted the meeting minuted. When it was just me and senior Tracy she told me about this report that had gone out, I asked which one it was, she couldn’t remember, I asked when it was, she couldn’t remember all she knew was that I had to get in trouble.

I went to her boss and demanded they find out what this report was, when they eventually told me I informed them it had gone to an external typing company to be written and posted out all whilst I was on holiday. Then produced my holiday tickets as evidence. Nothing happened to them.

Same company guys used to send out horrible picture and memes (before they were fashionable) and write my name all over them and send emails to each other saying ‘you want to fuck mrsm’ then leave in a pile of filing they knew I would have to do.

When I left I put in a formal complaint and got a little payout. The guys weren’t reprimanded though, one got promoted.